It’s a New Day and Other Stuff!!!

We went to Grampa’s funeral yesterday.  It was an open casket funeral. I had never been to one like this before so it was kind of difficult especially for Sarah and Damon. The minister from Grampa’s church spoke and he was very good.  He tried to make it a more joyous occasion than sad. He did a good job of it.  Barry spoke next and I almost clapped afterward.  But I guess it’s not appropriate to clap at a funeral home.  Barry’s talk was just so good.

I wanted to take photos but I figured that wouldn’t be appropriate either. There was one beautiful scene of Barry in the middle with his arms around Sarah and Damon at the coffin looking down on Grampa.  And then they all burst into laughter.  Only Barry can make you laugh at a funeral.  Evidently Grampa didn’t have his regular glasses on. He had some giant ones that he didn’t normally wear and of course only Barry could see the humor in it. When Barry made the comment and I’m not exactly sure what he said, Sarah told me she was laughing and crying at the same time.

After the burial we went to Grampa’s favorite restaurant for a buffet luncheon.  It was wonderful to see all of Barry’s relatives whom I hadn’t seen since Sarah’s wedding over 4 years ago.  Grampa’s younger brother was there.  He’s 91 and is a Doctor and still works.  He does consultations.

On the way to the funeral I took this photo of Barry’s crotch after he ate a muffin while driving.  Unfortunately it came out blurry but you can see the mess of crumbs in his lap after he ate the muffin.  Leslie and I teased him unmercifully over it.

After the whole thing was over, Barry took Leslie and I the long way home.

We ended up in Newport, Rhode Island.  Newport is where all the incredible Mansions are.  The Vanderbilt’s had there summer cottage there.  Many “summer cottages” were built in the late 1800’s and early 1900’s in Newport. This is an example of just one.  It is called “The Breakers”.

Many of these mansions are open to the public and I have been to all of them many times over the years. They really are incredible to see. We didn’t go in any yesterday though Barry and Leslie managed to do a little bird watching.

I took a photo of this white pigeon.  Barry said you don’t see white ones very often. I consider this pigeon a good omen, the start of a new beginning for everyone in my home.

Damon’s girlfriend came all the way from Buffalo for the funeral (an 8 hour drive).  Afterward they took off to New Hampshire to see the foliage for a couple of days.

Sarah and Obie are at Cirque Du Soleil in Boston today.  Barry and Leslie are bird watching– that’s a surprise!! Ha! Ha! That leaves me home alone and it is so nice. But I will look forward to tonight when they all descend upon me again. I will have a hot supper ready for everyone.  Tonight is crock pot orange dijon boneless fatless pork chops with tiny baby carrots. I suppose I should go cook it.

Oh, one more photo. I saw this in front of one of our stores in town LAST WEEK!!  A  little early for Christmas if you ask me.

Love to everyone and I really appreciate all the comments and e-mails through this difficult time.  But now I look forward to good times.  I’ll be making new videos and announcing the winner of my “name my video show” contest.  I’ll be visiting your blogs.  I HAVE A LOT TO LOOK FORWARD TO AND BE THANKFUL FOR.


19 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. threeboys1mommy
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 13:28:32

    I’m so glad to hear from you again, Joan. I had read your last post but never got around to offering my condolences. I’m sorry for your loss.

    Enjoy being Home Alone. I know I always do 🙂


  2. teeni
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 14:08:20

    You have such a great attitiude! I bet Barry’s ability to make the kids laugh and cry is a blessing beyond all words. It certainly allows people to let their emotions out without any embarrassment and to grieve properly. I’m so glad you are still friends with your wasband and his family. The fact that your marriage failed doesn’t mean that either of you are bad people and it’s nice that you are both mature enough to deal with that. You all truly inspire me. Seriously. Here’s to the life that your father-in-law lived and here’s also to new beginnings for you and yours. Much love to you!


  3. Joy
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 16:32:35

    I so agree with Teeni. Your children are so lucky that you and Barry have this kind of relationship. To many who part ways end up hating and it’s so sad. I never understood how you could hate someone so much that you once loved.

    I thought about you all day yesterday and am glad it went okay. In a way funerals are a good thing and now that it’s over you all will be able to move on.

    I’m so happy to see you back. I’ve really missed you. By the way, those mansions are just gorgeous.


  4. Hannah
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 16:45:57

    I think Barry is wonderful, to be able to turn a sad occasion into one of fond & happy memories. That can be so hard to do. You know, I have never thought about photos at funerals, but I know there definitely were some from my Grandad’s one, as I remember seeing myself with my blue striped skirt & top, puffy eyes and tear-stained face. I hated looking at those photos when I was a teenager. But now? I think I’m glad that they were taken. It’s hard to look at them, but it’s continuing the story of my life, of my Grandad’s passing from this world. As a scrapbooker now, I can see the importance of capturing all the moments and memories, the good and the bad. But you are right, I assume taking photos at a funeral is a tricky thing, not something that is really “done”, but all the same something that you feel you might want to do. Quite a difficult paradox, really.

