When Do People Consider Themselves The E Word!!

ELDERLY

Yea, you heard me. Is it when you start getting mail from AARP?  I won’t open up that crap.  I chuck it. Is it when you get barraged about buying life insurance?  Is it when you have to say “WHAT” four times before you actually hear what someone is saying?  Does it have to do with a certain age?  Like when you’re 62 you are automatically elderly because you can collect Social Security.  Is it when your memory starts failing you?

I want to know if I am freakin’ elderly.  Is it when young dudes call you Ma’am?

Noun 1. ma'amma’am – a woman of refinement; “a chauffeur opened the door of the limousine for the grand lady”

grande dame – a middle-aged or elderly woman who is stylish and highly respected
madame – title used for a married Frenchwoman
adult female, woman – an adult female person (as opposed to a man); “the woman kept house while the man hunted”

I would rather be called almost anything other than Ma’am.  And if anyone ever offers me a senior citizen discount I’ll cane them. I’d rather pay more than be called a senior citizen.  Oh, and then we come back to the politically correct term, get this–a citizen of advanced years. WTF?

I wonder if you are considered elderly when you have to wear paper towels as a bib cause you spill on your T-shirts a lot. Oh, please tell me no.

Or is it when you start wearing clothes that are a little inappropriate.

Or is it when you are willing to spend $150 on some cream that’s supposed to get rid of fine lines and huge wrinkles.

Or is it all in your head?

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23 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Hayley
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 17:11:06

    YIKES! That outfit is something!

    Yea, when I am finally thinner that is not one of the outfits I plan on wearing.

    Reply

  2. Little Miss
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 17:49:01

    OMG, if it’s when you use a paper towel as a bib, I guess I”m already elderly. Hell, my mom at 88 doesn’t call herself elderly. I’m always going to be 35. That’s what I say. I tell my daughters as they get older that they are just catching up with me and someday soon, we will be the same age.

    I think my daughter is much more mature than I am. She thinks so too. 😉

    Reply

  3. Little Miss
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 17:49:27

    PS, much prefer your new layout. I like the brighter, cheerier look, but that’s me.

    I’m glad you like the new layout. I like the idea of putting my own photos in the header. Though the current photo is one of the wasband’s.

    Reply

  4. Hannah
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 17:50:32

    Well technically, “elderly” is over 65. But why are people eligible for the Senior Citizen meals at Denny’s when they turn 55??!
    I do think age is a state of mind, and you shouldn’t HAVE to call yourself elderly if you don’t feel like it!
    I want to always be young at heart. Growing old scares me a little, but mostly because of the perception others will have of me once I’m “old”, if you know what I mean?

    I will never be called elderly or any of those old words. I plan on staying young forever. My body might not totally cooperate but it’s all in your head anyway as to how old you are and I am only 24 years old. 😉

    Reply

  5. Peter Parkour
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 18:33:32

    Nice new look, but your meez looks like she’s feeling a bit down in her back. You feeling alright lady? I hope all is well.

    I think you’re elderly as soon as you feel you are elderly. It’s a state of mind, not just body. You have a long way to go. 😉

    My meez is acting. She is just pretending to be elderly. Tomorrow she will be dancing. I agree with you totally. My family is still waiting for me to grow up and it’s never going to happen.

    Reply

  6. birdpress
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 18:50:20

    Oh, wow, look at your new layout! Very cool!

    I don’t think Ma’am equals elderly at all. I call clients ma’am sometimes and I have had people call me ma’am and I’m not elderly. I think it is a respectful way of addressing a woman whose name you don’t know. A little nicer than, oh I don’t know, “bitch”?

    Let’s define elderly as when you lose your sense of humor. That way I doubt you will ever be considered elderly!

    I’m just not used to being called ma’am. I’m used to being called Mom by just about everyone I know. I suppose calling someone ma’am is definitely more respectful than saying “Hey bitch, can you wait on me?”. Though sometimes that is tempting.

    Well, if we define elderly as when you lose your sense of humor I’ve got no worries. I even make myself laugh when I’m alone.

    I’m glad you like the new layout. I can change the header photo which is cool. I’m using one of the wasband’s bird photos for now.

    Reply

  7. c
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 19:57:03

    Love your new header, Noni. And your page looks so cool and clean. Noice!

