The Post Office, The Accident, The Knife and The Police-All This morning

First of all, I didn’t hurt anyone nor was I hurt. I don’t want to scare anyone off from reading about my exciting morning. I went to weight watcher’s as I usually do on Saturday mornings. I always go to the Post Office afterwards. I was fortunate to have my daughter’s car (at least I thought so at the time) because it is so much better than mine. It was a beautiful Saturday morning. The sun was shining brightly, you could feel spring in the air.

I pulled into the parking lot of the PO and parked in my usual handicapped parking space. I went in and got my mail–all junk mail by the way. I got back in my car and started to pull out of the parking space. I had completely pulled out of the space and was getting ready to turn my car to the left to leave but noticed the person parked next to me had started backing out. Being in a good mood, I stopped and let him back out. He had PLENTY of room to back out and go left and leave the fucking parking lot. Instead he just keeps backing up, obviously not looking in his mirror to see if anyone might be in back of him. I’m thinking as he backs towards my car, he has plenty of room so he’s going to stop any second–but he doesn’t and backs right into my car my daughter’s car. WHACK!!!

Well, I couldn’t help myself, and I started yelling at him, grabbing my knife at the same time in case he’s a road rager and comes after me. Actually, at this point I am acting more like a road rager than anyone. He gets out of his car and I’m ready to have it out with him. What gets out is this little old, old, man with a tracheotomy. I quickly put my knife away. If he gets tough on me I always have my cane. But the thought of beating an old man with a cane who can’t even walk as well as I can and I am disabled, well that wouldn’t be right. So I calmed myself down as he approached my car.

He politely asked me “Where did you come from?” I actually laughed (I didn’t mean to, it just came out) and then I tried to explain to him what had happened and realized he was also somewhat deaf. Well I’m somewhat deaf (from listening to too much loud music ) and could hardly understand him because of the tracheotomy. I tell him I am going to call the police so that we can have a police report on file for insurance purposes. Actually, I am yelling at this point so he can hear me and I am saying the words very slowly so he will understand. Evidently he is in a hurry because he doesn’t want to wait for the police. Well, I had to be a little firm with him and tell him he had to wait or it would be considered a hit and run which probably isn’t true because we had exchanged information. But I didn’t want to take any chances. I wanted a police report on file. He was probably going to forget all this happened in about an hour anyway.

The policeman finally showed up after about a 1/2 an hour. They probably didn’t rush because there was no injury.

I’m not going to tell my daughter until she gets home. She’s had enough go wrong on her vacation. Their hot air balloon ride was canceled because of wind. She’s still dealing with that awful sunburn.

I only lost .6 pounds at weight watchers but it brought me down to 275 pounds so Sarah will have to give me the prize she promised me. I hope she still wants to after I banged up her car.

Now I have to spend Monday going to the insurance company, getting a copy of the police report and getting an estimate on the damage. What a pain in the ass. Do you know my ass still hurts if I sit on it too long. It’s been 3 1/2 months since I broke it.

I went back to the PO to take a photo of where I was waiting for him to back out of his parking space.

I was in the parking space closest to the building. You can see anyone backing out of any of those spaces had plenty of room.

After I went to the PO again, I drove to the beach. I stayed about an hour and then Sarah’s car wouldn’t start. Somehow I had “deadened” the battery. I was playing music so that must have done it. Thank goodness Barry was home and came and gave the car a jump. I finally made it home and don’t think I’m going to leave home again, at least not today.

I don’t think Sarah will be reading this because she can’t get on the internet at her hotel in Vegas because they charge you extra and she won’t pay it. But if you do read this Sweet Pea, I’m really sorry and it really wasn’t my fault. I love you!!!


29 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. teeni
    Apr 19, 2008 @ 20:21:09

    Oh my goodness – thankfully nobody was hurt! Yikes. I’m glad you didn’t have to go all ninja over the little old man too. 😉


  2. Wendy
    Apr 19, 2008 @ 21:04:51

    I’m really glad you’re okay. But oh how I hate that post office. The parking lot is too small. But I loved your post. This was hilarious: “He was probably going to forget all this happened in about an hour anyway.”