    I am so happy that you are blogging again, although I completely understand why you had a wee break. Your kids are so blessed to have a lovely family around them at a time that must be tough for them both. Losing a grandparent is really hard. Big ((hugs)) to you all.


  5. thebeadden
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 17:11:00

    You have been on my mind all week too, Joan. It is an inspiration to read about how close you family is. It is obvious that you all have big hearts.

    ((((hugs)))) to your whole family for your your loss.

    The crumbs! hahaha!
    And the buildings, wow! That you have walked through them. They are so beautiful. Imagine having to clean them though? No thanks!

    It’s never too early for Christmas…. 🙂
    I’m blushing because of my post yesterday.

    Take care, Joan.


  6. birdpress
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 18:54:12

    I sure hope people laugh at my funeral. I may have to play some kind of practical joke from beyond the grave or something. I’m glad you are back posting again and that you got some closure with the funeral. (((hugs))) from me too.


  7. tuapekaweka
    Oct 19, 2008 @ 20:36:39

    You and your family have been very much on my mind too, Joan. xx

    Although a very sad day for you all it sounds like it was a wonderful send off for a man much loved to you all.

    Yes, the Christmas thing, lol. One of our big chain stores has had Christmas stuff out on their shelves since early September, would you believe.

    Too much!


  8. kaylee2
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 00:29:00

    glad you are back HUGSSSSSS!!!!!!!


  9. trishatruly
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 09:14:03

    Welcome back, Joan. So sorry for your loss.
    I can only hope that when it’s my time to be layed out that folks there can find something to make their tears turn to laughter, too. God bless you all.


  10. javajunkee
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 09:47:10

    (((Joan and family))), very sad for your loss.

    very glad to see you will be back with us. I’ve missed you terribly. You are one of my twinkle lights!


  11. Jim
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 11:46:12

    Sorry to hear about the loss of your grandpa. Beautiful pictures you have here. And I’m glad to see you’re back, too.


  12. Just a Mom
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 12:01:25

    Glad to see ya back!


  13. Red
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 18:16:49

    Im so very sorry, Joan . .
    Yes, some folks find it appropriate to take pictures at a funeral. Here in the sticks, they do. They take pics of the funeral and burial spot . . and people clapped at my sister’s funeral after my cousin Jimmy sang a song. it does happen, you ought to not worry about what others think. Fuck ’em.

    So yeah, I’m sorry 🙂
    As always, your pictures are wonderful. I love how you share with us your journeys and adventures.


  14. kaylee
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 18:56:54

    oh btew i have a donor


  15. mrsvierkant
    Oct 20, 2008 @ 19:59:03


    Thinking of you and your family Joan.

    Oh, and I’ve laughed at funerals before. Somehow it eases that sadness a little.

    Mrs. V


  16. javajunkee
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 07:58:05

    I just have to add one thing..

    Leave it up to you to take a picture of crumbs in a guys crotch during a trip like that. ONLY YOU! 🙂
    Love ya! Now go find those dumbasses.


  17. javajunkee
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 08:02:06

    Ok one more thing. My mom took pictures of my grandpa in his casket. I don’t know if she was playing with the film speed, lighting or wth but there are like 40 pictures all basically the same..I mean he had one pose right? WTH mom??? Those pictures are still up at her house somewhere. I remember we’d all be laying around on the floor looking through the pictures and we’d come to those and nobody wanted to touch them. Kind of spooooky. But that was like so many years ago it might have been a common thing.


  18. duskydi
    Oct 21, 2008 @ 23:06:43

    Oh Joan what a lovely post. I was giggling all the way and I know its sad but its not neither.

    What a great guy your Barry is, I’ve always thought that, Hehe!! Before I read the post I looked at the pictures and thought what the bloody hell is Barry doing bird watching in a suit.

    The glasses hehe!! I had a similar soort of carry on at my mums funeral.

    You made me laugh out load when you said you nearly clapped, I imagined you clapping like the clampers then relaizing where you were hehe!! and going all shy and red.

    ARGH !! Hehe! I wanted to take photos to. My sister went berserk at me, I did the speech at the church to and made everybody laugh and cry. The priest asked me if I was a public speaker, I said NO ! I’ve just sat in NA meetings for far to long. hehe!!

    Wow wow and wow. What an amazing place you live in Joan. The mansions oh the mansions. Joan can you take pictures in the mansions.

    Do you know what Joan…..
    You live with so much beauty, your a wonderful person with a wonderful loving family,

    I love this sad but very funny post,a post full of everything. Yur very thorough Joans of Everything.


    (((((((Barrys Dad))))))))


  19. duskydi
    Oct 22, 2008 @ 19:41:00

    I forgot to say

    Rest In Peace Barrys Dad.



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