Weight Watcher Saturday!! HooRah!!! And Toilets!!

Do you know there are actually people who fear toilets?  How the hell do you deal with that? I couldn’t even find a name for it.  I did find a forum and read a few people’s comments about their irrational fears of being sucked into a toilet, toilet germs (I might have that fear a little),  and various other toilet problems.

The National Phobics Society estimates at least four million Brits are affected – but the true number could be many more.  What do you think “Wonderful Di”?  Do you have friends afflicted with this fear in your beautiful England?

Ancient Hindu science texts say that toilets have
accumulated static electricity with them.

“Similar problems occur when insulating liquids, such as certain fuels, are pumped along pipes, and it is essential that strict grounding procedures are followed during the refueling of aircraft, ships, and other large vehicles.”

http://www.answers.com/topic/static-electricity

Some persons who are excessively sensitive to that
static electricity develop fear of toilets. Such
persons can go to the country side and try
in the open fields. They will know the difference.

Here is a check for it. Such persons will also have
fear of garbage trucks. The reason is, garbage
also contains static electricity.

As I read the stuff in red I’m thinking someone’s been drinking too much toilet water.

Anyway, this is all just stuff I was thinking about at weight watcher’s this morning. My wonderful leader was talking about dancing to help lose weight.  Let’s face it, I’m not going to be doing too much dancing in the near future so my mind wandered a little.   And you wonder why I call my blog “Whatever I Think”.

On a different note, I lost 2.6 pounds this week. I’m back on track.  Back to the dancing, we didn’t talk about pole dancing which is considered great exercise from what I hear.  Now I wonder if I could do that.  I’d have the pole to hang onto so I don’t fall on my ass.

I still think I’d end up on my ass!!!

OR,  should I settle for this when I get my new knees?  Is this more my style?

Such decisions to have to make.

They Finally Did It!! An Ass Airbag!!

Designed by the Japanese company Prop,  the protective airbags, placed behind the head and hips,  inflate in fractions of a second if a possible backwards fall is detected by the wearer.

Why didn’t I have one of these when I broke my ass 9 months ago.  Probably because the Japanese only came out with it this week.  Also because it costs $1400.00.  Now I thought the newscaster said it cost $14.95 but I think she screwed up because I did research on the net and it definitely is $1400.00.  At $14.95–YES– at $1400.00–NO–.  On second thought though,  my ass still hurts.  I’m thinking of having it X-Rayed. I know they say broken asses take a long time to heal but this is asinine (15th century word meaning an utterly dumbass thing).

I would have a good ass right now if I had that ass airbag on when I fell. I should sue them for not inventing it earlier and selling it to me cheaper.

Here is a must see video of how it works!!!

Unfortunately, after all is said and done, you fall forward and you’re screwed!!

Check This Out!! “Crazy Talk With Joan” at The Bead Den!!

The Bead Den has been working on a new program on her computer.  You take a still photo and make the lips move and give it facial expressions and then dub in the voice.  I let her use me as a test subject.  It is hilarious.  It is so funny to see my photo on You Tube but her voice coming out of it,  my lips moving and in sync with her voice and my eyes blinking.  Here is a link.  She calls it “Crazy Talk With Joan”.  It’s crazy alright but I love it.

I’ve been really busy this week trying to get all of Damon’s affairs in order so he can move to South Carolina. Now I find out he lost his debit card along with everything else. I’ve thought of just laminating everything and super-gluing it to his body like a tattoo.  We’ve also been hanging out together a lot.  I don’t know when I will see him again once he leaves.

I’ve been cooking up a storm.  I can’t believe how much 5 adults eat.  Especially when 3 of them are hungry men. I went to the grocery store yesterday with my brother and I bought broccoli for one meal. My brother asked me why I was buy so much.  Ha!  There wasn’t one drop left over. We had it with Jerk Beef on Jasmine Basmati rice.  I told my wasband it was named after him.  I’m glad he can take a joke.

Today I am cooking in the crock pot again.  This time it is Orange and Dijon Pork Chops.  It’s a new recipe.  I hope they like it.  Tough luck if they don’t!! 🙂

It hasn’t been cooking long so it doesn’t look that good yet!!

I do miss my routine though. I get up in the morning and my son is on the computer so no blogging for me.  I try to get on in the afternoon and the wasband is on.  I try to get on at night and the boys are in the living room watching sports or playing Texas Hold Em’.

I will miss my son when he leaves but I will look forward to my routine of blogging and hunting down dumbasses.  There will be a lot less of them now that the tourists are going home. That’s good in some ways but who can I laugh at.  Oh, the wasband is home during the week.  I always have him. Only kidding, Wubby!!

Updates! WW Sucked but…! Awards!

This is my 200th Post!!!

