It Could Only Happen At Walmart!

I happened to come across this in our local newspaper.  Another news story that leaves me speechless.

Man discovers human teeth in new wallet.

By Aaron Gouveia March 03, 2009 FALMOUTH –

What’s in your wallet? A Walmart customer shopping around for a new wallet found 10 human teeth while looking through a wallet he was about to buy on Saturday night, police said.  Police said the man was shopping in the Teaticket Highway store at 9:58 p.m.when he unzipped one of the wallet’s compartments and discovered what police have identified as 10 human teeth. One tooth – which police said are from an adult – had a filling, police said.

The male customer turned the wallet and the teeth over to Walmart employees, but left the store without giving his name before police arrived. The wallet still had the original tags on it, but police said they cannot perform DNA tests because there was no blood and no gum tissue on the teeth.

Walmart officials did not release any further details but said the company will investigate. “We’re not aware of anything like this happening in the past and we believe this to be an isolated incident,” said Ashley Hardie, Walmart spokeswoman.

Police are hoping the unidentified male shopper comes forward to answer questions. Anyone else with information regarding the teeth can contact Falmouth police Det. James Pires at 508-457-2526.

Nice looking version of the recovered teeth!!

five_models_of_teeth

I saw the teeth on the local news.  It wasn’t like it was a set of teeth.  It was ten separate teeth and they weren’t in good shape.  This baffles me.  I’m always amazed at the dumbass things people do.  Was the toothless owner of the teeth lurking in the shadows waiting for the tooth fairy to show up?

It could only happen at Walmart.  A spokeswoman for Walmart said  “We believe this to be an isolated incident.”     Ya think? Will there now be a rash of people yanking out their teeth and hiding them at Walmart?

This also proves Cape Cod has it’s fair share of dumbasses. I read a second article about this in the local paper and I quote :

“The mystery has whipped up a media frenzy, a police spokeswoman said yesterday. The spokeswoman reiterated that police cannot perform DNA tests on the teeth because there was no blood or gum tissue present.

Anyone with information on the teeth is asked to contact Falmouth police Detective James Pires at 508-457-2526.”

I want to know what  the police are going to do with the person who left the teeth if they find him.  Exactly what law did he break and what will his sentence be if they find him guilty?    Any thoughts?


30 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Ram Venkatararam
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 19:42:05

    Actually, I own a convenience store and some time ago I had a customer find a tooth in their coffee cup. It was mine (I’m between dentists) and very embarassing.

    But I agree….10 teeth. Only at Walmart. Gotta think that if these are walmart shoppers there has to be more than one person responsible. Be hard for one customer to come up with 10 teeth.

    15% off coffee at my store in celebration

    Hopefully you have found a good dentist! I’ll take you up on that coffee discount. You are too funny😉

    Reply

  2. The Vinyl Villager
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 20:19:08

    Its my experience that most Wal mart shoppers dont come with any teeth to start with. To find the owner should be very easy.

    I hope you are right.. I prefer my wallets tooth free!!

    Reply

  3. javajunkee
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 20:28:47

    ROFLMAO…geez ok note to self…dumbasses reside at the cod too!

    Oh Joanie..you are gonna have some fun there!

    I hope so!! Life sucks without fun!!

    Reply

  4. Red
    Mar 05, 2009 @ 23:56:26

    whatttt?!!! that is cah-razy ..
    and vinyl villager .. true, so true!

    You are both so right!!

    Reply

  5. JavaQueen
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 01:14:01

    Yuck. Yuck, and yuck. “Was the toothless owner of the teeth lurking in the shadows waiting for the tooth fairy to show up?” BAHAHAHAHAH! He’s still there, lurking and waiting to score big $$$ – This is too bizarre, but from Walm*rt, I can see it happening🙂 Personally, I was expecting this to have come out of Florida- all the weird ass news seems to come from there!

    That’s true about Florida. I’ve heard some weird new stories from there. I’d probably do the same thing if I thought the tooth fairy would show up. I think I’d pick a more upscale place, though.

    Reply

  6. Hannah
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 01:50:47

    Oh my word, what a strange story!! I don’t hear about these “odd but newsworthy” stories from the States because they don’t make it into our papers. But gosh, I had to wonder at this one … who would keep old teeth in their wallet?? Who would keep old teeth at all?? Of course, keeping your little one’s baby teeth is one thing, but adult teeth in not-so-good condition? EWWW!

