I Don’t Even Know Where to Begin With This One!!!!

It’s a wasband story. To be honest with you, his stories are the best. I don’t want to go on about how funny and great I think he is because I don’t want him to get a big head. Well, actually that’s not true. He physically has a very small head. Really, we have always teased him about it. I think that’s why he always had a beard when we were young, so his head would look bigger. Though I think it has grown bigger as he ages. Can that happen?

But this story is so bizarre I can hardly write about it.

Anyway, the other night around 2:00 AM I was up and still at the computer. Barry tends to go to bed early or at least what I consider early which is anytime before midnight. Well, he came walking shuffling (we always call it the “Wilford Brimley Shuffle”) into the living room and plops down on his big chair.

He looked really depressed, which is unusual for him so I asked him what he was doing up so late. He told me he had a lot on his mind. I felt that he had something he wanted to talk about but was hesitant to bring up. So I pushed a little and said. “If there’s anything going on, tell me, I’m a good listener.” Mostly I just wanted him to go back to bed so I could finish the post I was writing. But he’s always been there for me and I wanted to do the same for him, even at 2:00AM in the morning.

What he told me next had my mind reeling. He said that his new female friend had told him something so shocking to him that he didn’t even know how to tell me. Evidently her father always wanted a son and instead he got her. He told me that she’s also very hairy. She doesn’t shave her legs or underarms, she quite often wears very mannish type clothing (though I never noticed that when I met her), and she’s been seeing a psychiatrist and a doctor. Then he drops the bomb on me. She’s thinking of having a sex change operation and is going to start taking hormones. She tells Barry that she has really come to love him and wants him by her side while she goes through this change.

At this point, my mouth is wide open and the images that are going through my mind, well, I can’t even write what I was thinking and seeing in my mind. The thing is Barry really likes this “woman”. She has a great personality and she’s a very caring person.

He tells me he doesn’t want to lose “her” but he also doesn’t think he can handle “her” as a “him”. But he really loves her as a human being. Barry is such a nice person. He would never want to hurt anyone so he’s telling me how confused he is about all of this. He’s really opening up to me about his confusion and feelings. I, at this point, am just speechless which very rarely happens. How do you react to something like this.

Our talk goes on for another ten minutes and then he drops the other bomb on me and says april fools. Honestly, I almost fell off my chair. If I had fallen off the chair and broken my ass I would have killed him. Instead we started laughing so hard. I’m surprised we didn’t wake up the kids. I was crying, I was laughing so much.

But this isn’t the whole story. This just reiterates how gullible I am. Almost every year for the past 20 years he has pulled April Fool’s jokes on me which are so good and seem so real that I have fallen for them every single time, hook, line and sinker.

Some of them have been so complicated and convoluted that it’s amazing he can come up with these. I can’t even describe them all. It would take too much of an explanation because some of them involved lawyers, and other people getting into the bit.

Once he told my sister and me who were on an astronomy binge at the time that a star had gone supernova (basically exploded) and you could see it in the SE with binoculars or my telescope. So my sister and I are outside for at least a half hour looking for the damn thing until he finally calls us back and says “APRIL FOOL’S.

This is what we expected to see.supernova1.jpg

Antoher time he calls me on the phone and tells me that he brought our son, Damon, to little league practice but they wouldn’t let him play anymore because I didn’t get his birth certificate to them on time. Well I knew no one had asked me to bring a birth certificate so I am ranting about how they are not going to get away with this. I’m telling Barry I will picket the little league coach’s house if I have to but my son will play. He loved baseball.

How could I not let this little boy play baseball.damon-little-league.jpg

I am going on and on and finally Barry starts laughing and I can hear Damon squealing in the background and Barry and Damon yell “APRIL FOOL’S. They got me again.

I can’t believe Barry got me again this year. If he had done it during the day I might have caught on but he did it at 2:00AM. I still thought it was the 31st.

Well now I have to wait a year to see if he can get me again.

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15 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. betme
    Apr 04, 2008 @ 14:58:56

    Oh My Gosh, that is hysterical! I was sitting here trying to think of clever things to say to ease Barry’s mind. hahahahaha… Next year he will need to start at 1:00am in order to get you.

    Have you ever tried to get him back?

    Reply

  2. teeni
    Apr 04, 2008 @ 16:19:52

    That was a riot! I had no idea where this all was going! And it seems his April Fool’s Jokes keep getting more and more elaborate. If you ever want to not fall for one of his jokes, I think you’d have to avoid him for the whole end of March/beginning of April. LOL. But you are a great sport, and it does make for some good storytelling. 🙂

    Reply

  3. thebeadden
    Apr 04, 2008 @ 17:48:10

    OMGoodness!!! Too funny. I’m trying to picture the look on your face when he was telling you this. ahahahahahaha

    Reply

  4. kaylee
    Apr 04, 2008 @ 18:41:40

    OMG Too funny!!!!

