Video Camera Doldrums! Where Are All The Dumbasses When You Want Them? Includes Practice Video #4!

So I finally get a video camera from my daughter (her old one from2003) which works fine for me. I have taken it with me everyday since I got it and guess what?  That’s right folks, not a dumbass in sight EXCEPT when I am at the wheel of my car.  Then, every dumbass in town is out.  Only I don’t multitask when I drive.  NO, NO, NO, not a good idea for me.  It takes all my concentration to drive and not be a dumbass myself.

I could have gotten great footage this week because town is packed.  There are tourists everywhere. I have seen people do things with their cars that I didn’t think were possible.  But I don’t dare drive and film with all the traffic. I barely talk on my cell phone while driving.

I THINK WE PROBABLY DIDN’T NEED ALL THAT RESEARCH DONE TO FIGURE THIS OUT. YOU LOOK AWAY FROM THE ROADWAY AND BAD THINGS ARE GOING TO HAPPEN.

This is a true story.  I saw one woman go up a one way on the left hand side with her right blinker on and go straight. WTF?

Now we come to Dumbass confessions.  I locked the keys in my car with the car running when I went to the grocery store with my brother. I still don’t know how it happened.

NOTICE HE CALLED HER MA’AM AND DIDN’T EVEN SPELL IT RIGHT.

I had forgotten to return a propane tank so I told my brother to wait in the car and I would go do it.  I decided to start the car because it was really hot in it and I wanted my brother to have the air conditioner on.  My brother hadn’t gotten into the car yet.  He was returning his shopping cart.  I leaned into the car, started the engine, closed the door and all the doors to the car were now locked. I went into the store to get a broom and sneak it through the window, which I had left cracked.  My plan was to use the broom handle to press down on the lock on the opposite door and it would open.  My brother decided he could fit his arm through the window faster than what I was doing and he managed to get his arm in and unlock the door.  Only now his arm was stuck in the window.  Talk about a dumb ass.  He asks me how is he going to get his arm out.  Well I said ” Duh, I’ll open your door and roll down the window”.  He said “Oh”.

Then I thought, why wasn’t I filming all this drama.  Duh, my camera was locked in the car.

So I guess I should just start filming myself doing dumbass stuff.

ME AT THE BEACH.  YOU CAN SEE THE BRIDGE IN THE BACKROUND.

PRACTICE VIDEO #4

18 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. birdpress
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 20:16:26

    Wow, you should get your own show! 😉

    I wonder what the neighbors think of you pointing a video camera at their house?

    I have locked my keys in my car countless times, but fortunately never while it was running! I’m glad you were able to get them out without breaking anything or calling a locksmith!

    I’m very discreet when I video neighbor’s houses. I do it when they’re not home.

    Reply

  2. Hay
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 22:27:53

    Lol! Opps. Hope you get a few dumbass captures soon!

    Oh, I’ll get them. I’ll be like the paparazzi only I will only stalk dumbasses and not celebrities.

    Reply

  3. thebeadden
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 22:42:01

    Sorry about the keys!

    This is just great, Joan.
    I’d love to do some video’s but I hate the sound of my voice! You have a nice one. I love your accent.

    Have fun with your new toy and take care. 🙂

    I still think it’s everyone else who has the accent. 😉 Actually I’ve always hated my voice but I’m old enough not to care anymore. I didn’t say I was elderly, just old enough.

    Reply

  4. kaylee2
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 23:06:10

    Just dont put me in your dumbass video 😉 I am coming that way next summer after all 🙂

    I don’t know if I can promise that. If you come out this way you’ll never know where I’ll be with my camera. 😉

    Reply

  5. c
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 23:07:22

    This post made me laugh and laugh!
    And i loved hearing you talk in your test video. It’s like we were standing together, looking out of your window. 🙂

    That’s why I like videos because I can bring you all with me. You were next to me laughing at the birds and the rain.

    Reply

  6. Hannah
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 23:23:05

    Love your practice video! It’s so cool to be able to literally see out your window 🙂 Makes it feel like you’re not on the other side of the world 🙂

    It’s hard to believe you are so far away because we’ve made a connection that brings us so close together.

    Reply

  7. Peter Parkour
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 23:36:50

    I’m so jealous. I wanna post a video. Of what… I don’t know. 😛 Plus I hate the sound of my own voice. I’ve been told I have a nice sounding voice, but there’s something about hearing my own voice that I find very unsettling. You mentioned the bird that flew up right at the end of your video and one had flown away right at the very beginning. I think they’re watching you. Hmmm…??? 😛 As for the keys locked in the running car… I think we’ve all managed to do that at some time. I know the wife and I have. We’ve even managed to lock our keys in the truck a couple of times since we’ve been on the road, but never while it was running. Just today (really) I put an extra key on my shoe, because I figure I never get out of the truck without my shoes. 😉 Yeah, I’m cool like that.

