How I will spend New Year’s Eve

I usually spend New Year’s Eve with Dick Clark by myself while the kids go out and celebrate my daughter’s birthday. Sometimes we have a party here. This year my niece is having a party at her house. It’s a come anytime party which is good because me and my sore tail bone will go with my sister and her husband and my sister never stays very long. She’s like an eat and run kind of gal. They’ll have a special chair set up for me as I hobble in. We will celebrate my daughter’s birthday there and then I can go home and she and her husband and my wasband will go to a bar to meet all of my daughter’s friends. My wasband is the designated driver so I don’t have to worry about anyone driving when they shouldn’t.

The Kitchenaid mixer that we ordered for her didn’t come yet so I will put a picture of it in a box and wrap it.firstkitchenaid.jpgThis is the first ever Kitchenaid made. This is the picture I will put in the box.

And when she asks about it I can just say “You didn’t think we were going to buy you a new one, did you?”. Of course, we did buy her a new one. She wanted the one just under the professional version. Now keep in mind she will probably only use it once a year. Who’s crazier, us for buying it or her for wanting it?

It’s just as well I don’t go to a bar with them because I probably would drink and probably would fall again and have multiple tailbone breaks.

I just read somewhere that Dick Clark is scheduled to appear tonight and say a few words. Poor guy finally did get old. Ryan Seacrest is taking his place.


I’ll probably just flip channels or watch The Twilight Zone marathon on Sci Fi. Or I’ll fall asleep in my chair if I can get comfortable.

I hope everyone has a Happy New Year!!!!!


How I broke my ass

I don’t know if it’s really broken but I can’t believe falling on it could make it hurt so much. I guess technically it’s called the coccyx or tailbone.

I got this info off a website:

To help prevent a coccyx fracture:

  • Wear protective gear.
  • Eat a diet rich in calcium and vitamin D.
  • Do weight-bearing exercises to build strong bones.
  • Build strong muscles to prevent falls.

Well, too late for all of that. And what protective gear should I have had on when I went to the bathroom in the middle of the night. I didn’t bring my new ergonomically correct black cane that I got for Christmas with me. The bathroom is only a few feet down the hall. Granted it was dark in the bathroom and as I reached for the light there was a towel hanging off a chair and my left foot slid on it and I fell on my coccyx. I fell hard and I’m not as fat as I was so I don’t have all the padding that I used too. My kids sleep downstairs, it must have sounded like thunder, the house must have shook because I may have lost some weight but I’m still a large woman. They didn’t even wake up. Fortunately I was able to get up myself with out waking them.

I still want to know what protective gear I should have had on. Are there ass protectors that I don’t know about? Padded pajamas?

I guess I need a doughnut and for the first time I don’t mean the kind you can eat. My wasband thinks I should go to the emergency room but he’s sort of a hypochondriac and I hate the emergency room. Talk about germs. I also read there’s not much you can do about it even if it is broken and the website I was on said the Doctor will do a rectal exam. I don’t think so. The toilet is the only comfortable seat in the house, of course only with the seat up. But I can’t sit there all day, there’s no TV in the bathroom. The computer chair isn’t too bad because I’m sitting at the edge of it so my tailbone doesn’t touch down. But that gives me a backache. I took Advil. Didn’t help. I don’t think there’s a quick fix for a broken ass.

I can’t even put photos in this blog. I don’t think anyone really wants to see it.

When I called my sister to tell her about it we started laughing so hard it made it hurt more. Through all the laughter, she’s telling her husband and I can hear him howling in the backround. When I told my daughter she tried hard to look concerned and serious because I was in pain but you could see the twinkle of laughter in her eyes. Why is someone falling on their ass so funny.? I couldn’t stop laughing when I was telling my sister.

Well I don’t have a doughnut and my kids went out so I’m going to try to make one so I can sit in my comfortable chair in my room and watch TV.

It’s my daughter’s birthday tomorrow so I have to talk the wasband into doing all my errands. That ought to go over like a lead balloon. But he’ll do it, he always does.

Fear of colds, flu and pneumonia. Antibacterial products or not

Last year I had pneumonia, actually double pneumonia. When my son-in-law called an ambulance because I couldn’t make it to his car, that’s when we both knew I had waited a little too long to see a Doctor.