    Your post made me laugh! But i think the subject is quite deep. i don’t want to be elderly, but why is being old considered such a horror? Then again, i wouldn’t consider you a ma’am either. Ever. You are way to fun and vibrant and luminous to be elderly…

    Which takes me back to how we’ve gotten it into our heads that older means something different than having lived through more, the beauty of life knowledge, having wisdom to impart, depth, richer understanding and so on.

    Why is our gray, so to speak- feared not only by us but by all?

    “older means something different than having lived through more, the beauty of life knowledge, having wisdom to impart, depth, richer understanding and so on.”

    You hit the nail on the head. We don’t become elderly or older, just more experienced. We can age in years but be young in our thinking yet still learning all the time.

    I’ve always hung out with my daughter’s friends. I was with one of her friends about 10 years ago. He and I went to the video store to rent a movie. He was about 18 and I would have been in my late forties. He met some guys there and politely introduced me as his friend. We are still friends. He and his wife live just up the street. My daughter’s friends see me as an equal not an old lady. Thank goodness or I would have to cane them.

    Reply

  8. Little Miss
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 20:14:35

    Hey, and about your header… Did your wasband take that photo?

    Yes, that’s one of the wasband’s photos, one of my favorites.

    Reply

  9. shornsheep
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 20:24:55

    Well I abhor those ageist terms they use – all of them. To me it is a state of mind. Chronilogical age is irrelevant to me. My 92 year old g-ma is younger of mind and of heart than a lot of people 50 years younger than her.

    Oh yeah, I do quite like the term “greys”. That’s ’cause I love those wee aliens a la Roswell. You know the ones with the big black almond shaped eyes? You can call me that in a few years time I wont mind at all.

    I’m with you all the way. It’s all how you feel in your head. I feel very,very, young and plan on being like your g-ma. Yea, ” I’m a “grey” and you better not give me crap about it.” That’s what I’ll tell anyone who gives me crap about my age.

    Reply

  10. teeni
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 21:33:17

    Well, that’s a good question. I don’t know how to answer that one. I think you are elderly when you are so old that you can’t care for yourself any more. Then you are elderly. Because those nursing homes are not filled with young people. They are filled with the elderly. At least that’s what they say. I actually think I like “old folk” better than the term “elderly.” But I love old folk no matter what you call them. My grandma was one after all. LOL. And I hope it isn’t when you need a paper towel bib because I could use one of those now.

    I use paper towel bibs all the time. That’s how I keep my T-shirts stain free. Well, you’re right about one thing, nursing homes are not filled with young people. I’m now thinking if I am of sound mind when I am older everyone can just call me “Queen of Everything”. If I am not of sound mind they can call me whatever the hell they want cause I won’t care anyway.

    Reply

  11. kaylee2
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 21:49:58

    ELDERELY? WHO THE FUcK IS ELDERLY AROUND HERE? Just came by to say Hi!

    No one is elderly around here!! How are you doing?

    Reply

  12. thebeadden
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 23:32:09

    Joan. don’t you remember that we are NEVER going to grow up! 🙂 Age may be a number, but it’s all in the mind. Besides, just look at your face on your birthday, I see cheer and youth….even a spot of cheekiness… 🙂
    There’s no “senior” in you!

    Yes, I actually do remember which proves I am not elderly because I remember!!! I’m never going to be a senior or join the AARP even if you do save money on stuff.

    Reply

  13. mrsvierkant
    Jul 15, 2008 @ 23:34:38

    Hey love the new layout!

    Elderly? You? You’re the last person I’d call elderly, LOL.

    “Ma’am” doesn’t bother me too much. “Miss” irritates the hell outta me.

    I do think it is a state of mind. Even when my grandpa was sick and frail, I never thought of him as elderly, because he always seemed young. I want to be like that.

    I’m glad you like the new layout. I was bored today so figured I would change it. I want to be like your grandpa to0–always seeming young.

    Reply

  14. CuriousC
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 08:04:39

    Ya know, I have been teaching PC and email concepts to the youngin’s at the Home for the ‘AGED’ and one of my dearies is 91. She’s terrific – and complained that “this nonsense makes me feel like a lunatic 5 year old!” and I said, “yea! isnt’ it great?!”

    Ha! Ha! That’s the attitude! “youngin’s at the Home for the ‘AGED'” I love that. I think it’s great that you are doing that.