Just a quick update.  I am having a great time with my son.  He is doing wonderful. Last night we all went out to dinner.   Me, Damon, Sarah and her hubby, wasband and girlfriend–the whole family. It was a wicked good time. The bad thing is that I forgot my camera.

I gained 1.6 pounds at Weight Watchers last week.  It’s weird though.  I went to the meeting and got this renewed dedication to the weight loss cause.  Damon even came with me and I was able to introduce him to the ladies. Not that he has to lose weight.  He needs to gain and has put on 4 pounds since he came home.

I always get this wonderful feeling in the Autumn.  I get more energy and want to do more. I love this time of year.

I was awarded two awesome awards this week. The first one comes “JavaQueen”. She is the most awesome woman. She tells it like it is.  She makes me laugh, she makes me think OMG (acronym for I can’t believe she wrote that but I love it) and she is a true friend.

There’s like rules and stuff that come with this one that I will deal with later.

I also received an award from the other Java Mama, “javajunkee”. She is another one that tells it like it is. She doesn’t hold anything back.  I don’t drink coffee anymore but I love this coffee junkee.  This  comes with “Lucy” whom I adore.

I want to thank my two “Java Mamas” for these awards.  I feel privileged to be considered their friend. I hope someday we can hang out together.

BULLETIN:

Oh, I almost forgot Damon was in a car accident yesterday.  Thank goodness for seat belts and air bags. He was a passenger in a car that was going through a light that had just turned green but a truck ran the red light and the car Damon was in T-boned the truck.  Damon got one scratch on his arm and that’s all.  No one else was hurt either. It could have been so much worse. He was on his way home from playing Frisbee Golf. The 2006 Jaguar he was in was totaled.

Tonight we are having a BBQ with one of my daughter’s best friends and her family.  She is visiting from Florida and then in October will be here for 6 months while her hubby goes to Iraq.  She has one beautiful 17 month old little girl.  So while everyone goes to the Sports Bar to watch the Patriots Game this afternoon I will be grocery shopping and cleaning.

Damon and I at Wal-Mart! Includes a Short Video!

Damon and I went to the dreaded  Wal-Mart today because he has been sleeping on the floor without an air mattress so he decided to buy one so he could be a little more comfortable at night.  I hate shopping there but there are no stores left in town where you can buy an air mattress.

Damon took this short video of me on the cripple cart.

When Wal-Marts go bad!! Damon saw this in Alaska!

Damon took this photo of a black squirrel today as we were taking a ride.  We very seldom see them around here.

We took a nice ride and got to talk a lot.  We both had a good time.

The Registry of Motor Vehicles Sucks!!!! Get Human!!

I spent about 5 hours dealing with the registry of motor vehicles yesterday.  Damon has a Florida license which he lost (He loses everything.  He’s just like his father) .  We are trying to get him a Massachusetts driver’s license so he can just use my house as his main residence.  He travels around so much it’s crazy to switch his driver’s license every time he moves somewhere new.

We went to the local registry to see what is involved in getting a Massachusetts license.  After waiting in the queue for 45 minutes we were finally told that we needed a certified driving record from Florida, and two forms of ID.  Fortunately he has a passport but they want his social security card which of course he lost.

We went home and I proceeded to try to find the correct person to talk to in Florida to get the above driving record.  OMG ( Acronym for I hate those fucking telephone menus and I am going to murder some one soon.)  I was on the phone for over three hours going from one effin menu to one dumbass after another then another effin menu then another dumbass.  You’ll notice on my next video I have half the hair I used to.  The rest is on the floor next to my computer chair. I was pulling it out while listening to the worst music in the world as I sat there on hold.

Finally I was able to get the correct answer to my one simple question.  At one point a woman could find no record of Damon ever having a license in Florida.  I know he did because I got him a duplicate the FIRST time he lost it.

Now I have to deal with the social security aspect of the thing .  I hope his passport will be enough ID to get him a new card.  We will go there today.  Wish me luck. No, wish the person who waits on me luck.

Now to top it all off.  The Wasband has decided to get the minivan fixed and put it in Damon’s name.  To transfer the van to Damon we need the title which of course the wasband lost. Also the front plate was stolen in Buffalo.

This is the minivan.  Notice it is parked next to the rubbish and recyclables.  I hope the trash people  don’t take it by mistake.

Do you see a trend here?   I am left to fix this mess because the two of them combined couldn’t sort it out.  No offense to either one.  I love them both but I wish they would quit losing stuff. I still have my original social security card I got 43 years ago.  To the wasband’s credit, so does he.

Here is a link to a list of companies and how to avoid there menus and talk to a human (I hope they are human. We are probably outsourcing to some other planet and speaking to reptilian aliens.)

“Hello, May I help you?”

Home Again, Home Again!! Happy Birthday Dad!!!

