Weight Watchers Saturday! Music From the 50’s!

I just got back from my weight watchers meeting and lost 2 pounds. Not .2 like last week but 2 whole pounds. I’m so happy, that I am going into town later to a fat lady’s store to try on some clothes and figure out what size I am. I have no clue. When I started all this I was a size 32 in jeans. We will soon see what size I am. I will keep you posted. I also am in the 60’s finally. It seems like I’ve been in the 70’s forever. Now I look forward to getting into the 50’s which means I will be listening to 50’s music soon. Here is a small selection of what I will be listening to.

• Perry Como
• Tony Bennett
• Rosemary Clooney
• Eddie Fisher
• Nat King Cole
• Pat Boone
• Fats Domino
• The Platters
• Bill Haley & His Comets
• Jerry Lee Lewis
• The Everly Brothers
• Buddy Holly & The Crickets
• Frankie Avalon
• Paul Anka
• Bobby Darin
• Elvis Presley
• The Chordettes
• The McGuire Sisters
• Little Richard
• Patti Page

I saved Patti Page for last because I wanted to present this video of her singing one of my favorite songs and if you know where I live and know Patti Page you will know what song it is. It is definitely a classic.

Honestly, I can’t think of anywhere I’d rather be than on Old Cape Cod.

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What’s Going on in New Zealand– I Read the Newspaper Again

I have to quit reading the local newspaper. We must have been short of news for our paper because now we’re getting updates from New Zealand.

To you New Zealand gals: Does this happen often?

Man fined for throwing hedgehog at teen

By ASSOCIATED PRESS

May 30, 2008

WELLINGTON, New Zealand – A New Zealand man who assaulted a teen by hitting him with a spine-covered hedgehog has been fined by a court and ordered to pay most of his fine to his victim.

Whakatane District Court was told Thursday that William Singalargh picked up the hedgehog, a small prickly-backed animal similar to the porcupine, and threw it several yards at a 15-year-old boy in the North Island east coast town of Whakatane on Feb. 9.

Police said the teen was hit in the leg, causing a large, red welt and several puncture marks. The injury did not require medical treatment.

Singalargh was convicted of common assault and offensive behavior following a defended hearing. He had pleaded innocent to the charges.

He was fined a total of $545, of which $389 were paid to his victim.

A more serious charge of assault with a weapon – the hedgehog – was dropped. The maximum penalty for that charge is five years in prison.

It was not known whether the hedgehog was dead or alive at the time of the attack, but Senior Sgt. Bruce Jenkins said earlier that it was dead when collected as evidence.

I’m sorry for the poor hedgehog. I might use my cane as a weapon but I would never use a hedgehog. I don’t mean to laugh at the demise of the poor hedgehog but this story did make me laugh. I’d love to know what the teenager did to gain the wrath of the hedgehog thrower.

Then I had to go find a photo of a hedgehog. Now I’m not laughing anymore. I didn’t realize they were so cute. They should have fined that man more money. They shouldn’t have dropped the assault charge and stuck the guy in prison for 5 years. I’ll bet he wouldn’t use a hedgehog for a weapon anymore. But then what would he use? I guess there are wacky people everywhere.

Why Was That Boy Home From School–Gotta Rant Today–All Because I Read The Stupid Newspaper

I was just reading our local newspaper headlines online. I don’t buy the newspaper because personally I don’t want to pay to read a bunch of politically correct crap. Once in a while I will read the headlines online as I did today. The title of the story was , oh never mind, here is the whole story. It’s short.

Teen foils attempted burglary at his home

May 29, 2008

SANDWICH — A 17-year-old boy who was home from school foiled an attempted breaking and entering at his Meiggs Backus Road home yesterday afternoon after hearing a strange noise and coming face-to-face with the would-be burglar, police said.

The burglar suspect was described as a extremely skinny white 25-year-old man with short hair. He was “preppy” and “clean shaven,” Sandwich police Officer Michael Wood said.

The teen heard a noise at about 12:20 p.m. and went to his back door to let his dog out, then was face-to-face with the burglar suspect, who had cut the screen door, Wood said.

The man fell after trying to run and the teen gave chase. The burglar ripped off the teen’s necklace and pushed him to get away, Wood said. The Barnstable County Sheriff’s Department tracked the suspect toward Barnstable, Wood said.

After these stories online, readers can make comments. More people were questioning why the boy was home from school than the fact that some asshole robber tried to break into his house. Come on, a skinny 25 year old spells cokehead looking for money to supply his habit. Nobody seemed to care about that. Who the hell cares why the kid was home. His house was almost robbed by a scumbag drug addict.

