I Need A Walker

So the deal is I have to get a walker.  We all know my favorite disabled accoutrement is my cane and I have some cool canes.

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Have you ever tried to buy a cool walker?  I doubt it because they don’t make them cool. They are made to make you look as elderly and disabled as possible.

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S0, your mission for tonight,  if you are willing to accept it is:  Help me come up with some ideas to decorate it.  They have to be fairly easy because I’m fairly lazy but come on folks,  we know I need cool stuff.   A  plain walker just won’t work for me.

I am due to be released on Wednesday.  I sure hope so.  I WANT TO GO HOME!!!!!

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My boy, YODA

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Oh, BTW,  I got this beautiful basket from Joy Erickson. She knows I am on weight watchers and got me something I could actually eat and love.  Thank you so much, Joy.  I did have to share some of it.  There isn’t much fresh fruit around here.

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I have also received many cards and e-mails and I want to thank you all.  It really means a lot to me.

I think I am healing very well.  I do have to stay an extra couple of days because I haven’t reached the 90 degree angle that they want my knee to bend at.  I’ve reached 70 degrees though.  I am on a CPM machine every day for  6 hours.

16497143_scaled_450x240I am on it 3 times a day for two hours each time.  It basically moves your knee for you. I also have physical therapy twice a day.

I had to change rooms a couple of days ago because I hadn’t slept in 4 days because of my snoring roommate.  The first night after I switched rooms I slept for 6 hours straight which is a record for me.  I still feel tired but much better.  You certainly don’t come here to rest.

I don’t have much else going on.  I’m going to bed early tonight.  Nighty Night!!!

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Why I Don’t Want To Work in a Nursing Home!

I’ve been at  “the Home”  for 3 days.  Just long enough to realize I could never work in a  “Home”.  I have to give these people a lot of credit.  I could never do what they do.  You have to be physically strong, mentally strong and crazy to work here. If you’re not crazy you have to have a lot of patience and really like your fellow man or woman.

I thought they still dressed like this.  I was wrong.

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Imagine coming into my room and seeing me laying on the bed. I tell you I need a bedpan.  Your job is to stuff it under my broken butt without hurting me, wait until I am done and then clean my ass.  Now doesn’t that sound like a satisfying  job?

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They not only clean us up but they serve our meals.  They even offer to put the cream in our coffee.   When they are not doing these jobs they are sticking needles in arms, taking blood pressure  and making sure we have non skid socks  so we don’t break our asses, again.

I think the worst part of the job for these workers is they have to be nice to rude, whiny, know-it-all people. The things some of these patients say to the nurses and aides shocks me.

I myself just spill water on the floor all day and then ring the buzzer so they can clean it up.  I don’t want them to feel useless. To be truthful,  I actually did spill stuff today more times than I would like to admit.  The guy taking care of our section cleaned it up with a smile.  I’m in rehab heaven at this place.

Truthfully, I have been treated so well  I might decide to stay.  A few of the nurses and aides remember me from the last time I stayed here.  I must have made an impression. The question is was it good or bad?

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I haven’t had one single person be rude to me.  Everyone seems to be genuinely happy with their work.  Oh jeebus, I hope there  isn’t some Stepford Wives thing going on here.  You know, the owners drug or hypnotize all the employees to be perfect nurses and aides. That’s why they always smile when they empty the bedpans. OMG,  maybe I should stay awake tonight.

Wait they’re coming…………

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Musings at “The Home”.

.  The following are a few of the things I spent my time doing today.

  • Going to pee and  having a nurse pull down my pants.  OK,  maybe the guys would like it but I didn’t.
  • Having the woman across the hall say “I don’t want to wake up dead in the morning.”
  • Having my roomie  moan the better part of the evening.
  • Waiting for the nurse to come and take care of my roomie  who moaned the better part of the evening.
  • Watching my roomie look for her phone while she was talking on it. (This gave me 15 minutes of rapturous gaiety)
  • Wondering how long it will be before Sarah and Obie figure out that they like having me in the home.
  • Wondering why I can walk on my leg but can’t lift it off the bed.
  • Tired of looking at my roomie’s underwear–while she is wearing it.
  • Wondering why the hell they wake me up at 5:15 AM every morning.
  • Wondering if they are going to serve that yellow stuff  for breakfast again.
  • Wondering what that yellow stuff is they serve for breakfast.
  • Wondering how I could end up in the same room I was in when I had pneumonia two years ago. ( 120— REDRUM)
  • Wondering what I would be doing if I didn’t have all this stuff to wonder about.