    Good thing Barry was home to come fix the dead battery. You guys really are like the teenagers and Sarah and Obie are the parents. It’s hilarious.


  3. Maxine
    Apr 19, 2008 @ 21:22:59

    I’da cut the old fucker, anyway, Joanie.

    Don’t worry – we’ll pray about it in church tomorrow.


  4. joanharvest
    Apr 19, 2008 @ 22:10:04

    @ teeni

    Well, I would have gone all Ninja if he wasn’t so old. If it had been a young guy I would have beat him. But the old man was actually very nice. We’ll see how that works out when he reports what happened to his insurance company.

    @ Wendy

    Yea, we are the teenagers , always looking for fun and very seldom finding it. You know that old man has already forgotten he was in a car accident today.

    @ Maxine

    I will be at church services tomorrow so that Reverend Mother Maxine will forgive me for wanting to knife the old man. Let us Pray!!!


  5. Moonbeam McQueen
    Apr 19, 2008 @ 22:26:20

    Wow Joan– you’re a toughie! I have a special collar that has a fake tracheotomy tube in the front, just for occasions like this. I also act like I’m deaf.


  6. aniche
    Apr 20, 2008 @ 03:39:39

    so, how was your day?


  7. Peter Parkour
    Apr 20, 2008 @ 07:04:19

    Yes, glad to hear you’re ok and that it was just a little fender bender. I had the same thing happen to me at the mall once, only it was a young teen driving a big/old truck.

    I may be crazy, but I always look back when backing out of a space. Novel idea I think. 😉


  8. Hannah
    Apr 20, 2008 @ 21:28:43

    Wow – I am so glad nobody was hurt! I don’t suppose it was funny at the time, but I am just imagining you with your knife and the little old man who was deaf, and you trying to talk clearly so he can hear you, but him not “getting it” … and I did have a little smile on my face. I hope everything turns out okay with insurance and getting the car fixed up.


  9. Laura
    Apr 21, 2008 @ 06:54:29

    You make a day full of little headaches sound funny! 🙂 Poor little-old-guy-who-shouldn’t-be-driving. I hate it when he gets in front of me in the passing lane, but I always feel kinda bad when I zoom past and give him the finger, then see it’s him … Okay, I don’t really do that, but I THINK about doing it.

    Something we have in common: I broke my ass, too! (Virtual high-five!) My pelvis was shattered in a car accident years ago. An ass is a most inconvenient thing to break, isn’t it? Aren’t church pews the absolute worst for Broken Ass Club members?


  10. joanharvest
    Apr 21, 2008 @ 12:00:50

    You broke yours in a bad way. All I did was fall on it. I wrote a blog about it:

    How long did yours take to heal?


  11. joanharvest
    Apr 21, 2008 @ 12:57:28

    @ Moonbeam
    I can picture you in your collar. Does it come with a leash?


  12. joanharvest
    Apr 21, 2008 @ 13:02:02

    @ Aniche

    That was quite a day. My poor daughter still doesn’t know about the car. I didn’t want to ruin her vacation. I have to out in a little while. I’m taking my car. It’s already all banged up (I used to let my son and my brother drive it–bad move).

    @ Hannah

    Actually, once I calmed down, it was sort of funny. I just hope my daughter thinks it’s funny when she finds out 🙂


  13. joanharvest
    Apr 21, 2008 @ 22:55:40

    @ Peter

    Somehow your comment ended up in my spam place. I just de-spammed you. I still haven’t told my daughter because I didn’t want to upset her vacation but she will be landing in Boston @ 6:30 AM. Her father is picking them up in her car and he’ll have to be the one to tell her.


  14. Peter Parkour
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 06:44:49

    Thank you for digging me out Joan. You’re a life saver. I goes with your daughter and her car. 😕 *gulp*


  15. Peter Parkour
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 06:46:23

    “I hope all goes well with your daughter and her car.”

