Stupid Things and FACET BLOCK!!

Thanks to Pfizer the maker’s of Zoloft I actually do get to laugh these days. Having owned a health food store I was against all pharmaceutical companies and I still have my problems with them. They depressed me so I had to get on an anti-depressants. I have to admit there were other causes for the depression plus I think it runs in our family. I tried every natural remedy but none helped. Zoloft did.

I wonder if it helped a little too much because now the dumbest things make me snicker or downright laugh out loud. I tend to think of these things when I am driving. I must look crazy driving down the road laughing like a lunatic by myself.

Today I was driving and the car in front of me and the car behind me both had their handicap placards hung on their mirrors. Sorry, against the law, $50.00 fine. Considered to be a hazard because it blocks your view when driving. When you receive your placard you are given the rules and that’s one of them. I can’t give out tickets for that but a cop can if he sees you.

Being a law abiding citizen mine was on the passenger seat. I wanted to put mine up too then we would look like a traveling caravan of cripples which made me laugh hysterically all by my self. I resisted the urge because I didn’t want a $50.00 fine. It’s things like this that probably wouldn’t make anyone laugh but me that I end up laughing uncontrollably at. Do I sound a little Bi Polar? Nah, just making my own fun.

Yesterday, I got a call from the wasband. He was traveling up to New Hampshire to photograph some rare bird. He’d been driving for about an hour and a half. He calls me and says ” Joan, are you on the computer?” I say “Yes”. He says ” Look over on the sideboard, is my camera sitting there?” I look over at the sideboard. I say “Yes, Barry, it is.” I really felt bad that he forgot his camera but when I hung up the phone I couldn’t help myself. I had to laugh. A lot. And he thinks I’m forgetful?

EVIDENTLY I AM BECAUSE SARAH GAVE THIS TO ME THE OTHER DAY!!

Today before I went to my first pain management clinic I got up and saw his shoes and undies on my wheelchair. First of all my wheelchair is not a catch all for everyone’s “I don’t know where to put this stuff”. But it has become one. He was heading up North again to take his girlfriend on a little vacation for 5 or 6 days. She needs it, being a school teacher, and her last day was today. How could you forget your shoes? I keep wondering what he had on his feet when he left.

BARRY SHOWING ME HIS WHITE LEGS. NOW I SEE WHAT SHOES HE MUST BE WEARING TODAY.

So I’ve been to the Pain Clinic today and I am going to have a facet block done on my back. Don’t ask, the doc lost my attention when he mentioned the number of needles involved. I really don’t care how many needles are involved just do what you gotta do and be done with it. It may or may not work. We will find out on July 1st.

Mmmm CAN”T WAIT!!

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17 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. birdpress
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 17:45:18

    “a caravan of cripples” is so funny! And I didn’t know that you’d get fined for that, so I learned something. I can’t imagine a cop pulling over a handicapped person just for that though; the cop would have to be a complete jerk.

    Birdpress,
    I know, imagine a cop pulling over cripples. Let’s face it most of us are older and have no memories anyway.

    Reply

  2. Hannah
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 17:53:47

    I didn’t know you could get fined for that. Down here, the cards are just displayed on the dash, not hung up. They are also BRIGHT ORANGE so they stand out!
    Yeah, that’s kind of funny that Barry left his camera behind … doh!!

    Hannah
    And he’s always telling me what a good memory he has. HA! At least he’s a good guy.

    Reply

  3. Peter Parkour
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 19:56:29

    Joan, “a caravan of cripples” is funny, but “a cripple convoy” is hilarious. πŸ˜› πŸ˜‰

    Oh you, why didn’t I think of “cripple convoy” first.

    Reply

  4. kaylee
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 20:45:55

    OMG I LAUGHED SO HARd! ARE YOU OKAY MiSS JOAN?

    Well, I’m glad I made you laugh. I am doing fine. How about you??

    Reply

  5. David
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 21:08:07

    HHAAA! Funny stuff Joan!! If the zoloft is helping you write these hilarious posts then keep taking it please!

    My dad refuses to take the handicapped placard off the mirror too. Even though it says right on it NOT to drive with it hanging. He also refuses to use the wheelchair properly in his apt. (in our cellar) rather pushing it around with his one leg and crashing into things. He’s on the zoloft too, but it doesn’t seem to make him very cheerful. Oh well. That’s what he’s always saying. Oh well.

    That gift from your daughter- we IT geeks call those “palm pilots”. Interesting shopping list on the package! πŸ˜€

    Imagine you’ve done some googling on this facet block idea?

    Your Dad lives in your cellar? Like Arthur on the TV show ‘King of Queens”? That show is hilarious. I use my wheel chair in the kitchen to cook and paddle around with my legs crashing into everything and burning myself on the stove.

    Yea, she got me the cheap version of a “palm pilot”. I hadn’t noticed the list. I’m glad you brought it to my attention . It was so funny.

    I’m going to google the facet block business tomorrow. If I end up hating the idea, which is a possibility, I’ll cancel. I made the nurse right down exactly what they were going to be injecting my facets with so I could google it.

    Reply

  6. Wendy
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 21:30:53

    So what is Barry doing about a camera? Is he going to buy a drugstore one? And I can totally see your wheelchair becoming a catch-all for everybody’s crap, but on the bright side…you’re not in it! That’s a good sign, right?

    I know three people here in EP who’ve had the facet block. You’re right about it “may or may not” working. Did they also tell you you may have to have it more than once before it works?

    bacon, kitty litter, and vodka really is a weird shopping list.