    Reply

  5. Moonbeam McQueen
    Apr 05, 2008 @ 00:57:21

    That is THE best April Fool’s joke, bar none! Hilarious that he stayed up that late just to pull it on you! The whole time I was reading, I was thinking “Leslie? That one in the picture? She doesn’t look masculine or hairy.

    You have time to start planning now, Joan. Next April 1st, it’s time for your revenge!

    Reply

  6. Lumpy
    Apr 05, 2008 @ 05:14:16

    He musta caught you off guard with the shuffling of his feet. Had he walked in all perky, you would have known something was wrong 🙂 I also, am the most gullible sucker on the planet and it pisses me off to no end. Because, once I’m hoodwinked ~ I have a hard time shaking it off… almost like I already bought into the story, so it’s still true. If that makes sense?
    Sounds like you two have a fun time :)…. or at least, he does!

    Reply

  7. joanharvest
    Apr 05, 2008 @ 11:55:07

    @Betme
    I’ve never tried to get him back. I think it’s about time that I do.

    @Teeni
    I just don’t know where he comes up with all his ideas for April Fools. I think I am the biggest April Fool for always falling for them

    @thebeadden

    I wish I had a photo of the look on my face. It was probably one of pure horror.

    @ Kaylee
    I’m glad you got a good laugh out of it. I know I did.

    @Moonbeam
    I’m going to need some help thinking up something good for him next year that he will fall for. Now we call Leslie, Lester. But she’s a good sport and knows all about it and actually came up with the name herself. I guess people have called her Lester as a nickname on occasion. I was thinking of Larry. Then we would have “The Story of Barry and Larry”.

    Reply

  8. joanharvest
    Apr 05, 2008 @ 12:01:02

    @ Lumpy
    Thanks for stopping by. I’ve just checked out your blog quickly but I will be back. It sounds like you have a great sense of humor which I am always in need of.

    My wasband (ex-husband) and I get along really well as roommates and have a great time together when he is home. He has a wicked sense of humor. And your right, him doing The Wilford Brimley shuffle at 2:00 AM in the morning had me convinced something was really wrong.

    Reply

  9. Wendy
    Apr 05, 2008 @ 22:58:17

    Oh my Gawd! I’m laughing so hard … I already had my email to you and Barbara mentally written by the time I saw “April Fools!” It’s kind of too bad, because I had so much to say about this. Now I have no one to say it to or any reason to say it. 🙂

    Reply

  10. Peter Parkour
    Apr 06, 2008 @ 07:33:43

    I was buying it. You’re not gullible, you’re just trusting of the Wasband. He uses that fact to his advantage.

    All I could think as I read along was “we can be friends, but the relationship is over”. 😉 Not a curious bone in my body, and I would want to keep it that way. Keep that bone to yourself. 😛 Ha!

    Reply

  11. joanharvest
    Apr 06, 2008 @ 12:36:24

    @Wendy
    When I wrote the post I had The April fools in all capital letters but Sarah said to put it in all small letters so as people read it they would believe it just like I did. I guess it worked.

    @Peter
    My wasband loves women so if it were real he would have in the end felt the same way as you. That curiosity bone would have stayed where it belonged. (I think). LOL

    Reply

  12. Lucky
    Apr 06, 2008 @ 20:37:58

    Sarah was right…I fell for it! I did the whole OH-MY-GAWD-hand-over-the-mouth!! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA Then I laughed ’til I cried. That is so dang funny!! You SO have to get him back. I bet Sarah would help you.

    Reply

  13. CuriousC
    Apr 07, 2008 @ 09:33:20

    Gosh, I immediately thought, “Joan! You can’t be telling this on the internet when you posted the poor girl’s picture!” Good one. You got us all.

    Reply

  14. David
    Apr 07, 2008 @ 12:07:32

    Don’t feel bad, I was fooled too, via email no less, from two former coworkers. I had to make a phone call to find out it was not true that my coworker’s husband might lose both legs due to an accident and that they might up and move to California. D’OH!

    Reply

  15. joanharvest
    Apr 10, 2008 @ 01:24:06

    @ Lucky
    Sarah would definitely help me to get him next year. We just have to come up with something really believable.

    @CuriousC
    When I posted it, I was thinking people might think that. Leslie was such a good sport about it. We still call her Lester.

    @David
    Thank goodness that one wasn’t true. I just wish I would learn my lesson and not fall for it every year. You would think I would learn. But he is always so believable.

    Reply

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