Mother’s Day: I Was Given a Choice, Going Out to Dinner or Prizes

Right off the bat, I’ll skip dinner. Weight Watcher’s certainly limits what I can eat at a restaurant but my daughter wanted to give me the choice just in case. I nixed the dinner. I WANT PRIZES!!!

What I really want is someone to clean up the yard. That would be the best present I could receive and it wouldn’t cost anyone any money, unless they want to buy me some outdoor hanging plants and tiki torches. We had a tree cut down exactly 5 months ago today. It was a big swamp maple in our front yard and all the pieces of the tree are still sitting in the front yard. I was hinting around last night that I would like the front yard cleaned up.

Well, there’s the wasband moving the tree today in the rain. WHAT A GUY!!! He really shouldn’t be doing it. I was so afraid he was going to hurt his back but there was no stopping him.

I have a deck off my bedroom that I can’t use because we need a new door. So on my last birthday the kids bought me a nice wooden chair and put it at the end of my driveway, right by the side door so I could get to it easily. I like to sit outside in the summer and read or just meditate (in other words do nothing). But it’s not the oasis that I dream about.

That’s it. Nice view of my wasband’s truck and the three other cars in the driveway. Also you can see the deck next door where they tie up the poor dog, though I have not heard or seen him in a couple of days.

My daughter came up with the idea that if they parked the cars further toward the street (there is plenty of room to do that, they can move them about 10-12 feet further back) it would give them more room to turn the swing toward the backyard, rake and clean up the ground, put out some tiki torches and some hanging flowers and generally spruce it up. I’d love a chiminea too.

OK, now things are getting expensive. I can do without the chiminea. But I have seen cheap ones for like $50.

I like to go sit out at night but there is no light out there. We need an electrician to come over because we have some major electrical problems and we had to disconnect the outdoor light. Tiki torches will do, better ambiance anyway.



After my wasband was finished he came in the house and said “Happy Fuckin’ Mother’s Day”. I almost fell off my chair from laughing.

Then I made him a pizza.


15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. betme
    May 09, 2008 @ 16:00:43

    Joan ~ Your wasband is a sweetie and knows just how to say the nicest things. “Happy Fuckin’ Mother’s Day” 😀

    I also chuckled about the nice view of the truck. You could admire the bugs stuck in the grill as you sit and swing.

    It is so green and beautiful where you live. I hope you have a fan-frickin-tastic Mother’s day.


  2. Hannah
    May 09, 2008 @ 17:57:45

    I think if I could get that kind of work done in my yard, I would also skip the Mother’s Day dinner!! 😛


  3. kaylee2
    May 09, 2008 @ 18:20:50

    I love that wasband of yours 😉


  4. joanharvest
    May 09, 2008 @ 18:26:06


    He is the best ex-husband ever!!!


  5. joanharvest
    May 09, 2008 @ 18:30:57

    @ Betme
    My wasband says some funny stuff. He has a wicked sense of humor. I do plan on having a fan freakin’ tastic Mother’s Day. I hope you do too.

    @ Hannah
    Definitely like the work better than food or prizes. Though a few decorative flowering plants would be nice for my new oasis I hope top get.


  6. Red
    May 09, 2008 @ 19:37:05

    What a guy!
    Happy Mother’s Day to you, Joan.


  7. thebeadden
    May 09, 2008 @ 20:12:55

    We should all get a wasband! (If my husband happens upon this I’m j/k. You’re still useful. For now…. 🙂

    Happy Mother’s Day Joan


  8. David
    May 09, 2008 @ 22:14:37

    Nothin says love like moving huge chunks of wood. Gosh that sounds so dirty when I read it to myself …


  9. joanharvest
    May 09, 2008 @ 22:33:32

    @ Red
    Yea, he is a great wasband. I am fortunate to know he will always be my wasband and best friend. I am also fortunate that all of his girlfriends have accepted me as a friend, especially his new one. She’s a hot shit. I like her a lot.


    “He’s useful. For now…” Keep him on his toes so he’ll stay useful. Happy Mother’s day to you too.

    @ David

    I suppose it depends on which direction the wood is moving. OOH, that sounds dirty too. 🙂


  10. Peter Parkour
    May 10, 2008 @ 00:28:17

    Looking good over there, Joan. Don’t let them stop until it’s just how you want it. 😉 Happy Mother’s Day. 🙂


  11. joanharvest
    May 10, 2008 @ 01:00:20

    @ Peter

    I’ll have my cane out and supervise this weekend while they work. We need grass planted in the front yard. Believe it or not I was just looking up sword canes but they don’t ship them to four states and of course Massachusetts is one of the four. Thanks for The Mother’s Day wish.


  12. javaqueen14
    May 10, 2008 @ 02:36:59

    Have a great Mother’s Day Joan! Your yard looks much better, that was a great gift from the wasband 😉 All that for a pizza? I’ve got a few frozen pizza’s over here- you rent him out? LOL! Have an awesome weekend, cannot wait to check back and she how you are doing!


  13. joanharvest
    May 10, 2008 @ 15:32:09

    @ Javaqueen

    You can borrow the wasband anytime for free. He’ll do most anything for pizza. Have a great weekend yourself with that wonderful Mom of yours.


  14. javaqueen14
    May 11, 2008 @ 01:46:22

    Thank you Joan, I’m going to have to take you up on the wasband…. When the frozen pizza’s go on sale; I’m gonna stock up and give ‘ya a call – I wanna get more bang for my pizza buck! I think your relationship with him is unique and awesome; everyone should take a page out of your book and realize it must be so much better to be a team even after the fact than being at each other’s throats! You have a very rare and unique situation. Very cool! Have an awesome MOTHER’S DAY!


  15. joanharvest
    May 12, 2008 @ 20:21:53

    @ Javaqueen
    Yea, we ought to be on Oprah. I can just see the title of the show “Dysfunctional Family Becomes Functional in a Dysfunctional Sort of Way” “And they rent out the Wasband for Pizza.”


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