I Attended a 90th Birthday Party Last Sunday! Quite Exciting! At Least For Someone Who Doesn’t Get Out Much!

My son-in-law’s grandfather had his 90th birthday party Sunday afternoon. This is his English grandfather not the Japanese one. There were about 50 or 60 people and it was held at the local Art Center owned by my Son-in-law’s Aunt. The local state rep was there and presented the old man, I’ll call him D, with an award from the state representatives, for all the work he has done for the town and the state. He is also a Doctor of Psychology and was in the CIA in Asia at some point when he was younger. He even had an alias and was undercover but I guess he still can’t talk about what he did because it was all top secret.

THAT’S HIM ON THE RIGHT. DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING ABOUT THIS PHOTO?

THAT’S ME AND MY NEW FRIEND I MET THERE. DO YOU NOTICE A THEME HERE?

Damn near everyone had a cane, a walker or a wheelchair. This was the cane convention to beat all cane conventions. At least I didn’t feel out of place. They served baked beans and hot dogs and corn bread because Durgin Park, a very famous historical restaurant in Boston, that is known for those particular foods, was started by D’s grandfather or he owned the building way back when. I sort of lost track of it all as they were talking. Fortunately they had some vegetables for me to eat and while everyone ate ice cream, cake and brownies for dessert, I ate grapes. I did eat a hot dog which I shouldn’t have and some corn bread and some homemade brown bread. But the meal was both lunch and supper. They didn’t have diet soda. I had to drink seltzer water.

I ALWAYS HAVE TO POST PHOTOS OF THE FOOD!!

Maybe I just notice cane people more because I am one. No one had a monkey’s fist on their cane except me. I guess that doesn’t surprise anyone. D was 90 so a lot of his compadres were right up there in age so there were bound to be cane people. I didn’t even get photos of all of them. I did notice the crowd kept tripping over all the canes sticking out of everywhere. The evening ended with the toilet upstairs getting clogged up and the clogger not telling anyone . The water went through the floor from upstairs and down through the ceiling into one of the rooms in the art center and fortunately my daughter saved all the artwork in that room with her quick thinking. The water was coming down fast too, but nothing got wrecked. That was definitely the most exciting part of the day. I’m really glad not of the artwork got destroyed. I wish I had photos of it but everyone was too busy trying to stop the flooding except for the cane people who just watched. I did help by grabbing all of the paper tablecloths and handing them to Sarah to soak up some of the water.

I LEAVE YOU WITH PHOTOS OF ME AND SARAH AND OBIE AND SARAH. MY HEAD IS TWICE THE SIZE OF HER HEAD. I HOPE I LOSE WEIGHT IN MY HEAD.

OH, AND THIS IS WHAT I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS. A CANE AND A SEAT ALL IN ONE. I DON’T KNOW THOUGH, THAT LOOKS LIKE A BROKEN ASS WAITING TO HAPPEN.

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13 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Little Miss
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 15:48:14

    I was going to say, it’s a meeting of Caners Anonymous in the first photo. LOL. You crack me up – losing weight in your head?? Of course you do. As long as it’s not brain matter, it’s all good, right?

    Caner’s Anonymous cracks me up. I should start a new group–CA. I could teach everyone all the different ways to use their canes and we’d all keep it a secret. Handicap parking would be tough. There could be fights but that’s OK we’d all have our canes.

    I don’t have that much brain matter left. I can’t afford to lose any of that.

    Reply

  2. Little Miss
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 15:49:45

    Oh, and the cane seat? Yes, another broken ass for sure when you trip on the part sticking out in front of your leg. Or maybe it’s a broken head that you will get. Either way, maybe not such a hot idea, eh?

    Yea, I definitely see trouble coming if I get a hold of one of those.

    Reply

  3. Hannah
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 16:31:54

    Looks like some yummy food at the party!!
    That cane/seat?? I’ve never seen anything like it! The seat part looks a little uncomfortable, but I suppose if you really need a seat you would just take what you’re given, LOL 🙂

    The food was good and all homemade. I think it’s made for skinny people. I may have to wait a while before I try that out.