The last time I saw my son was on December 27th, 2007.  It was a heartfelt reunion.  I have missed him dearly.  I got the biggest hug from him ever. Then he told me how thin I felt to him.  He drove all night to get here.  He likes to drive on long trips at night.  It took him about 10 hours because he made some stops to rest.  It’s about 500 miles.

His sister said he can stay at the house for a couple of days but that’s all.  Now he has to decide where to go next.  I think it will be towards South Carolina.   He managed to drive the minivan all the way home.  I’m amazed the thing made it.  The transmission is shot.  It’s going to have to be junked which will leave him without a vehicle when he leaves here.

Damon and Yoda–So happy to see each other!!

I took this photo this morning just after he got home.  It’s a little blurry because I got no sleep last night.  We had a good day today.  In the afternoon we went and got him lunch and went down to the beach and then took a ride and just talked.  He finally got so tired I had to take him home so he could finally get some sleep.

Today would be my father’s 94th birthday if he were still here.   Happy Birthday Dad!!!

I might be a little scarce over the next couple of days so I can spend some time with Damon.

What’s That Funky Smell?? Contest!! Odd Foods!!

I wrote a post on November 2, 2007 called “Smelling the Past”.

It was  only my 6th post.  Here’s the deal.  I have been getting major hits on that post for the past couple of weeks.  This is after not having a hit on it in months.  I have tried to trace back to see why but I can’t come up with anything.  It’s now my second most popular post.

I just wonder why so many people, all of a sudden, want to “smell my past”?

The contest is still open for naming my interview show.  I have decided not to be a judge because I want the choice to be totally impartial.  The Wasband and Sarah will judge.  I will hand them the list.  They won’t know whose entries belong to who.  That last sentence doesn’t sound right.  But you get my drift.

This has to be short and sweet because I have to go grocery shopping which I really don’t feel like doing today. This is what the kids will be eating this week if they don’t fix my washing machine.

First Course- check out the cholesterol!!

Afternoon Delight — Silkworm Pupae

Literally meaning pupa or chrysalis, beondegi are popular Korean street snacks, often dished out by the cupful to eager passers-by. The stewed and seasoned silkworm treats come highly recommended as bar bites. Next time you crave a quick mouthful on the go, grab a can of these crunchy chrysalises.

Forbidden Fruit — Durian

Durian fruit is a popular ingredient in its native Southeast Asia. It’s chock full of nutrients and minerals, and found in everything from soup to ice cream. The catch? It smells absolutely awful.

While the custard-like texture of the fruit’s edible interior is noted for its creamy, almond-sweet flesh, the scent is anything but. Its nauseating bouquet includes hints of rotten fish, fermented onions, overripe cheese and unwashed socks. The durian’s smell attracts hungry animals eager to devour the produce (effective for seed dispersion) but repels humans. Because of its stench, the fruit is commonly forbidden on airplanes, buses and subways.

The seasonal fruit is highly prized and expensive in Asia, but a rare find in the United States, although a quick scan at a local Asian market is likely to turn up a can or two.

Basket Case — Canned Bird’s Nest Drink

The Chinese have served bird’s nest soup, considered a delicacy, for hundreds of years. It’s made using the nests of swiftlets, or cave swifts. These avian homemakers regurgitate their gelatinous spit, creating a web-like superglue which forms their nests and attaches them to cave walls in Southeast Asia.

The nests are collected by hunters on precariously tall ladders and then dissolved into soup. Said to stimulate cell growth, raise libido and boost the immune system, these edible abodes are among the most expensive animal-food products consumed; They are rare, difficult to harvest and require a labor-intensive cleaning process. Don’t feel like dropping the coin to get a taste of the cure-all nectar? Pop a tab on the canned bird’s nest drink, and get your vitamins on the go.

Dessert–chocolate covered crickets.

Sounds good???

Video Interview With Myself # 3 and Weight Watchers Saturday!!

We will talk about Weight Watcher’s Saturday first.  I did lose weight but not a lot.  I lost .8 that is point 8 pounds which is very close to 1 pound so I am OK with this though I know I can do better. I am at my lowest weight since I started this at 344lbs. I now weigh 259.6.  So I need to lose 15.6 pounds to have my 100 pound party.  I’ve lost a total of 84.4 pounds.  It’s taken longer than I hoped for but on the other hand I did it and am still doing it.

Well here is my latest interview with answers to your questions.   Questions today are from Odette, The Bead Den, Mrs. Vierkant, and Red.

So on with the show!!!

SPECIAL BULLETIN!!!!

Well, I hope you enjoyed the show.  I’m thinking I should have a name for the show.  Maybe we should have a contest and the winner will receive a prize.  I think the prize will be a secret for right now ( because I can’t even think of a prize on such short notice.  I only came up with the idea 1 minute ago).  The judges will be myself, my daughter and the Wasband. They don’t know this yet but they will do it if they want to eat next week.  Oh, and don’t expect anything expensive like a new laptop.  If anyone gets a new laptop it’s going to be me.