    I don’t much like to hear my voice either but WTF I like to talk. I know the damn squirrels are watching me. They probably have the birds working with them. That’s a good idea about the key in the shoe. You are wicked cool. I wear sandals. I suppose I could use duct tape and tape one to myself. Being a trucker you must see dumbass drivers all the time.

    Reply

  8. javajunkee
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 00:46:42

    ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
    Oh girl you’ve got to get your own show on tv. I want you to learn how to ZOOM and get a close up of your neighbors!
    Oh my gosh you crack me up!

    These new neighbors across the street are actually very tame. I wish the old ones were back. The police were there all the time because they use to have fights with their next door neighbors. Screaming scary fights that I could have videotaped. Sarah and I were always spying on them.

    Reply

  9. The Vinyl Villager
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 09:52:10

    Im glad to know Im not the only one who has locked their keys in the car while it was running.

    I did that once, and luckily had left the sunroof open…so I got in that way. For the next two years, I had to drive that little car with a dent the size of my butt on the roof….

    Ha! Ha! I can just picture that. If I had to climb in the sunroof I’d get stuck halfway for sure. Now that would make good comedy.

    Reply

  10. Just a Mom
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 10:31:06

    I feel your pain with the driving tourists. We live near the Johnson Space Center here in Houston and every summer it is like a flock of dumbasses!
    I love how North Easterners call everything “wicked cool!”

    “a flock of dumbasses!” I love it. Now that is wicked cool!!

    Reply

  11. dropofkim
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 10:36:05

    Wicked cool! Oh Joan, you are a trip! Love the videos, can’t wait to see more. Don’t ever leave without it because you know that is when all the good stuff happens. Happens to me every time my camera is at home and now nobody believes me about the monkey riding the camel through the corn fields.

    OK, I think I need to know more about the monkey riding the camel through the corn fields. Don’t leave me hanging.

    Reply

  12. theramblinghousewife
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 11:22:54

    Can’t wait for more dumbass videos.

    There is seriously something to all of this dumbass stuff!!

    Love it! 🙂

    Oh, I am on a dumbass roll. My next post is about three awful dumbass things I did when the kids were little.

    Reply

  13. thegirlfromtheghetto
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 14:21:58

    Hell, I locked my keys in a running car twice. Dumbass alert. Ok, you are so funny with that camera, and I love your little accent. I hate my miswestern accent, all Ahs and very flat sounding. Can’t wait to see more video soon!

    You’ll find out about my second time doing it in my next post along with some other dumbass stuff I’ve done.

    Reply

  14. CuriousC
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 17:40:11

    too funny. wicked cool bush. My hydrangea won’t bloom aANY flowers and you try to kill yours and it has 4 (from what I can tell?) blooms?!?! I can’t believe I watched that and laughed the whole way. sigh. You’ve got power, Ms. Joan Harvest.

    Two years ago we had to have a new septic system put in. It had to be moved from our backyard to the front yard because the town didn’t want it near our vernal pool plus the one we had didn’t pass title 5 in Massachusetts. So they dug up my whole front yard and threw all the bushes in a pile. They sat in a dead pile for 1 1/2 years. This was done in November. This spring my son-in-law notices something growing out of the pile and plants it and voila, a freakin’ hydrangea. It ended up with 6 blooms. Wicked Cool!!

    Reply

  15. Wendy
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 22:27:02

    Loved your video, and your hydrangea. And your cock’s comb, that’s what those are, right? The ones that look like they should be underwater, or you’ve grown them in a glass from crystals?

    Speaking of multi-tasking while driving, I don’t either. But this funny: I was looking for Barbara once and I got Emily on the phone and she said B was out. So I said to Emily, “Give me your mom’s cell phone number…oh wait…maybe I shouldn’t call her when she’s driving.” And Emily said, “<emWelllllll…we don’t really ever call her cell phone. We’re too scared she’ll answer.”

    Sarah and I had no clue what any of the flowers were that we bought for the window boxes. Oh Lordy, Barbara should never ever talk on her cell phone while driving. No, No, No. That is so funny that Emily said that.

    Reply

  16. Wendy
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 22:29:36

    The “Wellll” was supposed to be in italics for emphasis but I screwed up. 🙂

    Oh well!

    Reply

  17. kaylee2
    Jul 19, 2008 @ 23:08:52

    THATS OKAY CAMERAS DONT SCARE Me 😉

    Good, cause you never know where I’ll be taking candid photos of strangers.

    Reply

  18. teeni
    Jul 20, 2008 @ 01:30:56

    LOL. It looks like the practice video worked just fine. I’m looking forward to what you will come up with for future videos!

    Hydrangeas are beautiful, aren’t they? There are tons of them in the Azores – all different colors. I will be posting pics of them soon or links to pics somewhere.

    That must have been a beautiful place to visit. We have a lot of Portuguese folks here so I am always hearing about someone visiting the Azores and how great it is.

    I’m on a constant lookout for things to video but so far I’m not finding anything good but I will.

    I love hydrangeas. The one they dug up when I had my septic system put in was gorgeous. At least I have it’s baby.

    Reply

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