E-Mail, Scams and Salesman!!

This is a copy of an E-mail I just got.

Dear In Christ,
I greet you in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ our Lord, I am  Mrs Anna Morri from Solomon Island I am married to Mr Alex Morri who worked with Solomon Island embassy in Cote d’Ivoire. for nine years before he died in the year 2004.We were married for eleven years without a child. He died after a brief illness that lasted for only four days. Before his death we were both born again Christians.
Since his death I decided not to remarry or get a child outside my matrimonial home which the Bible is against.When my late husband was alive he deposited the sum of US$3.3million dollars in a Bank here in Abidjan Cote d’Ivoire. Presently, this money is still in bank.Recently, my Doctor told me that I would not last for the next Eight months due to cancer problem.
The one that disturbs me most is my stroke sickness. Having known my condition I decided to donate this fund to a charity organization that will utilize this money the way I am going to instruct herein.
I want an organization that will use this fund for orphanages, schools, churches and widows, propagating the word of God and to endeavor that the house of God is maintained. The Bible made us to understand that “Blessed is the hand that giveth”. I took this decision because I don’t have any child that will inherit this money and my husband relatives are not Christians and I don’t want my husband’s efforts to be used by unbelievers.
I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly way. This is why I am taking this decision. I am not afraid of death hence I know where I am going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the Lord. Exodus 14 VS 14 says that “the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace”. I don’t need any telephone communication in this regard because of my health hence the presence of my husband’s relatives around me always. I don’t want them to know about this development. With God all things are possible. As soon as I receive your reply I shall give you the contact of the Bank here in Abidjan, Cote d’Ivoire.
I will also issue you an authority  letter that will prove you the present beneficiary of this fund. I want you and the church to always pray for me because the lord is my shephard. My happiness is that I lived a life of a worthy Christian. Whoever that Wants to serve the Lord must serve him in spirit and Truth. Please always be prayerful all through your life. Any delay in your reply will give me room in sourcing another church/organisation for this same purpose. Please promise me that you will act accordingly as I Stated herein. Hoping to receive your reply.
Remain blessed in the Lord Take care,
In Christ’s Holy Love
Yours Sister in Christ
Mrs Anna Morri
Talk about taking the Lord’s name in vain.
WTF, this is worse than the Nigerian scams.  They also need to work on spelling and punctuation.   Now they are using Christ’s name to get money off innocent people.  I was going to say dumbasses but some of the people who receive this won’t know any better.  The elderly people who think they will somehow be helping someone (themselves) .

“According to information found on the Internet, this photo of Jesus Christ was miraculously materialized by Sathya Sai Baba over a computer print-out of the image of Jesus’ countenance found on the shroud of Turin (which is believed to be the burial shroud of Jesus).”  I ganked this from who knows where.

“miraculously materialized”  Is it just me or are people going crazy?  Do people really believe this stuff?

The lady in the e-mail makes it seem that she wants the money to go to charity and then she is willing to give it to me.  Give me a freakin’ break. If I ever did get that kind of money, after I bought my laptop and a large house and paid off my kid’s debt, bought a car and a boat for my son there wouldn’t be a whole hell of a lot left for charity.
Quite a few years ago I had some guy call me on the phone trying to sell me some kind of crap that you put down your toilet and it was supposed to make your septic system last longer. My neighbors (thank you very much, but no thanks) recommended my name to him.  Back then, whenever I got a call from someone trying to sell me something I would tell the person that my husband was in the same business as they were.  It worked every time.  They didn’t know I was divorced.   If it was an insurance man I would tell him my husband sold insurance.  If they were trying to sell me windows I would tell them my husband sold windows.
So I told this guy that my husband was a plumber and he put that stuff in our toilet all the time.  This guy wouldn’t take no for an answer. He (and I swear this is true) started crying.  He started to tell me how he needed the money, blah, blah, blah.  I hate being rude but I had to hang up on him.  Now I wouldn’t even talk to him but back then I was more naive, somewhat.  I was “drained” after talking to him.
Anyone try to scam you lately? Or ever?  Share with us!!!
And if I get one more E-mail for Cialis I will scream.  Why would I want that crap?  Well, the wasband might. What I want to know is:  Has anyone actually ever bought Cialis through one of these e-mails?
What exactly does this mean? I pity the poor guy who is always ready. That’s like getting all dressed up with no where to go.
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16 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Little Miss
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 11:32:00

    I get those all the time and they are so irritating – typos and misspellings aside. And there are some people who do fall for it, sadly enough. One would think that after so long of society knowing about these scams that they’d have stopped, but no…

    And I’m also sick of the ED ads… seriously… I love how you described it. LMAO.