    Barry ended up driving all the way back home and stayed home and went up there today. His camera has a $2000.00 lens so he can’t just use a drugstore one.

    I only use the wheel chair to cook in the house and to go shopping with Sarah because we can shop for hours and she’s willing to push it.

    I think I need to do some research on the facet block. I had never even heard of it.

    Don’t forget the sandpaper on that shopping list. What could you do with those four items all at the same time? I guess once you drank the vodka it wouldn’t matter.

    Reply

  7. writerchick
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 21:33:02

    I don’t know, Joanie, all of those things made me laugh. And I’m definitely not on anything but diet coke and menthol ciggies. Go figure. You were wondering about the shoes, but I was wondering about the underpants. πŸ™‚
    A

    I should have spread the undies out so everyone could see them. The Zoloft has definitely helped my depression but I drink diet soda too as long as it doesn’t have caffeine and is sweetened with splenda not aspartame.

    Reply

  8. trishatruly
    Jun 18, 2008 @ 22:52:47

    OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW OW !!!!!!
    JOAN! That needle looks BADD!!!!!!!! I don’t know what a facet block is but I don’t think I like it! It damn well better help, right?
    Oooo, joan, I will be praying like crazy for you on July 1st, sweetheart!

    Oh, and bacon and vodka are written on my palm, too. (Like I’d forget that! HA!)

    I love the smell of bacon cooking. Now I only eat turkey bacon which actually isn’t half bad once you get used to it. I have it with my egg beaters which also aren’t bad if you add onions and peppers to them. I hold off on the vodka with my egg beaters and turkey bacon. Jack Daniels works better!! :=)

    I need to find out more about the facet block. I want to know exactly what it is and are there any side effects. I’m never to keen on Doctors sticking things into me.

    Reply

  9. thegirlfromtheghetto
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 00:08:37

    Ok, a facet block? Sounds scary as hell. And I laughed about your traveling caravan of handicapped people. And I’m not on those meds .. maybe your just getting really really funny?

    I don’t really care what the cause is at least I’m laughing. I still haven’t looked up facet block. I need to know more.

    Reply

  10. Red
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 00:24:49

    Joan, with all the bullshit that’s going around these days, it is sooo good to laugh. Do it often, do it loud!!!

    Yea Red, “DO IT LOUD” That’s easy for me. I get very loud when I get excited.

    Reply

  11. Just a Mom
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 10:38:46

    Thanks for the good laugh with your caravan of cripples! I hope the facet block works if you go through with it!

    I wonder if there is a cripple club in town. I don’t know what they would do about handicap parking.

    Reply

  12. odette
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 13:08:59

    everything in here made me laugh!

    the “caravan of cripples” will stick forever, and i know when i think of it randomly while in a quiet ride with a bus-full of people, i’d burst out laughing still. you’re a genius!

    I don’t know about genius. But I do like to make people laugh.

    Reply

  13. Lucky
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 13:20:45

    I can’t believe he forgot his camera!!! HAHA πŸ™‚ Poor guy!

    Let me know how that needle thing works out for ya. YIKES.

    I laughed but I did feel bad for him. He wasted a lot of gas that day. I could have put that money to much better use. I will definitely keep everyone posted about the facet needle block.

    Reply

  14. betme
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 13:40:24

    Joan ~ This entire post is a riot! I am often laughing about things and when Mr. J askes me what is so funny, I tell him and he cringes and that makes me laugh even more. Keep your eyes open for the men with the funny white jacket… They are coming to take us away… πŸ˜€

    Barry’s legs kind of freak me out. I have this terrible urge to reach through the screen and rub some self tanner on him.

    I think Barry’s legs freaked him out that day. It was the first time he wore shorts all year because he lost all his shorts in the attic. Who else could do that? If he saw a hand coming out of the computer with self tanner, it would put him over the edge. DO IT! DO IT!

    Reply

  15. Little Miss
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 14:50:58

    You are too funny. Sometimes I crack myself up too and I don’t care who’s around. And I’m not on anti-depressants! Life is good. But those underpants? Ewww. Not good. I would need to disinfect my wheelchair, if it were me.

    Sounds like a facet block will help you. I found a link for you: http://www.spine-health.com/treatment/injections/injections-back-pain-management

    I had a steroid injection on my back a couple years ago. It was relatively painless but I had to be face down while she did it, and getting up was what hurt. It did help, but has now – about 2 years later – worn off.

    Fortunately the underpants were clean. Thanks for the link. I will check it out. Well, I like hearing it is relatively painless. They’ll just have to get four orderlies and lift me up like a block of wood.

    Reply

  16. teeni
    Jun 19, 2008 @ 19:38:00

    Holy crap – whatever you do – don’t look at the needles before they jab you. I always, always, put a hand over my eyes when I’m going to get jabbed. I don’t want to tense up and break the needles. I love your new “To-Do Tattoo!” What a great invention that is. Unless you forget where the pen is before you get to write your list. LOL. I’m so glad you are now able to laugh these days, Joan. It certainly helps get you through life – don’t it though? You sure are helping ME anyway! πŸ™‚

    Well I’m glad you get a laugh out of this place because I usually get a laugh writing it. I don’t want to see the needles because I don’t want to know how big they are. I don’t mind having blood taken but I have a feeling these needles are going to be bigger. I haven’t tried the to-do-tattoo yet. I’ll let you know how it works. I hope I do lose the pen.

    Reply

  17. robert neufeld
    Sep 08, 2010 @ 21:55:00

    Hello: Find this site by accident or was guided to it. I”m having a facet next Thursday. Anything would be better than back pain! I have considered booze and a hit of cannabis! Robert

    Reply

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