    Reply

  4. birdpress
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 17:11:11

    Your writing is so funny in such a natural sounding way that it’s sometimes hard to tell whether you were trying or not! Are you like this in person too? I can’t read your stuff and not laugh!

    I don’t think your head is twice the size of her head; you just have a differently shaped head!

    You did well avoiding all that food! That looked like quite the temptation.

    Thank goodness your daughter saved the paintings! That sounds like a messy situation. I hope there isn’t too much damage from it.

    Honestly, I just write what pops into my head. I think if you asked my family they would say yes. I am just like this in person. My head is challengedly shaped. We have to be politically correct. HA!!
    I did fairly well with the food. It was definitely messy but thank goodness Sarah noticed it and nothing got wrecked.

    Reply

  5. teeni
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 19:40:56

    First congratulations on resisting all that temptation! You are awesome! 🙂 Next, it’s a wonder nobody got killed tripping over all those canes in one place. I swear I’ve seen less in nursing homes! And may God bless the 90-year-old man. He sure must have some great stories. You are all adorable and I agree with Birdpress – your head is just shaped differently. You still made me laugh again though. 🙂

    I’m going to check with my daughter to see if we can figure out how many canes were there. I resisted some temptation but not all. The grandfather does have some great stories and he started telling one before he blew out the candles which started to melt all over the cake. Everyone was yelling at him to blow out the candles but he would have no part of it until he finished his story.

    Reply

  6. mrsvierkant
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 21:26:16

    That sounds like a lovely birthday party. I’d love to hear the stories he’d have to tell, if only he could.

    LOL about all the canes. It is good to feel at home.

    I think I’d pass on the cane seat though. That looks like an accident waiting to happen, LOL. Although, it could just be because I’m an accident waiting to happen, LOL.

    I think you’re right about the cane seat. The idea seemed so good at first.

    Reply

  7. Sueellen
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 21:43:22

    Way to go on resisting all that temptation, you did awesome! I think the same thing, that when I am done this journey my head better of shrunk! YOU look great!

    Thank you Sueellen. I ate a couple of things I shouldn’t like the hot dog and the cornbread but that’s about it. I also had two appetizers, small ones, both vegetarian.

    Reply

  8. witchypoo
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 21:54:22

    Sounds like the only kind of party where the mens still think I’m hawt.

    I don’t know if half of them could even see that well. I’ll bet I could have even fooled them into thinking I’m hawt!

    Reply

  9. David
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 21:58:00

    Nice birthday party! Thanks for posting the pix. The food spread looks yummy. Your daughter and her husband are really good sports to let you post those great pix of them too! What an adorable couple!

    Handy Seats = Ass Breakers 😦

    The kids are good about letting me post photos. I totally agree about the seat being an assbreaker especially with my reputation.

    Reply

  10. Peter Parkour
    Jun 20, 2008 @ 01:59:39

    I’m sure that was one hell of a cripple convey heading out of there. 😉 What shitty luck, having a backed up toilet raining down like that. Never a dull moment with a monkey’s fist involved. 😛

    I got there early so I could get the one and only cripple parking space. I knew there would be competition over it, maybe even a cane fight( thank God for the monkey’s fist). The toilet water actually did come down like rain.

    Reply

  11. Peter Parkour
    Jun 20, 2008 @ 05:48:44

    This just in: Cane-A-Palooza was cut short this year due to unexpected showers. 😛

    Sorry, couldn’t resist. 😉

    Oh God, what kind of music would we hear at “Cane-A-Palooza”. You are too funny!!!!

    Reply

  12. odette
    Jun 21, 2008 @ 13:46:32

    everything in this post is so funny! from your post down to the comments, down to your replies, you’re cracking me up joan! i so want to be with you, i love your humor!

    Well, don’t crack up too much. You need to be in one piece to get to your hubby soon.

    Reply

  13. shornsheep
    Jun 21, 2008 @ 21:10:33

    Yes, always take photos of the food, hehe!

    Who thinks up things like the all in one cane and seat I wonder?

    The cane seat looks like a good idea but with my habit of falling on my butt it’s probably an accident waiting to happen for me. Plus the seat is not quite ample enough for my ample butt.

    Reply

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