I don’t usually write about this kind of thing but it really annoyed me. I wish I’d have been there with my cane.

By the way here is my cane with my new added attachment/weapon/decoration. Call it what you want. But if I whack someone with it they are going to know it.

My friend is an expert knot maker. She usually does a lot of work on boats. This is a monkey fist and is hard as a rock. Now technically I think of it as a decoration. Yea, right. Would I use it on someone. Yea, damn right I would. I probably would go to jail and the robber go free but I’m OK with that as long as I get him good first. Somebody’s got to knock some sense into these kids and I don’t mean the kid who stayed home from school. My house has been robbed 4 times. Fortunately for the robbers I wasn’t home.

There, I got that out of my system. Usually I would have to call my sister right away to rant about this but now I have my blog which she will read anyway.

I can’t read the newspaper anymore. It annoys me too much.

My other rant is the tourists are coming. I don’t mind tourists in general. It boosts our economy here on the Cape. It’s good for the small business owner, which I was once. The traffic sucks but I can deal with that. It’s the obliviate tourists that annoy me. Obliviates are the ones who are just totally oblivious to those around them. They drive like assholes. They are rude in restaurants and stores. They leave lousy tips to waitresses. They just don’t give a shit about anyone around them. I welcome the nice tourists but the obliviates can stay home and be rude to people in their own town.

If you want to come to the Cape looking like the above, be my guest (not actually at my house). I have truly seen couples like that here in town. It rather shocks me. Are they trying to get caned?

Meme from The Girl From The Ghetto! Includes Fun Facts about Toilet Paper!

So I was tagged to do a questionaire-type meme by The Girl From the Ghetto. She has a most awesome site. She keeps me updated on my favorite show “Lost”. Stuff happens on that show and I’m watching it but somehow I miss it and she is very smart and observant and doesn’t miss a thing, thank goodness, otherwise I would never know what was going on. She also writes about lots of other interesting things. If you haven’t been there you should check her out.

Favorite person (outside family

This is difficult because I don’t hang out with much of anyone outside my family. I do have three friends though and I can’t choose between them. I don’t even hang out with them that much but I always talk to them on the phone or e-mail them and they are always there for me. First is my long lost sister Wendy from Life with Buck. She has been my sister’s best friend for years and we decided that my mother must have lost her in a store when she was little and never told us about it. She is so much like us that she has to be our third sister.

Cindy is a woman I met through my store about 10 years ago. She started coming in and we started talking and we have been best friends ever since. I talk on the phone to her everyday and she tries to get to see me as often as she can but she lives maybe 30 miles from here and with gas prices…

The other is Nancy, who lives even further away but I met her when I was 10 years old and we have been best friends ever since. OMG, the stuff we did when we were young.

Favorite food?

Another tough one because there is very little food I don’t like. One of my favorite foods is the potato in all it’s cooked forms–mashed, fried, scalloped, homefries, chips. It doesn’t matter how you cook one I will eat it.

Quirks about you?

Oh Lord, ask my daughter. She probably has a list a mile long. One of my quirks to someone else would seem normal to me so another difficult one to answer. Well, I won’t put the toilet paper on the paper holder thingy. Not because I can’t but I always want to see if anyone else will do it. Most times no one does. It’s sort of pointless having the thing.

Fun facts about toilet paper from Wikipedia:

“New Yorker Joseph C. Gayetty produced the first packaged bathroom tissue in the United States in 1857. The Gayetty Firm from New Jersey produced the first toilet paper named “The Therapeutic Paper”. It contained an abundance of aloe, a curative addition. The company sold it in packs of 500 sheets for fifty cents, and Joseph Gayetty had his name printed on each sheet!

Before toilet tissue- wealthy Romans used wool and rosewater and sponges soaked in salt water at the end of a stick. Wealthy French used lace, wool and hemp. In the Middle Ages they used hayballs and a scraper/gompf stick kept in a container in the privy. Early Americans used rags, newsprint, paper from catalogs, corncobs, and leaves. Vikings used lambs wool. Hawaiians used coconut shells. Eskimos used snow and Tundra moss. A bidet is used in France. Defecating in the river is very common. Cleaning with the left hand and water is common in India. Sailors used the frayed end of an old anchor line.”

This looks like it might work for us!

How would the person who loves you most describe you in ten words or less? (Ask them)

loving, loyal, funny, forgetful, quirky, accepting, helpful, honest, smart and sassy.

My daughter typed in the above herself. I didn’t even prompt her.

