Bittersweet!

Bittersweet refers to a combination of the standard tastes of sweetness and bitterness, and is often used as a metaphor for experiences which have elements of both happiness and sadness.

bittersweet-along-the-presumpscot-at-westbrook

That is how I feel today.  The truck is packed.  We leave in a couple of hours for the boat.  I sit in my room for the last time.  I hope this move will turn out for the best.  I look at the lines on the kitchen wall where I carved Damon’s height as he grew from a boy to a man.  I remember bringing Sarah home from the hospital as I envision taking her to the hospital ( on a very slow boat) to give birth to her own daughter.

This house holds so many memories.  I seem only to remember the good ones.  The bad ones tossed away.  I think of my future.  I think of my granddaughter and daughter.  I think of my son so far away.  I want to hug him.

The house is silent as I say my goodbyes.  A single tear falls as I write this.  I look forward to new memories as I put the old ones in a safe place.  A place where I can bring them out anytime.

I look through the skylight at the trees that seem so much taller now.  I remember planting that blue spruce the year Sarah was born.  Now it stands tall and stately just like her.   I know I will be happy wherever I am as long as I am with family.

Oh fuckity fuck,  just get me on the damn boat!!!!


25 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. widdleshamrock
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 16:39:03

    Hugs Joan.

    I was there 4 years ago, leaving the house that I moved into when I was 7 months pregnant with the Now Miss 19.

    May the new house bring just as many, if not more happy memories.

    Reply

  2. sheng
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 17:36:14

    Joanie! Way to go! Post more when you are settled! I will miss you so be back soon! I am pretty sure you are so excited already!

    Reply

  3. 3boys1mommy
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 17:51:25

    Aww Joanie, I’d break if my folks sold the house I grew up in, actually I’d probably buy it from them. I’m sure you’ll have fun in your new home. Enjoy.

    Reply

  4. birdpress
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 17:52:50

    Aw, I don’t know what to say… Hugs to you. And best wishes for many years of creating wonderful memories in your new home! 🙂

    Reply

  5. Hay
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 19:31:42

    Oh Joan…hugs!

    And, on a lighter note….fuckity fuck is my new favourite saying.

    Reply

  6. thegirlfromtheghetto
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 19:33:18

    Oh, I hope you will have many happy memories at your new home!!!! Just think of all the famous people you are going to run into on the ilsand.

    Reply

  7. Amy Hunter
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 20:40:13

    That was beautifully written, Joan. I too would find it hard to imagine not living in my current home, but the things that make a house a home go with us. I think you’re right that you’ll find many new good memories where you’re headed.

    Reply

  8. trishatruly
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 20:52:55

    Once you’ve settled into your new beautiful home it will seem better. Saying good bye just always sucks donkey balls, Joan.

    God bless you and your family and your new place.

    Hugs while your tears dry…

    Reply

  9. teeni
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 20:56:05

    On to bigger and even better things for you, my friend! You are only leaving a house, a shell. But the memories of all the good times you had there will be packed up in your heart for you no matter where you go. Now go on and make many more in your new home! 🙂 Love and hugs to you!

    Reply

  10. javajunkee
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 22:49:27

    I think it’s very cool that you are moving in with your daughter..just think of that! How many moms actually get invited to live with their kids anymore ? 😦 I’m on a boo hoo about my kids getting ready to move out on their own.

    You will have so many new, different memories. I know how leaving that place can create a hole and an ache. It kills me to drive by the house I grew up in…there was no way we could fix it up but the people that bought it at least did “cosmetic” on it and it looks so pretty. Makes me horribly sad to know that somebody else is in my old room..and oh holy crap if the walls in that house could tattle ..I would be in trrrrrouble!

    so it is bittersweet and I can so understand. I keep thinking I want out of this trailer ..and really I do..but the kids are like bucking about it being where they grew up for the most part of their lives and yada yada.

    can’t wait to see pictures of you rocking in that rocker on the porch with a little baby in your arms.

    Reply

  11. kilax
    Jan 31, 2009 @ 23:27:19

    Ha ha ha! Nice ending! I can’t believe the move is today! It feels so soon! Time is really flying, isn’t it?

