Umbrellas, Canes and Hire the Handicapped!! More on Cane-fu Fighting!

Peter Parkour gave me an idea in one of his comments.  I am actually going to look into this product and possibly buy one.

The Umbrella Cane.

Good for the rain and good for the sun and good as a weapon when I become a master at Cane-fu fighting.

Or should I go for the sword cane?  Or would I just end up stabbing myself?

I do have one worry about Cane-fu fighting.  Are we going to see young kids carrying around canes because they make good weapons?  Will we see cane-fu fighting in the streets between the elderly cripples and young thugs?  I have to master this soon to protect myself.  The cane jab looks painful.

Here is a link to a hilarious video about senior cane-fu fighting.

“Cane-fighting converts say one of the best things about the cane is that it’s a legal weapon that can be carried anywhere, unconcealed. “No one will tell you can’t take it on an airplane,” says Victor Cushing, a 68-year-old who teaches women’s self-defense at the University of Scranton, in Pennsylvania.”

(Ganked from

I also thought I should hang around festivals, theaters and events and hire myself out. I could even put an ad in the paper.  My clients would pay for my ticket and I would let them use my handicapped placard so they would get great parking and great seats.  I would get to see concerts and Imax movies for free. I wonder if that is illegal.  Lazy people might even want me to go on vacation with them. There are perks to being handicapped. Travel with me and people let you cut in line, you get great seats in restaurants.  The possibilities are endless. I just have a sneaking suspicion it’s not very ethical. But then again once I master cane-fu fighting I can become a bodyguard.


24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Peter Parkour
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 11:56:02

    “I just have a sneaking suspicion it’s not very ethical.”

    Who in their right mind is going to question the ethics of a cane-fu master? 😉 If I’m ever in the area I’m picking you up and taking you everywhere I go. 😛 No, not just because I’m lazy, but because I love you. 🙂 My being lazy is a mere coincidence I assure you. 😉

    I’m dealing with a crappy connection right now, so I’m gonna have to catch your funny video another time.

    Thanks for the linky love, Joan. 😀

    Ha! Ha! I could protect you and Bunny at all the truck stops. I mean, every time you watch a movie, crappy stuff happens at truck stops. Didn’t the first Terminator show up at a truck stop? I love you too, Spidey. We may just have to come up with a movie about “Cane-Fu Master”.


  2. Just a Mom
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 12:10:12

    I love your new business idea! You could call it “Cane and Able” 🙂

    I absolutely love the name “Cane and Able” That is perfect.


  3. birdpress
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 13:35:31

    You know what you should invent? A cane lighter! Like those long firestarter lighters people use to light stoves or fireplaces, only really long and hidden in your cane. You can light someone’s cigarette from across the room. Then you can smack them in the head with your cane for smoking indoors.

    Or how a bout a Swiss Army Cane? You could hide all sorts of tools and things in the cane that you could pull out one at a time. It would come in very handy.

    Swiss Army Cane is an awesome idea. It could even have a lighter as one of the tools. I like the idea of smacking people in the head for smoking indoors. I have to go check Swiss Army’s website to see if they’ve already got one. If they do I’m buying it.


  4. teeni
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 13:57:34

    Aw, Peter stole my words!!! I was going to say I’d take you out all the time just because I know it would be a good time and who cares about the good seats! Boy that Spidey is fast! LOL.

    Our Spidey is very fast. He must have Bunny driving a lot so he can play on the computer.


  5. museditions
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 14:32:49

    I would go for the umbrella cane. I love you but the thought of you out there with a sword cane (with all those dumbasses around) makes me shudder. {{shudder}}.
    That swiss army cane, though, that’s a thought!
    Love the “Hire the Handicapped” banner! 😉

    Yes, me and a sword–not a good idea. I’m always cutting myself on the cooking knives I use and I was actually thinking of having them sharpened. Maybe that’s not such a good idea either. I like the Swiss Army cane idea too.


  6. duskydi
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 14:47:56

    You made me laugh out load with you saying that Lazy people may like you to holiday with them. Teeni made me smile with her comment the other day about blogolimpics in Cape Cod. I had visions of you being in all the races. well you and your wheelchair.

    The whole compatition was about what we could do with Joan and the wheelchair in my head. Three legged races pushing you etc etc, I came up with quiet a list.

    What about two little motorised walking sticks we don’t call them canes, just canes in schools. one in each hand and a cushioned arm rest.


    I love the three legged races pushing me. That’s too funny. I can imagine it now. I also like the idea of motorized walking sticks.



  7. threeboys1mommy
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 15:01:09

    I want ring side seats for elderly cripple and young thug!

    It could be a whole new Olympic event. I think the elderly cripples would cripple the young thugs!!


  8. Hannah
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 16:23:44

    A sword cane!! That thing looks lethal but wow, you would be a force to be reckoned with!

    I would be a force if I didn’t stab myself first with it. I’m a bit of a klutz.


  9. CuriousC
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 19:56:41

    You aren’t a dumbass = YOU’RE A BADASS! with your cane-fu fightin’

    I think we have the name of a movie here “Badass Cane- Fu Fighter” starring Cane-Fu Master Joanharvest…


  10. kaylee
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 20:50:39

    OMG……Joan, I must meet you when I come down there 😉

    Just tell me when and where!!!