Any regrets in life?

Hell yea!! I wouldn’t have eaten so many fried potatoes!!!

Favorite Charity/Cause?

I don’t have a charity. I am a charity. Sometimes I feel useless being disabled. I want to hang out on some corner with a tin cup and beg for money so I can pay back my daughter and my wasband for all they have done for me.

I do have a cause. That is the consumption, the breathing in of, and the putting on our skin of way too many chemicals. The average person manages to take in almost 200 chemicals a day. Don’t get me started on this. I could write a 10,000 word essay on it in 2 minutes if I could type that fast.

Favorite Blog recently?

All my blogs are my favorites otherwise I’d delete them. I can’t think of anyone on my blogroll that I don’t absolutely adore. You have all changed my life for the better.

Something you can’t get enough of?

Potatoes?

Worst job you’ve ever had?

When I was in high school I worked on an assembly line putting little white covers on little white boxes, over and over and over again. It was sort of like the I Love Lucy show, the famous episode of her and Ethel on the chocolate candy assembly line. Only it was me and Nancy. We didn’t last too long at that job.

What job would you pay NOT to have?

Come on, what did I just say, remember already, the little white boxes?

If you could be a fly on the wall, where?

Hillary Clinton’s bedroom. I’d love to hear the love talk between Hill and Bill. I wonder if she wears a Monica wig and they play Bill and Monica.

Favorite Bible verse right now?

Sorry, haven’t read it recently. I still have a version of a Children’s Bible Stories book that my brother gave me when I was about 10 years old. It’s in my book case. I’ll just give you my favorite saying. I guess you could call it my mantra–“It is what it is” That’s how I am able to accept a lot of stuff I can’t change. It’s a lot shorter than that Al Anon one I can never remember the words to but is basically the same thing and I can remember this one.

Guilty Pleasure?

Being unemployed. When I’m not feeling guilty about it, it sure is fun.

Got any confessions?

I’ve already confessed about stealing my sister’s diary when I was a kid and finding my brother’s pot stash. I can’t think of much else.

If you HAD to spend $1,000 on YOURSELF, how would you spend it?

I couldn’t spend it on myself. Well, maybe just a little of it. I would probably buy that King Arthur statue from Design Toscano. I’d have to give most of it to my daughter towards bills.

Favorite thing about your house?

My bedroom. I wrote a whole post about it with photos.

Least favorite thing about your house?

Not having walls in the bathroom. It finally got a door after quite a few months. You can’t see into it but when you are in it all you see is the insulation. Oh, and we have no front steps. You walk out the front door and you are going to drop three feet to the ground. Thank goodness we have a side door with a railing so I can get out of this place when I want to.

One thing you are bad at?

Singing. You don’t want to hear me sing. First I can never remember all the words to any song except “The Eensy Weensy Spider”.

One thing you’re good at?

Cooking. I think I do a damn good job cooking for this family. Except I’m not cooking tonight. I got off prednisone completely and I didn’t think it would cause so much pain. I can hardly walk at all. I couldn’t even go grocery shopping so I am getting back on a low dose until I get to go to the pain management clinic. I don’t know what they are going to eat for supper . I told my daughter and she kept saying “Don’t worry about it Mom”, but I do.

If you could change something about your circumstances, what would it be?

Having the money to buy a bigger house for us all.

Who would you like to meet someday?

I’d like to meet up with my father again, even for just a minute so I could tell him how much I love him.

What makes you feel sexy?

Nothing I can think of until I lose another 125 pounds. Then talk to me, Baby.

Who is your real life hero?

My Dad. He was such a hot shit. He was a wonderful father. Someday I’ll have to tell some good stories about him.

My Dad

What is the hardest part of your job?

Since I don’t actually work at a job and mostly what I do is cook I guess I would say grocery shopping. Until they give those cripple carts more power, grocery shopping takes forever.

When are you most relaxed?

When all my cooking chores are done and I sit in my big comfy chair and relax for the rest of the evening.

What stresses you out?

Worrying about my son.

What can you not live without?

My family

Why do you blog?

It’s free therapy!!

I am not going to tag anyone but feel free to do this meme if it pleases you. I know it would please me.

Weight Watcher’s Saturday Sucked–I’m not demented! Yet!

First, I only lost .2 pounds. Not 2 pounds–point 2 pounds, that’s only 1/5 of a pound. I had to add this because no one was seeing the dot before the 2.  Ha! Ha!

