Memory

This time I am not talking about my terrible memory.  This time I am talking about memories that stick.  You know, the ones that you will never forget.  They are embedded in your brain and sometimes you will see something or hear something or even smell something that will bring back a memory so quickly that it takes your breath away.  You might even stand there shaking a little when it happens.  You might even look around thinking that you are actually reliving the memory.  Looking around for that person who was there with you back in the memory and sometimes you will feel such a bitter disappointment when you suddenly realize; it’s just a memory.

As I get older this happens more often.  Sometimes I feel happy when it does.  Sometimes I feel sad and sometimes I get that melancholy feeling that even though it may be sad you want to feel it.

That song did that for me a couple of days ago.  The song started playing and I can barely describe the feeling that went through me.  It was as if my dad had just walked through the door and he was standing there listening with me.  It’s been 12 years since he passed and not a single day goes by without me thinking about him.

Dad AKA   Gubby

Dad when he was in his early 80’s.

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Whitney Houston; understanding addiction.

She died at 48 years old yesterday,  so young to lose her life.   I have read many comments about her on Facebook.  Some people commenting about how sad her death is.  Others writing that she deserved to die because she was a waste of  life with all her drug using.

Quote: ” I don’t think it should be circle the wagons time and protect all the drug addicts. Sorry *****  but whitney Houston is a rotten poster child.”

The Whitney Houston bashing, in  my opinion, is being done by ignorant people.

Good solid people get addicted to drugs. They don’t plan on becoming addicts. As a matter of fact, they truly believe they will not become addicted. Many take drugs because they are in pain: physical pain, emotional pain. Unfortunately, they don’t realize that the drugs are insidious and before they know it the drug has completely taken over. They lose their free will to the drug. There is no cure. They will be an addict forever just like a diabetic will be a diabetic forever. I know this to be true. I have watched my son fight this disease for over 10 years. He is a good person.   I have heard people refer to him as ” a useless piece of shit”.   To me,  a comment like that about a drug addict shows ignorance about drug addiction.  His ex-girlfriend died of a drug overdose and it was posted in the local newspaper.  Online, people made ignorant comments about her too, writing that she deserved to die, one more addict off the street.

My son is in recovery now.  I pray he stays there.  I totally understand my family’s reluctance in accepting him back into the fold.  He has only been in recovery for 6 months.  He needs to prove that he can be trusted again.  That is going to take some time, a long time.  He hurt many people.  He is working on his ninth step now, the step about making amends.  I, too, hurt people when my son was doing drugs.  I enabled him so much that it hurt people around me.  I have had to make amends too.  Addiction hurts everyone who surrounds the addict.

Before you bash a drug addict, dead or otherwise,  you might want to learn about addiction.  This is a link to a good website that will start you on the path to understanding how addiction affects people drug-addcition-support-org.

 

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