    Reply

  15. michaelm
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 09:53:11

    this post reminds me of my mother-in-laws favorite saying: “I’m so old I don’t even buy green bananas anymore.”
    I do like the can of “Spray on Youth”
    I can think of a few spots that need spraying right now. :mrgreen:

    ~m

    OMG, your mother-in-law sounds great. I could use a little of that spray on stuff too.

    Reply

  16. Just a Mom
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 11:13:24

    “Elderly” is just a state of mind. My grandmother was elderly, not because she was my grandmother though. She was “elderly” even when she was young! My dad was just like her. My mom on the other hand had the Peter Pan syndrome, which I think I inherited a little of.

    That’s a good point. I’ve seen some “elderly” 40 year olds. I definitely have the Peter Pan syndrome. I’m never going to get old if it kills me.

    Reply

  17. boundandgags
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 13:07:21

    I know 18 year olds who act elderly and 70 year olds who don’t. What’s funny is they do both tend to move in the same slow, hips made of cake frosting fashion. So, although some physical aging comes with the territory, so much of it is in your head.

    “move in the same slow, hips made of cake frosting fashion” Now I can picture that. I just wish my body was where my head is at.

    Reply

  18. The Vinyl Villager
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 15:11:40

    Im not sure if this applies to women…
    but for men…you know you are elderly when you buy elastic waist pants.

    Especially when men pull them up to their chin. I used to wear the elastic ones but now that I’ve lost so much weight I can wear regular pants now with zippers and belts. So I guess that means I’m getting younger too. YAY!!!

    BTW, Welcome. I’ve seen you around other blogs. Thanks for stopping by.

    Reply

  19. Moonbeam McQueen
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 17:42:30

    I’m going to bypass elderly altogether and head straight on into loony– polyester pants, leopard skin blouses, too much rouge and fake orange hair. I plan to embrace my old lady-ness and wreak havoc on the world.

    In the south, they start calling you “ma’am” when you’re about nine.

    Oh, I am with you all the way. I think I’ve already hit loony. I’m just waiting to fit into the right clothes. I love the idea of wreaking havoc too.

    Reply

  20. Red
    Jul 17, 2008 @ 00:13:55

    when someone calls me ma’am, i correct them right quick and tell ’em that aint my name. I dont like ma’am, i dont use it to refer to anyone else either.
    it just sounds tooo ooooold.

    I don’t like to be called Mrs. B either. All my kid’s friends have always called me Mom for about the last 14 years. Even some of their parents still call me Mom or Ma. When someone yells out Mom in the grocery store I always turn around and half the time it’s someone calling out to me. That’s small town livin’.

    Reply

  21. museditions
    Jul 17, 2008 @ 02:45:16

    Ma’am is the chick equivalent of Sir, right? How do you like Sir? About that AARP mail: they start sending it to you when you are only 49 1/2 because you can join when you’re 50. 50! They say 50 is the new 40, and 40 is the new 30 so that means 50 is really 30 and you can join AARP before you are old enough to run for president. Of course, if you WANT to run for president, you have already proven your looniness, too. I’m pouting just a bit (and I don’t own that spray yet, so I won’t stay that way) because you have not included a link to the “Spray-on-Youth”. I need more imaginary products, but don’t know where to buy them. Did you used to sell them in your store?

    Sure, you can call me Sir. 😉 Unfortunately, I couldn’t find a distributor for Imaginary products. I’m thinking of starting one of those pyramid sales things and sell them that way. No one will actually get any product. I’ll just make a lot of money.

    Reply

  22. threeboys1mommy
    Jul 21, 2008 @ 02:58:03

    I think you’re elderly when you suffer from back pain, and need a new set of knees. 🙂 hi hi hi

    The one good thing about that is I can unelderly myself once I have the new knees and lose the weight so that my back doesn’t hurt (hopefully). I was just at your blog and read some great stuff. I am going back for more. 😉

    Reply

  23. Mark C
    Sep 14, 2011 @ 16:25:07

    I am 50, just spent 5 days hiking in the Bryce Canyon in Utah.
    After the 4th day I felt Elderly.
    Today day 6 back to feeling great.

    Feet and Knees hurt the worst.

    Just did too much the 4th day. 8 miles down, in and up. ug.

    Mark

    Reply

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