My blood really is red.

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My roommate’s side of the room.  I couldn’t get out of bed to take a photo of my side.

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My chair is on the right.  I don’t sit in my chair.  It gives me ass pain.

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Lunch

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Flowers from my niece, Emily, and her hubby, John!!

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Visitors–Pam and Brady!

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I guess I really do have a lot of time on my hands.

Who Knew My Broken Ass Would Come Back And Bite Me!!

The most painful thing right now is my broken ass.  Broken asses suck!!  Yeah, you heard it here!!  I thought my knee would hurt and it does but not as much as my fat old ass.

I can’t really walk so I have to sit on my ass all day and it freakin’   hurts.  I can’t turn the other cheek ( and I’m talking ass cheek) because my knee hurts.  What’s a crippled old lady supposed to do?

Prepped for surgery!

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After surgery!

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Due to pain I am going to sign off for now but have no fear I am alive and I am going to cane the pain.  I miss you all and thanks for the cards and e-mails.  The hospital said they never got more e-mails at the same time for one person.  I’m sure they think I sent them to myself.

I’ll post more soon when they realize I need a pain reliever.

YooHoo’s Time On The Island Comes To An End!

After going to look at engagement rings YooHoo and I went for a ride.  I’m assuming you watched the video in my last post which shows how we got lost. We went into Oak Bluffs again and took a few more photos.

More Gingerbread houses

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The East Chop Lighthouse

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Helping me pack

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Visiting my Fairy House

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Patiently waiting while I take a shower

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Saying Goodbye

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YooHoo & Yoda say goodbye!

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It’s a Go For Tomorrow and YooHoo Gets Engaged!

Yes, It’s a go and you can launch me right over to Falmouth Hospital tomorrow!!  I am ready to go.   I found out the good news this morning.  The surgery is on.

We have developing news about my kitty, Yoda and YooHoo!  They are in love.

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Better yet, they are engaged.  YooHoo is still trying to decide which ring she likes the best.

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While she was thinking she tried on lots of other jewelry.  She’s planning ahead for next Valentine’s day.

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“The Wave”  is my favorite piece!!

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I love the sea glass!!

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I,  personally, question whether this engagement will last.  Long distance relationships usually don’t last.  Yoda is a stay at home kind of guy and YooHoo seems like a party girl.  Well, we’ll see.

Here is a 46 second video of YooHoo making fun of me.

I’ll have one more update tonight then away we go.

YooHoo Arrives On The Island by Plane

After going to the PO I jumped crawled in the car and whipped open YooHoo’s box.  Out she jumped right into my lap.  She Thought she was going to come by ferry but instead she got a plane ride.

I had to go the the Martha’s Vineyard hospital to have a urine test because I ended up with a UTI.  The doctor put me on Cipro for a week and today I had to get the final test. If I still have the UTI they will postpone the surgery

YooHoo and I set out for the hospital.  I had to sneak her in.  I doubt if you can bring animals into the hospital.

Yup, that’s pee in the cup.

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The problem with the whole pee in a cup thing was that the first two times there was no pee to pee in the cup. I drank 6 cups of  water, 1 diet  coke and a cup of coffee.  The nurse assured me it would only take 15 minutes and I’d be able to pee.  WRONG!!!  Three hours late I finally got some pee in the cup.  I did go home and wait, though. Poor YooHoo, she was so bored.

We  then took the longer way home to see Oak Bluffs.  Unfortunately it was raining, snowing, sleeting and windy all at the same time.

The gingerbread houses in Oak Bluffs.

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Finally we got home for good just in time to make supper.  YooHoo is quite the chef.  Together we made shepherd’s pie.

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Yoda the kitty boy steals a kiss!

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YooHoo lights a candle to set the mood (what a hussy)

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YooHoo looking mighty pretty!

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Yoda making his move.  I had to kick Yoda out.  He was getting way too friendly.

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Well, they are both sleeping and I am heading to bed.  I hope it is sunny tomorrow so YooHoo and I can see the island.

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