    That is the question isn’t it? Who would keep old teeth? Yes, you really have to wonder about this one.

    Reply

  7. jeanette
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 03:06:59

    LOL strange things happens . . . and at least some of them gives us a good laugh : )

    But then again one can wonder about the Police statement “.. not to be able to find any DNA..” ; ) It’s not like a crime has been committed or am I missing something out here?

    Thanks for sharing!

    I thought the same thing. Why would the police waste any time on this. I would hope they have better things to do.

    Reply

  8. trishatruly
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 04:25:57

    Joan, that is one weird-ass story! I wonder why they even considered doing DNA testing. Unless they have a DNA data bank and the person who left the teeth is IN it, what could they possibly use the information for? D-oh!!

    Methinks your local reporters and the police have too much time on their hands! ROFL!

    Reply

  9. croneandbearit
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 12:44:16

    Hey sweetie – I left an award for you over at my place!

    Hugs!

    Reply

  10. Joy
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 12:44:17

    Only Walmart is right!!! LMAO!!! Maybe it’s a serial tooth puller and he sneaks in the night and pulls out peoples teeth and his stash was getting to big so he dumped them at Walmart and was hoping the tooth fairy would find them and put the money in the wallet and then he’d buy it!!!!!!!!

    Not buying that??? It’s the best I could do at this time of day! This really is the weirdest thing. I’d also like to know what they’d book the guy for “if” they find him/her!!! LOL!!!

    Reply

    • joanharvest
      Mar 07, 2009 @ 12:40:47

      I learned how to use this reply thing from you. Thanks for letting me know about it.

      A serial tooth puller–I sure hope not!

      Reply

      • Joy
        Mar 07, 2009 @ 13:13:32

        Isn’t this reply thing great?? I love it. Now you can see when someone new reply’s on the recent comments. That’s what I love the most about it. I could never tell if you’d replied because it wasn’t there and we’d have to scroll down so far.

        THIS IS GREAT!

        Reply

  11. Diane
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 17:20:01

    Now, let’s do some sluething…those look like adult teeth, and they have no fillings. Most Americans have, or used to have bad diets and not perfect teeth. So, what if the wallet arrived with them? What if the wallet was made in China, and some factory worker had to get rid of them for some reason?…….
    I love the tooth fairy idea, but I won’t go there…..

    I never thought of that idea. I wonder if they are Chinese teeth? You would make a great detective, Diane.

    Reply

  12. widdleshamrock
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 18:29:58

    Very odd indeed.

    And you would hope it is an isolated incident wouldn’t you?

    Yes, I would really like to think this is an isolated incident. I really don’t want to find old teeth in the next wallet I buy.

    Reply

  13. lupusranting
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 18:57:55

    Ewwwww!

    Maybe the wallet had a parasitic “twin” ?
    Maybe a hidden camera somewhere?

    That’s gotta be one of the most bizarre stories I’ve heard in a while. Keep up the good work!

    Reply

  14. Amy Hunter
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 19:56:39

    This story would only be weirder if someone calls the police to report their teeth missing…

    Reply

  15. teeni
    Mar 06, 2009 @ 22:16:40

    LOL. Maybe they will force him to shop at Wal-Mart as punishment. It always seems like a punishment to me. 😉

    Reply

  16. kilax
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 11:09:48

    That is so so weird. And you’re right – that would only happen at Wal-Mart! I wonder if someone put them there as a joke – but why? And why would they have them?!

    Reply

  17. run4change
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 15:47:32

    I think is it a serial killer who was trying to leave a clue to his victims identity.

    Reply

  18. thebeadden
    Mar 07, 2009 @ 17:43:43

    Oh this is interesting….
    run4change has my mind on overtime.

    Someone in China trying to send a message or getting rid of evidence?

    A cry for help from a forced low wage worker so we can buy cheap goods.
    😉

    Reply

  19. mrsvierkant
    Mar 10, 2009 @ 18:48:21

    That’s just nasty. And I was at my local WalMart today. I didn’t buy any wallets and I didn’t leave any teeth around either, LOL.

    Reply

  20. odette
    Mar 12, 2009 @ 02:08:18

    ewww, this is gross, but nonetheless hilarious! ^-^

    Reply

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