    Yeah, it’s bed time. Buh-bye 🙂


  16. kaylee
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 14:57:51

    how are you? sorry to read that 😦


  17. Red
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 15:01:06

    At least noone was hurt .. but I bet you have some mean ninja style moves you coulda used on the little feller!


  18. joanharvest
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 15:11:05

    @ Kaylee

    I’m doing well. My kids just got back this morning from their trip to Vegas. Fortunately, the accident was just a fender bender. But I had to go to the police station this morning to get a copy of the accident report and now I have to go to the insurance company and then grocery shopping and then cook supper.

    How are you? Did you go to the baseball game??

    @ Red
    If the old man had been a young dude, I would have caned him. But how can you cane an old man? Though I did mange to give a young dude a $100 ticket for parking illegally in a handicapped space this morning. I see you around the blogs a lot. I better add you to my blogroll. I always get a laugh from your comments on Peter Parkours page. He cracks me up.


  19. joanharvest
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 15:38:08

    @ Peter

    Thank goodness I checked my spam. I certainly wouldn’t want to leave Peter Parkour in the spam room for too long.


  20. Melanie
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 16:44:23

    Oh my goodness- what a day! Glad everyone was okay.

    Our Happy Happenings
    Livin’ With Me


  21. joanharvest
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 18:16:31

    Thanks for stopping by. I stole your weight tracker idea. I think it will really help me to see those numbers everyday. I like your blog a lot and hope you don’t mind if I add you to my blogroll.

    Yes, Saturday was a crazy day but it all worked out in the end. Just like it always does.


  22. Lucky
    Apr 22, 2008 @ 21:52:20

    I am late to the party… as usual!

    SOOOOO….Sarah is home now! What is your prize???? 🙂

    Wendy is right…y’all are like teenagers. 🙂 Your stories crack me up.

    And LOL @ Moonbeam!


  23. kaylee
    Apr 23, 2008 @ 17:59:55

    Yes i am not doing that well but went to the baseball game ::)


  24. thegirlfromtheghetto
    Apr 26, 2008 @ 00:31:48

    Sometimes exchanging info is a bad idea. Call the police instead. If you hit someone and that someone later goes to or calls the police, and you didn’t, you can be charge with a Fail to Stop and ID @ a PDA or PIA. (Property Destruction Accident or Personal Injury Accident) This is considered a misdemeanor offense … and I am 100% for sure on this.


  25. romi41
    Apr 28, 2008 @ 22:54:43

    I just have this vision of you wielding your knife at this tiny old man, and I’m seriously laughing my ass off….hahaha….but hey i”m glad you were unhurt!!

    PS: how does that dude have a driver’s license? Insanity…


  26. joanharvest
    Apr 29, 2008 @ 17:42:57

    That dude shouldn’t have a license. If he does it should say “license to kill on it”.

    If he would have given me a tough time who knows what would have happened. He’s damn lucky I was in a good mood and he didn’t try to blame me. I don’t take any shit from little old men.


  27. Anne
    May 01, 2008 @ 04:39:15

    I don’t know how i missed this but i had nearly pee’d myself when you said you took out your knife in case he was road rager! Ha! Ha! Ha! You have such a great way with words. That little old man, bless his heart, but he needs to be off the road. 😦 That’s scary when they are not physically able to drive but keep doing it for one reason or another…


  28. joanharvest
    May 01, 2008 @ 10:49:41

    Hi Anne (that’s my middle name spelled with an E and my mother’s first name)

    I couldn’t even yell at the poor little guy. We already got the check for the full amount of the damages. It was so obviously his fault. I dread the day when I’m older and they tell me I can’t drive.


  29. duskydi
    Sep 03, 2008 @ 02:00:19

    Oh Joan.

    Laughing my arse off here. I can just imagine you with a knife at the ready – honest I can. and I’m laughing here the most as I see you laughing at the little diddery deaf old man.

    It seems to me that you get yaself in some right old situations and have some great adventures just minding your own buisness.

    How fantastic is that. Hope the car got mended. Glad no one was hurt and knifed.Good old Barry came to the rescue. Whoo Hoo !! Its so beautiful that your great friends isn’t.



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