I should be careful in stores not to call a cripple cart a cripple cart in front of other cripples but I’m thinking to myself they know they’re cripples. What else would you call it? Honestly, I can’t imagine. The word was recorded as early as 950 AD. I’m not going to say to the clerk at the grocery store “Can you tell me where the motorized vehicles are for the challanged or differently abled ?” I’m going to say “Where’s the fuckin’ cripple cart?” That’s 14 words versus 5 and 4 if I leave out “fuckin”. Saves everybody time.
Well, I just went on a website that tells us the politically correct names for people like me. Definitely, cripple is politically wrong, wrong, wrong. “Challenged” is OK so is “differently abled”. Anyone calls me “differently abled” I’ll cane them. I hate this politically correct crap. I’d rather be called a cripple. I looked up the definition of a cripple. It is: someone who is unable to walk normally because of an injury or disability to the legs or back. If that isn’t me, I don’t know what is. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck… call it a duck.
George Carlin had this to say about cripples:
Also, crippled people are crippled, they’re not differently-abled. If you insist on using tortured language like differently-abled, then you must include all of us. We’re all differently-abled. You can do things I can’t do; I can do things you can’t do. I can pick my nose with my thumb, and I can switch hands while masturbating and gain a stroke. We’re all differently-abled. Crippled people are simply crippled. It’s a perfectly honorable word. There is no shame in it. It’s in the Bible: “Jesus healed the cripples.” He didn’t engage in rehabilitative strategies for the physically disadvantaged.
Here’s my favorite one: “Differently weighted”. Yes I actually found that as an acceptable phrase for FAT. Oh, there’s more:
Fat – gravitationally challenged
Fat – horizontally challenged.
Fat – horizontally gifted
Fat – people of mass
Fat – person of substance
So if I’m with my sister and she introduces me to someone is she supposed to say “This is my sister Joan, she has an “Enlarged physical condition caused by a completely natural genetically-induced hormone imbalance.” ? And then I have to cane someone. Again. Get over it: I”M FAT!!! I admit it and let’s face it admitting it is the first step toward doing something about it.
George Carlin said it best about fat people:
Let’s get to some of these other non-victims. You probably noticed, elsewhere I used the word fat. I used that word because that’s what fat people are. They’re fat. They’re not large; they’re not stout, chunky, hefty, or plump. And they’re not big-boned. Dinosaurs are big-boned. These people are not necessarily obese, either. Obese is a medical term. And they’re not overweight. Overweight implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it’s not fat. Only people are fat, and that’s what fat people are. They’re fat. I offer no apology for this. It is not intended as criticism or insult. It is simply descriptive language. I don’t like euphemisms. Euphemisms are a form of lying. Fat people are not gravitationally disadvantaged. They’re fat. I prefer seeing things the way they are, not the way some people wish they were.
It is what it is. I am a fat cripple but I won’t be for long 🙂