Tomorrow I will ask the question “WHO THE HELL WANTS TO SMELL MY PAST?” And I sure hope someone has an answer.

Some Things I Don’t Understand…..

This isn’t going to be one of those posts about “why I don’t understand the state of the world” or any of that stuff ( I so much wanted to type “crap” but that would be so unpolitically correct, I couldn’t get myself to do it).

It’s not that the state of the world is crap, well, actually,  it sort of is,  but I get tired of hearing about it. I know it’s almost voting time but I am so tired of Obama, Hillary, Sarah (not my daughter, I never tire of her), and McCain and Obama’s running mate,  what’s his name that I am mostly just ignoring the whole thing.

I have other things that I don’t understand. They may not be of world importance but I don’t freakin’ understand them.  Like this whole acronym thing.  I now have a permanent link to www.acronymfinder.com, just so I can keep up.  I guess kids use them when they text a lot which I can barely do at all.  It takes me ten minutes just to text “Call Me”.  I might as well just dial the number and call the person myself.  It’s just he doesn’t always answer.

A lot of you guys people use DH.  Now I am thinking that is “dumbass husband”.  But I can’t find that one at acronym finder.  I suppose it could mean “darling husband”.  If it does than a lot of you gals are very lucky except I will never know which ones are referring to the dumbass or the darling.

So I put in a google search for “dumbass husband” and this photo comes up.

New York governor Eliot Spitzer and his wife, Silda, at a press conference after being linked to a prostitution ring.  Dumbass?  Yea, I would say so.

Now If I type DW, will you know who I am referring to?  But then you will have to guess:  Am I referring to him as a dumbass or darling or dear or dirtbag?   You will never know.  Some of you won’t even know what the W stands for if you are just reading my blog for the first time.

Another Wasband self portrait.  I will tell you, I would never refer to him as a dirtbag. He is so not a dirtbag.

My top ten things I don’t understand today.  It changes daily.

10. Why are there so many grackles outside and are they actually talking to each other and if they are,  WTF are they talking about?

9. Why don’t my kids pick stuff up off the floor when they see it?  Is it actually possible that I am the only one that sees this stuff that I let stay on the floor for days just to see if they will pick it up?  Give me a break, I have a bad back for God’s sake.  I don’t want to fall ass over teakettle again just picking up a piece of rubbish.

8. Why do they call getting older the “golden years”?   Honestly, they (whoever they are that is in charge of coming up with these little catch phrases) could have come up with something a little more realistic like the “forgetful years”.

“The keys to a high-quality life after age 60 are health, money, and having a meaningful life, a Canadian study shows”. Really?  You could have fooled me.

7. Why do cats do that kneading thing ( I call it “making muffins” ) on my stomach or my best furniture?  OK, I just looked it up and there are a couple of answers for that here. I don’t know if I believe them because when I look into Yoda’s eyes when he is doing it I know he is just trying to annoy me. So I guess I DO understand this one but I am not deleting it after writing all this and doing all this research. (all 2 minutes of it).

6.  Why can’t I remember conversations from yesterday?  Oh yea, right, it’s the “golden years”.  F*#^ that!!!!

5.  I don’t understand “obliviates”.  Those are the people you see around town that are totally oblivious to everyone around them.  I know I am oblivious to my surroundings on occasion. Everyone is,  but all the time?  If you watch them long enough, you know that it is all the time for some of them.  Do they just not care about the rest of us?  Are they just dumbasses?  Are they just arrogant?  They annoy me especially when I am driving.  The ones that don’t use blinkers need a good caning.  And what about the ones that take a left but go way over to the right to do it so you can’t pass by them while they are at a stop waiting to turn.  What are they thinking?  Oh, and the ones in the grocery store pushing their wagons like they are the only ones in the store. Thank goodness I am a good cripple cart driver or they would have mowed me down ages ago.  Oh, I have to add this.  The oblivious parent!!!  Do you not know your child is running rampant through the store?  I don’t understand You!!!!!

4.  Oh, of course, how could I forget.  Well that’s easy it’s the “golden years”.  ACRONYM : Alphabetic Collocation Reducing Or Numbing Your Memory.

3.  Why oh why do I eat when I am not hungry?  This weight loss thing would go so much faster if I didn’t.  Now who is the dumbass or dumbpig in this case?

2.  Why haven’t they discovered “time travel”.  Or have they????? And who the hell is “They” that I keep referring to?  Muldaur and Scully, I need you to answer a few questions for me.

Huh?

1.  Why is there such a mess on my the DW’s computer desk?  I better clean it up before he gets home tonight.  It’s a week’s worth of crap.  Shows off my organizational skills,  eh?

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