I don’t know exactly where I went wrong but I did track what I ate and was within the correct points more or less. We did have a stir fry which I guessed at the points. I think I guessed wrong. We also had turkey meatloaf and I didn’t weigh out my portion. Wrong guess again. I have a feeling guessing with weight watcher’s doesn’t work that well.

My regular leader is on vacation for two weeks. She warned us about it last week. Hardly anyone showed up knowing she’d be gone plus it’s a holiday weekend. The new leader is OK but she just isn’t L. So the meeting was somewhat boring.

Six things to do at a boring weight watcher’s meeting.

1. Bring a box of warm cinnabuns and open the cover to let out that wonderful smell and watch everyone’s reaction. (Make sure you don’t eat them after the meeting)
2. Throw spitballs at the leader. (make sure you sit in the back of the room)
3. Hum the tune to the Andy Griffith show over and over again, just so people can barely hear it.
4. Bring a sketch pad and pretend your sketching the leader.
5. Take out some paper towels and 409 and start cleaning the table.
6. Think of five things to do at a boring weight watchers’ meeting.

On a good note I got the results of my blood test. My cholesterol is down 60 points and my blood sugar is down just over 40 points. I did it just through diet, no medication. I did take fish oil on days that I remembered, which wasn’t really that often.

But at least I’m not demented. A woman at the meeting went to a talk on memory loss. The speaker said memory loss does not mean you have dementia. Good to know. It could mean a number of other horrible things but at least I’m not demented. Well, if I ever do get demented there are perks.

You Tube of My Daughter on Martha’s Vineyard Local TV Station Plum TV

This interview was done at the end of last summer. I just thought I would post it. I first had to get it off the Plum TV website and then download it to You Tube. I have never done this before so it was a learning experience too. Plus you will meet my daughter. She has cut her hair and lost some weight since this was done. It’s an interview about about wedding jewelry, not wedding rings but gifts for the father and groomsmen and bridesmaids and favors etc. She manages the most popular jewelry store on Martha’s Vineyard. Carly Simon is one of her customers. Carly sang to her once which I thought was pretty funny.

This is from the Website for the store she works for.

Sarah York, the store manager, joined C.B. Stark in 2002. She began working in the jewelry industry at the age of nineteen, when she took a summer job working for a large national jewelry chain on Cape Cod. Within a few months she was a store manager. She realized that she loved the jewelry industry but didn’t want to work for a large corporation. Sarah then became the service manager at Guertin Brothers Jewelers, a well-known independent jewelery retailer on Cape Cod. In 2002, she moved her career to Martha’s Vineyard. She currently lives “off-island” in Falmouth and commutes to the Vineyard by ferry.
Sarah continues to further her education with the Gemological Institute of America, where she has many certifications, including her Graduate Diamonds Diploma. Her education and experience help her work with customers to design one-of-a-kind pieces or create new jewelry out of old.

Calling a Cripple a Cripple: I Guess It’s Not Politically Correct!! OH Well!!!

I should be careful in stores not to call a cripple cart a cripple cart in front of other cripples but I’m thinking to myself they know they’re cripples. What else would you call it? Honestly, I can’t imagine. The word was recorded as early as 950 AD. I’m not going to say to the clerk at the grocery store “Can you tell me where the motorized vehicles are for the challanged or differently abled ?” I’m going to say “Where’s the fuckin’ cripple cart?” That’s 14 words versus 5 and 4 if I leave out “fuckin”. Saves everybody time.

Well, I just went on a website that tells us the politically correct names for people like me. Definitely, cripple is politically wrong, wrong, wrong. “Challenged” is OK so is “differently abled”. Anyone calls me “differently abled” I’ll cane them. I hate this politically correct crap. I’d rather be called a cripple. I looked up the definition of a cripple. It is: someone who is unable to walk normally because of an injury or disability to the legs or back. If that isn’t me, I don’t know what is. If it walks like a duck, looks like a duck, quacks like a duck… call it a duck.

DUCK

CRIPPLE

George Carlin had this to say about cripples:

Also, crippled people are crippled, they’re not differently-abled. If you insist on using tortured language like differently-abled, then you must include all of us. We’re all differently-abled. You can do things I can’t do; I can do things you can’t do. I can pick my nose with my thumb, and I can switch hands while masturbating and gain a stroke. We’re all differently-abled. Crippled people are simply crippled. It’s a perfectly honorable word. There is no shame in it. It’s in the Bible: “Jesus healed the cripples.” He didn’t engage in rehabilitative strategies for the physically disadvantaged.