    Well, now that I know what ED stands for, I am sick of them too. I used to have people try to scam me when I owned a business too. They would offer to buy 300 bottles of a vitamin and then try to pay with a bad check or credit card. . Fortunately I had heard of that scam.

    Reply

  2. Just a Mom
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 12:01:49

    I am always skeptic when it comes to handing over my money. Just ask my kids! I have never fallen for a scam not even from my kiddos! 🙂

    I am afraid to say I have been scammed by one of my children who shall remain unnamed.

    Reply

  3. Joy
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 14:51:50

    I’m with you. These ads all suck. You did hit the nail on the head though, the elderly. They fall for these kinds of things way more than we do and some of them lose their life savings. Why oh why do they suddenly get older and lose every brain cell they ever had? The worst that do this to the elderly I find are contractors who do “work” for them and ruin their homes, take their money and vanish. It’s on the news so often that it breaks my heart.

    I used to have AOL, then I had yahoo. I got so many junk emails and I got so tired of it. I now go through my phone company and get none. I’m happier than a pig in shit. I hated all those emails.

    Great post Joan

    You are so right about that contractor business and scamming the elderly with it. My daughter is so funny. She is always warning me about the internet. She’ll say “You be careful, Mom. You can’t trust everyone the way you do.”. Unfortunately, she is right.

    Reply

  4. dropofkim
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 15:50:14

    OH those totally drive me nuts. I hate getting those emails. People are insane. Jesus also frequently appears in toast too. Still haven’t gotten him to show up in my pancakes!

    For Christmas I bought my sister this thing that you press into a piece of bread and it leaves the outline of Jesus when you make toast so she has Jesus toast daily.

    Reply

  5. Peter Parkour
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 15:50:51

    “I WANT YOUR MONEY”

    Ha! 😛 No scams to report here, or at least non that I fell for. There always seems to be some kind of crapping coming through the e-mail, and now through WordPress. Is everyone else getting all of the ED med, insurance, gambling and other such spam through your WP comments? Nice post. 😉

    Yea, I get a lot of scam stuff through WordPress. Askimet usually catches most of it but there is a lot. I even get porn stuff that askimet catches.

    Reply

  6. laura
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 16:53:48

    A couple of years ago a local elderly lady lost something like $80,000 in a scam and we were supposed to feel sorry for her. First of all, she already had $80,000!!!! Why the hell did she think she needed more?? What on God’s earth was she going to spend it on? She should have been embarrassed to have that printed in our paper.

    I knew of an elderly man who used to enter contests, hundreds of them every week. His wife told me they were well off and he spent more on postage than you could imagine. He was constantly filling out contest forms and they never won anything. His whole retired life revolved around it. I guess when you get older and start losing those brain cells things go haywire. I hope to keep my brain cells for a little while longer or at least catch them when the fall out.

    Reply

  7. Hannah
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 17:16:23

    I hate those scams!! I have to admit this is the first time I have read one using God’s name to get money, but it sickens me! Unfortunately there will be people who fall for it (perhaps more so because of all the times they use the word “Christian” …) and that’s the saddest part, really.

    Also a HUGE hater of the ED ads!!! Enough already!! Everybody knows you can buy those drugs easily enough, everybody knows how they work … stop bombarding us!

    That’s what really got me about this E-mail is that they were trying to use Jesus’ name to scam people. That is so sick. Using any religion in any way to scam people is horrifying.

    Now that I know what ED stands for, yea, I hate those ads.

    Reply

  8. teeni
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 17:19:26

    Wow – I never had one of those emails but I’ve heard of them before. I’m so glad you know better and didn’t get taken advantage of. As for Laura above, I still would have felt bad for the old lady. It’s not our business what she was going to do with the money, possibly saving it for her kids and grandkids. She also may not have been doing it for the money, as she may actually have thought she was helping someone. Regardless, it was HER money and she was SCAMMED out of it. I don’t like anyone who takes advantage of the elderly. And these types of scammers do seem to target the elderly because they are easily confused and too trusting.

    You are right about the elderly being too trusting. They grew up in a time where you could trust people. My father almost got scammed on the phone once. Thank goodness I was there at work with him. I reported it to some government agency.

    Reply

  9. threeboys1mommy
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 17:54:08

    that picture is super creepy and haunting! DELETE JOAN! DELETE!!!!

