Bicycles

First of all I am not going to diss bicyclists but I am going to diss dumbass bicyclists.  A lot of people ride bicycles on the island.  I can understand that.  The island is only 20 miles long.  I can imagine not even needing a car here.

I really think some people need to take bicycle lessons of some sort.  I was driving down one of the main streets the other day.  A bicyclist was coming toward me.  I always thought that if you were on a bicycle you rode with the traffic not against it.  Anyway that was the first rule that the dumbass broke.  He was a very well dressed preppy sort of guy about 25 years old.  He didn’t really look like a dumbass.

As soon as I saw him talking on his cell phone with one hand and holding a cup of coffee with the other hand I knew him for what he was –DUMBASS!

He was also carrying this book under his arm.  I guess he got a lot out of it. (OK, he didn’t really have the book with him but I’m sure he read it.)

DumbassDumbassBooks

He obviously couldn’t have his hands on the handle bars because of the phone and the coffee.  Needless to say, his bike swerved into the oncoming traffic which was me.  Thank goodness I drive like the granny that I am–slowly– because I was able to slam on my brakes and swerve around him at the same time cursing him like a sailor.

Today I came across another dumbass bicyclist.  Our Main Street is a one way.  I was driving slowly down Main Street when this dumbass comes careening around a corner from one of the side streets, crosses directly in front of my car like I wasn’t even there. I wonder if people like that have a death wish.

Anyway my point–DUMBASS BICYCLISTS SUCK!

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. schellinkhout
    Jun 16, 2009 @ 23:11:44

    This is why we have plastic bumpers now, the gore washes right off.

    Reply

  2. odette
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 04:57:12

    guilty as charged! hihi
    i have one dumbass cyclist moment here a few months back, and it still haunts me until this day. i blame it on left-hand driving here in ireland which still gets me confused sometimes that i almost *gulp* crashed against a car. i\’m glad he\’s a daddy with a car-load of kiddos, so he was driving very slow. i can\’t seem to forgive myself and i still haven\’t taken that road again on my cycle. i was so scared. whew. what a relief to let that off my chest. but just to be clear, i didn\’t have a phone and a coffe cup on my hands, just my stupid frozen brain\’s fault! ^-^

    Reply

  3. Anonymously Secret
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 05:03:34

    I can imagine how you feel, Joan. I hate people who are like that on the road. Completely oblivious to the people around them.

    If I were you, I wouldn\’t hesitate to knock him down and save others the trouble. I know you want to😉

    Reply

  4. kilax
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 06:35:36

    I’ve noticed a lot of bicyclists don’t follow the rules of the road. It’s so frustrating because if something happened, god forbid, it would be your fault, not theirs. There needs to be a stupidity clause.

    Reply

  5. laura
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 08:10:52

    ‘Granny that you are’! you’ve been dying to say that haven’t you!!
    Hans and I ride our bikes all over the place here in The Big City and we certainly know better. We drink our coffee (or beer) and talk on our cell phones while riding WITH traffic! And we keep our dumbass book in a back pack (along with a 6-pack). Those other bikers give us a bad name.

    Reply

  6. Maureen at IslandRoar
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 08:36:21

    I know!
    I love when they wave you on, like they know better than you when you should feel safe to pass them.
    Summer’s here…

    Reply

  7. Wendy
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 10:07:17

    Joan, the Vineyard is notorious for being a really dangerous place to ride a bike because drivers go out of their way to frighten them. There, I said it. I wouldn’t ride a bike on the Vineyard if you paid me $100 an hour. Well, I probably would do that, but I don’t think anyone will pay me. Unless someone reading this will. Will you? Will someone pay me $100 an hour to ride a bike around the Vineyard?

    Reply

  8. starlaschat
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 12:45:11

    Cell phone and coffee! Shesh! Glad he has the book maybe he will learn to ride with out the cup of coffee and cell phone. Pretty dangerous. Glad you drive like a grandma wait you are a grandma! AAww now I lost my train of thought oh ya dumbasses. Navar(my husband) said Dumbasses the other day and I said” Where did you get that from he said”Joan”. LOL

    Reply

  9. starlaschat
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 15:19:55

    I was watching some of your videos today Joan. I sure did enjoy that, your interview videos some of my favorites and BBQ videos. I see where you learned to cuss ;+) from your sister. LOL The video of you guys behind a ??? What could it be? Yep bicycle. Your so hilarious Joan. Thanks for making all those videos. Fun viewing.

    Reply

  10. Doraz
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 22:41:24

    I agree with you on this one, Joan. They need to follow the rules, or else…stay off the road! In CA , they think they always have the right of way!!! They get nasty if you honk at them! I am always afraid they are going to go wild on the road, like that guy who was drinking coffee and talking! Oh brother~~~~🙂

    Reply

  11. Eric Richardville
    Jun 17, 2009 @ 23:19:49

    I agree they go riding down the street like they own it. Literally, there is a sidewalk and they still ride on the street.

    Reply

  12. Tony
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 04:01:54

    I was driving down a double lane 100 kph (equal to 60 mph I think) highway the other night & it was dark, Suddenly all the traffic that had been travelling at 100k’s slowed down extremely/dangerously quickly. The cause, 2 Tour de France wannabe’s on racing bikes pedalling side by side in the left hand lane with tail lights not as bright as a firefly’s butt. It’s a wonder the front car never flattened the pair of them. I dunno about other places but here in Tasmania it’s legal for cyclists to ride 2 abreast. However whether its legal or not, riding a bike on a 100kph freeway at night is just downright dangerous, surely common sense has to prevail.
    I’ve noticed that apart from careless kids most of the road law breaking cyclists around our city are usually the fully decked out in lycra & $2000 racing bike riding fanatics, I always see them running red lights. I ride to & from work everyday on my mountain bike but I always follow the rules & try to be as safe & responsible as I can, except when I have the occasional senior moment.

    Reply

  13. Just a Mom
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 10:16:09

    Joan you could have tallied up at least 200 points if you had nailed them!

    I ride my bike everyday, but I follow the rules of the road! Actually I am even just a little bit smarter, I use the sidewalk if possible and when people are on the sidewalk I move over into the grass and give them the right of way.

    Reply

  14. Joy
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 10:27:58

    I don’t think they realize how dangerous they are. IF you hit one, it’s your fault! What’s up with that? Yes they do have rules but those rules are always broken and I see it happen all the time. I wish you’d have gotten a video of it. Coffee and a cell?? Please!!

    Reply

  15. David
    Jun 18, 2009 @ 18:49:07

    Holy crap! That was a dumbass all right. Possibly a suicidal dumbass. I bet he WROTE the dumbass book and was talking to his publisher who was telling him his dumbass ass is fired!

    Reply

  16. mrsvierkant
    Jun 19, 2009 @ 12:13:46

    Those dumbass cyclists start young. I saw a teen the other day, no helmet of course, with a giant soda in one had, holding the handlebar with the other and had his cell phone cradled between his neck and his ear and talking on it. Thank God he was on the sidewalk, because he was weaving all over the place. What gets into these people?

    Reply

  17. Anja
    Jun 21, 2009 @ 00:42:51

    Candidate for a Darwin Award, methinks.

    Reply

  18. Care
    Jun 24, 2009 @ 07:06:47

    Shall we add dumbass jetski drivers to the list?

    Reply

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