  11. sheng
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 20:53:40

    I better practice myself doing any of those cane0fu fighting. I need them in cases of emergencies. Hehehe.

    I think Cane-fu fighting is going to be a new way of defending ourselves. Everyone will be carrying around canes.


  12. tw
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 23:33:00

    Hee hee, think you would make an excellent bouncer (security/bodyguard) and you are right you would have the bonus of seeing concerts for free!

    That sword cane looks a tad dangerous to me.

    I never thought about being a bouncer. That could be fun and good for lots of videos. I’d probably be able to keep the peace better than a big bouncer guy. Who’s going to try to fight a little (well, soon to be little) old lady in a wheelchair with a cane in her hand. Plus no one messes with Mama.

    Yes, I think me and a sword is not a good idea.


  13. thebeadden
    Aug 19, 2008 @ 23:51:42

    Hahaha! Hiring yourself out at concerts and events. What an entrepreneur you are. I bet there would be takers too! Front row seating and all.

    I wonder, does the NHL do that? Front row seats for the play-offs? Holy crap, I’m going to kidnap you for a game or two. LOL!

    Wheelchair people get all the good seats everywhere. You won’t even need to kidnap me. I will go willingly.


  14. Emerald
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 09:34:46

    Oh what a tough choice! The umbrella cane is probably more practical. After all, it’s likely going to rain water more often than men (of the attacking variety…requiring swordage). But the sword does sound like much more fun. However, is the temptation to use it at random worth it? I’d personally get myself in trouble pretty quickly I’d think 😉

    You and me both. I’d be trying to stab bad drivers from my car window. Probably not a good idea. And you’re right –the odds of rain are higher than the odds of an attacking mugger. At least I hope so. I’d be very disappointed to find out that’s not the case.


  15. duskydi
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 11:51:00

    Hi Joan again,

    I just want to say I think you’d make a really fun bodyguard. Can I ask you a question please. Would would you like to be bodyguard to ?


    What a good question. I would think it would be fun to be a bodyguard to a musician, a really good one. That way I’d get to see a lot of concerts and travel around everywhere. I would probably pick Xavier Rudd. I love his music. He does all the festivals too. He is from Austrailia but is in England today. He is going to be in Boston which is right near me and I am going to try to get the wasband to take me.



  16. kaylee
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 13:43:55

    wait, tellyou when and where….you mean i aint too crazy for you? 😉

    No one is too crazy for me because I am the crazy one. 😉


  17. jeanny
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 13:47:42

    You really have great things in mind lolz. Go on with the Cane-Fu fighting you might be a black belter 🙂

    Yes, I plan to continue on with Cane-Fu fighting. 😉


  18. Joy
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 15:47:50

    God Joan, you are so funny. I love your sense of ha-ha!

    Thank you, Joy. I may not be good at a lot of things but I am good at laughing, especially laughing at myself


  19. writerchick
    Aug 20, 2008 @ 17:44:13

    Okay, now you’re scaring me Joanie. I can see it now, a reality show called, Cane Fu Mama, starring Joan Harvest and her Lethal Cane. LOL.

    That would make a great reality show. You could take 10 elderly women Cane-Fu masters with black belts and see how many thugs they can apprehend. Whoever gets the most wins a lot of money. That would be me.


  20. Trackback: On With The Cane-Fu! « I Married A Country Boy
  21. Dustin
    Aug 21, 2008 @ 16:11:59

    Heres a good idea for an invention – The Handicapped Placard Shock System. What it does, when people like you let people who don’t actually need the placard use it, It shocks them and and you. Than after its done shocking you, it tells you your an idiot. What do you think?

    I think it is an awesome idea. I hate it when people let others use their handicapped placards. Obviously, I was joking. I am sure you must have caught on to that fact. I keep a sense of humor about my handicapped situation because as you well know–“Laughter Is The Best Medicine”. If you read back through my posts you will notice that I volunteer for our local Police Department and am able to give out tickets to people who park illegally in handicapped parking lots. When I am with my daughter and sister, neither one of them will park in a handicapped spot if I wait in the car (probably because they know I’d give them a ticket). They have legs and they don’t mind using them.

    Thanks a lot for stopping by with your great invention. By the Way, I love your Avatar.


  22. Emerald
    Aug 21, 2008 @ 20:13:07

    solution! umbrella cane AVEC le spike! best of both worlds. now if i could just gain world domination, i’d fix everything else too. 😉

    I detect some French here. Since I am French Canadian I know what avec means. And yes that would work. Probably less dangerous than a double edge sword. Well, I have always wanted to be Queen of the Universe. So far that has not come to fruition but I am working on it.


  23. mrsvierkant
    Aug 21, 2008 @ 22:32:36

    I like the umbrella cane. And now I have the song “Kung-Fu fighting” in my head, except that I keep hearing “Cane-Fu fighting.” LOL!

    Ha! Ha! You are the second person who is humming “Cane-Fu Fighting” to that song. I think the umbrella cane would be a lot more useful and less dangerous in my hands. I don’t want to cane someone with a sword by mistake.


  24. romi41
    Aug 25, 2008 @ 21:19:16

    Hahahaha…cane-fu fighting I love that! And you NEED to get the sword-cane so you can protect me from all those creepy men! 😉

    Yes, I definitely need to protect you from the creeps. I just hope with the sword cane I don’t stab myself or you by mistake. 😉


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