Here’s my favorite one: “Differently weighted”. Yes I actually found that as an acceptable phrase for FAT. Oh, there’s more:

Fat – gravitationally challenged
Fat – horizontally challenged.
Fat – horizontally gifted
Fat – people of mass
Fat – person of substance

So if I’m with my sister and she introduces me to someone is she supposed to say “This is my sister Joan, she has an “Enlarged physical condition caused by a completely natural genetically-induced hormone imbalance.” ? And then I have to cane someone. Again. Get over it: I”M FAT!!! I admit it and let’s face it admitting it is the first step toward doing something about it.

George Carlin said it best about fat people:

Let’s get to some of these other non-victims. You probably noticed, elsewhere I used the word fat. I used that word because that’s what fat people are. They’re fat. They’re not large; they’re not stout, chunky, hefty, or plump. And they’re not big-boned. Dinosaurs are big-boned. These people are not necessarily obese, either. Obese is a medical term. And they’re not overweight. Overweight implies there is some correct weight. There is no correct weight. Heavy is also a misleading term. An aircraft carrier is heavy; it’s not fat. Only people are fat, and that’s what fat people are. They’re fat. I offer no apology for this. It is not intended as criticism or insult. It is simply descriptive language. I don’t like euphemisms. Euphemisms are a form of lying. Fat people are not gravitationally disadvantaged. They’re fat. I prefer seeing things the way they are, not the way some people wish they were.

It is what it is. I am a fat cripple but I won’t be for long 🙂

Trip to the Doctor!! Alien in my knee!! Broken Ass Update!!

I had a doctor appointment with my regular doctor yesterday. She’s wonderful and has been both my doctor and my daughter’s for about 17 years. I’m trying to hold off on replacing my two pointless knees until I lose more weight. My right knee hurts 24/7 because of a big bone spur. I also found out there was something “floating” around in it that no one had mentioned to me when I finally got around to seeing an orthopedist. I won’t take pain killers and I have weaned myself off prednisone because I don’t like taking that either. It does a number on your immune system besides having many other side affects. Plus my right knee still hurt when taking it so what’s the point.

I just want to know what’s floating about my knee and can they take it out and maybe that’s what’s causing the pain so now I have to go back to the orthopedist. I just hope it’s not an alien of some sort taking residence in my knee. One day I’ll look down and see it trying to pop out all on it’s own. Well at least that would eliminate surgery.

FREE, FREE AT LAST!!!

We also talked about my back and I am going to go to a pain management clinic. They will offer me pain meds which I will refuse so I hope they have something else up their sleeve. My doctor mentioned they can shoot steroids directly into my back. I just want to be sure they stay in my back and don’t spread everywhere else.

She was very happy with my weight loss though.

THAT’S ME–JUST MELTING AWAY__TOO BAD I HAD TO TURN GREEN TO DO IT AND WEAR THAT UGLY BLACK HAT.

We talked about why my ass still hurts when I sit back on it for my than a half hour. Jeesh, it’s been 4 1/2 months since I broke it but she said it could take a couple of more months before it’s completely healed. I won’t bother you with photos of broken asses. That would be too crass even for me. I promise, no crass ass around here.

I’m keeping it short today. I have to go make a crock pot dinner–spicy Chinese chicken thighs (boneless and skinless). I have to go to the chiropractor. My daughter wants me to go to the SUPER FREAKIN’ WALMART while I am there. We need more weight Watcher’s cheese. So off I go.

10,000 HITS

Well, I’m 2 shy of 10,000 hits. I never thought 10 people would ever read what I had to say. Who would have thought!!! OK, 1 more hit and then I can go grocery shopping. I’m not leaving until the damn thing turns to 10,000. It better hurry up. I don’t drive well in the dark and it will be dark soon.

DONE!!! It says 10,000.  Damn now I have to go grocery shopping!!!

Chiminea Goes Back

The kids went to the movies last night and I passed on going. It was a 9:15 PM showing and since I had gotten up early for weight watchers, I thought I might not be able to stay awake. I decided to open the box that the new chiminea was in. I figured I could put it together myself. It’s just a matter of following directions. The one problem is the thing was broken. A major part of it had cracked off.

I wanted to take pictures today of my Oasis but instead the kids are going to drive the 30 miles to exchange it and by the time they get back it will be raining–again.

So the only picture you get to see today is of my broken chiminea.

The kids are already planning on my birthday cookout which isn’t for three weeks. They are outside now cleaning up the yard. The following photos are from last year’s birthday cookout which was a surprise party. This year I know about it.

SOMEONE BUILT A SEMI CAIRN OUT OF BRICKS