    Which picture is creepy? I think they were all creepy in this post. But I guess scamming people is creepy too, eh?

    Reply

  10. thebeadden
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 18:29:29

    Joan, what a great idea, saying your husband sells it. I am going to use that one, thanks!

    As for how you would spend the money. I’m still laughing at that 🙂

    I’ve been using the husband one for years. Once I got a call trying to sell me a subscription to children’s books. I told the guy that my husband had stolen my children and taken them to South America and he was welcome to try and locate him and sell him the books.

    I almost wish I wasn’t on the do not call list. I used to have so much fun with telemarketers. When MCI used to call all the time trying to sell me phone service I used to tell them that I was moving to a remote island in the South Pacific that had no phone service.

    Reply

  11. tw
    Sep 09, 2008 @ 20:38:11

    I’ve had those scams, but not for a few years. Never on my personal email, only my work one. Maybe I do get them and my spam filter takes them out before I see them?

    I HATE those phone calls, especially as I am a person who finds it hard to say no. Fortunately now we have an unlisted phone number and don’t get them anymore.

    LOL, the last one. You are so funny, I just about spat my mouth full of coffee on the computer screen. 🙂

    It’s OK to spit on the screen. Just don’t spit on the keyboard. As you get older it gets easier to say no.

    Reply

  12. Levi Davila
    Sep 10, 2008 @ 09:44:40

    Almost 2009 and people fall on this… it’s a shame

    It is sad that people still fall for these scams.

    Reply

  13. javajunkee
    Sep 10, 2008 @ 17:21:14

    ok Im going to comment on the ready at any time…I just saw a commercial for this on tv last night. Have you heard the side effects for it? HOLY CRAP!
    And what made me and the dd bust up laughing was when they said “if you experience penile eractile for longer than 4 hours see your doctor” GEE YA THINK??? I asked my husband if he wouldn’t feel silly walking into the doctors office with a boner he had for 4 hours. ..and like he would even have to announce why he was there..be pretty obvious! I can hear the receptionist now..”DOC we got another one..!” Oh you been using cilas I see”

    oh my gosh! And then it says to ask your doctor if you are even healthy enough to have sex. Ok if you have to ask YOU PROBABLY AREN’T!
    The commercial had me cracking up

    OMG, that is so funny. You describing that commercial had me cracking up!!!

    Reply

  14. mrsvierkant
    Sep 10, 2008 @ 21:16:15

    I don’t feel bad hanging up/shutting doors/deleting emails. I didn’t ask them to contact me and I don’t want to deal with them. I used to be nice and humor them, but not anymore. LOL.

    Scamming: Some people keep calling asking about my credit card interest. Like I’m going to give you my credit card info. What am I stupid? And when I remind them that I’m on the do-not-call list they swear at me and hang up. Lovely. You’re not trying to scam me at all, are you? I’ve had several of these calls a month for a long time. And the number that comes up on caller ID is not a real number, either.

    Spam emails are awful too. They don’t even try anymore. LOL. The spelling is awful and so is the grammar.

    Don’t even get me started on the ED commercials, LOL.

    Okay, I’m done commenting now, LOL. 😉

    Great post my dear.

    Ha! Ha! I get the feeling you really, really don’t like telemarketers and scams. It really is so annoying. I used to be nice but I learned how to say no when I owned a business and would have people trying to sell me crap all day long. I also learned how to have fun with them too and to dish it right back. I had some guy try to sell me something at work and I told him before I would buy anything from him he would have to listen to me talk about my religious views first. He hung up so fast.

    Reply

  15. romi41
    Sep 11, 2008 @ 00:12:30

    I want to meet the guy who’s “always ready”, maybe that’s my soul-mate…lol 😉

    Ha! Ha! You may just be right. So now you need to hang out at the prescription counter at the drug store. 😉

    Reply

  16. odette
    Sep 11, 2008 @ 08:07:30

    i always get those million-dollar emails, and always labelled them as SPAM, so the address gets filtered and stops showing up at others’ emails. but it seems nothing is stopping them. 😦

    “What exactly does this mean? I pity the poor guy who is always ready. That’s like getting all dressed up with no where to go.”

    this is sooo funny joan, i had to laugh out loud. 😀 poor guy indeed!

    I’m glad you got a good laugh today. I got another million dollar e-mail today. This time for 15 million but they didn’t mention Jesus, thank goodness. That really annoyed me.

    Reply

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