    Reply

  12. Little Miss
    Feb 01, 2009 @ 00:24:05

    Aw, Joan, that was a touching – and then funny – post. Thank you for sharing, and best of all the best wishes to you and your family for a blissful future ahead.

    Reply

  13. Emerald
    Feb 01, 2009 @ 00:53:48

    Aw, this is so beautiful Joan! I’m so sad/happy/excited for you! And of course, a perfect punch at the end there 😉 It’s months away, and I’m already thinking ‘fuckityfuck just get me on the plane!’

    Reply

  14. Em
    Feb 01, 2009 @ 09:45:32

    aww, goodbyes are so hard. But you are going to be so happy in your new home! Im very excited for you! ((hugs))

    Reply

  15. lupusranting
    Feb 01, 2009 @ 14:00:32

    Fuckity-fuck is my new favorite! Change is hard, even when it is something good. Hold on to the here and now. I’m sending you prayers and good thoughts of sunny days and springtime. There will be new trees to plant for your grandaughter. 🙂

    Reply

  16. mrsvierkant
    Feb 01, 2009 @ 21:13:01

    (((Hugs))) Memories are precious, aren’t they. I hope you grow to love your new home with all it’s new memories.

    Reply

  17. javajunkee
    Feb 02, 2009 @ 08:15:16

    so we got fuckity-fuck and tiddleypom? (was that it?)

    Reply

  18. Joy
    Feb 02, 2009 @ 11:44:06

    This is sad on one hand and fuckity-fuck-fuck funny on the other!! I don’t know which issue to address!!! LMAO!!!!!! We could each add a line to it and make our own rap song!!! Java, get on that will ya??

    I grew up in the same house my whole life. When it got sold, I was pretty sad but it wasn’t the “end all.” When we sold our house that I raised the boys in and moved, that was much harder. I was like you Joan. I just sat in the quiet house with tears rolling down my face with the memories rushing all around and swirling in my head. I knew it was the best thing for us and we are more than happy now living in the country. While we all still talk about that house, my grandchildren will have much more fun and way more adventure and this is the place that their memories will be. So I guess I traded one for the better of the other. I wouldn’t want to go back and live near MPLS ever, EVER again.

    I’ve been thinking about you and was so glad to see this post and will really look forward to the next one.

    Reply

  19. Just a Mom
    Feb 02, 2009 @ 12:05:44

    My mother always told me a house is just a house. A home is the love and the memories that you keep inside your heart.

    I hope you enjoy your home! 🙂

    Reply

  20. Wendy
    Feb 02, 2009 @ 12:20:38

    Well, Joan, I’m totally hip to everything you’re feeling about leaving the old house. Just remember change is good, and you’ve got so many good thoughts coming your way. This is a great thing you’re doing.

    Reply

  21. museditions
    Feb 03, 2009 @ 03:15:37

    Such a sweet, lovely post; what an excellent writer, you! And then that last line; so Joan—but guess what? The first part gives us a different glimpse into your soul. I like it there. Best of luck with the move. New house! New grandchild! Many new things to post about! 🙂

    Reply

  22. thebeadden
    Feb 03, 2009 @ 14:05:12

    What a post. I feel the loss but just know the good things ahead. I bet it would be so hard to leave. Sorry 😦

    Hope you are doing well, Joan. Getting settled in and started in your new life on the Island!

    Reply

  23. JavaQueen
    Feb 04, 2009 @ 05:00:07

    Joan, only good things await you and your family- you are one in a million. And what a great way to end this post, in a fuckity fuck protest! I love it!

    Reply

  24. jeanny
    Feb 05, 2009 @ 03:15:13

    This post made me teary a bit but when I got at the last part the fuckity fuch thing….there goes the real Joan….cheery and kickin. lolz

    Hope you be back soon!

    Reply

  25. jeanny
    Feb 05, 2009 @ 03:15:26

    This post made me teary a bit but when I got at the last part the fuckity fuck thing….there goes the real Joan….cheery and kickin. lolz

    Hope you be back soon!

    Reply

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