He kept very cool and calm . I didn’t. When the medics tried to lay me down on their gurney, I fought them. I mean I really fought them, punching one in the arm. I didn’t want to lay down. It made me feel like I was drowning. I wanted to sit up and I was going to sit up if it killed me- or them. At that point it didn’t matter. Unfortunately it was three against one and they won. It was all for insurance purposes that I had to lay down and be strapped in. I gave a good fight but lost. They did try hard to raise the back of the gurney but it wasn’t enough. I needed air and I needed it now. We all finally made it into the ambulance and they put something over my mouth. It wasn’t oxygen, they had already stuck that up my nose. It was probably a nebulizer with meds in it. Thank goodness, it worked fast and I finally felt like I was getting some air. Then it hit me. I must have looked like some crazy person to them. I did apologize for whacking the one that I did. He was fine about it, said it happens all the time. I got well after three weeks in the hospital and a rehab center.

fh-mob2.jpgFalmouth Hospital

heritage-falmouth.jpgJML Carer Center

Now, the point of all of this is ever since it happened my sister and I are very afraid of germs and bacteria and other nasties you find on money and doorknobs and grocery carts (one of the worst, so I’ve been told by my paranoid sister). In one of the smaller grocery stores in town, they actually have a vat of antibacterial wipes you can use after you shop. But I got my sister covered for Christmas.I gave her a pen shaped thing you can carry with you in your pocketbook then just spray it on your hands and voila , no germs–hopefully. I also got her the wipes in single packs to carry around with her but I left myself defenseless. I have nothing. But then again, do I really need anything. They say you need to expose your body to some germie things so you will build up your immune system towards them. What a dilemma ? To wipe or not to wipe. I know I don’t want to fight paramedics anymore.

I take all sorts of natural immune boosters. Maybe that will help. But is it enough? Where does it end. Hopefully not with me in the hospital again. Though the food at our local hospital is awesome. It’s like a restaurant, you get all these choices and it actually tastes good. I know a few ladies who actually meet there once a week for lunch. Unfortunately, the food at the Rehab center wasn’t so great. I think their nutritionist was on drugs. I was on there so called low fat diet and I gained 7 lbs. OK, so a few people did bring me snacks. But only popcorn and corn crackers. OK, so I did sneak into the kitchen and got little tubs of peanut butter and stuffed them in my pockets for the crackers.

But, should I go to the store and buy antibacterial wipes. I could at least wipe off the grocery shopping carts

shopping_cart.gifThey probably all have the flu.

and doorknobs and telephones. My son-in-law is catching a cold again. He got a cold just before I got pneumonia last year so I’m staying as far away from him as possible but he touches stuff. Maybe I should buy plastic gloves. Maybe I should just go to a motel.   Oh Lord, I just touched my eyes and I don’t know if my hands are clean or if I touched something my son-in-law touched. He’s in the kitchen cooking turkey soup.  You can bet your ass I’m not eating it. It’s a weight watchers dinner tonight. Hopefully it’s been frozen long enough to kill germs.

Guilty of not Blogging and putting Christmas pigs first

So , this year I wasn’t going to be a Christmas pig, but I succumbed and Pigged out. I bought more than I should have and got a whole load of cool presents. I got an ergonomically cool cane, fairy stuff and dragon stuff, and cooking stuff ,books, 5 calendars (cool ones), PC games, 2 books about Buddhism, a witch calendar, a fairyopolis calendar, a bird calendar with all the photos done by my Wasband (short for ex-husband), he is the best bird photographer in New England.


I don’t know what happened to the two or three gifts we were going to get each other. I think I got the most prizes.

cheesy-wasband.jpg This is the Wasband. He likes to take pictures of himself. We have so many now, we are going to make a calendar of just pictures he’s taken of himself for Christmas next year. He only does it at special occasions.

So Wendy, has always come for Christmas eve and we missed her a lot.

me-christmas-eve-talking-on-the-phone-wirh-wendy.jpg Here, I am talking to Wendy on Christmas Eve.



My niece, Emily, My daughter , Sarah, My sister Barbara and me in the front, Christmas Eve.

catnip-crazed-kittys.jpgCatnip crazed Kitties

christmas-morning.jpgchristmas-toast.jpgChristmas morning

my-son-in-law-daughter-and-son.jpgMy son-in-law, daughter, and son

I’m sort of glad it’s over. I love Christmas, but it is a lot of work, shopping, wrapping,  Christmas cards, baking, cooking and my son coming home. As a recovering heroin addict I didn’t know if my daughter would let him stay with us. But she did, and everyone got along amazingly well. He is doing really well now, working, girlfriend (nice one) and taking care of himself. It was so good to see him. I haven’t seen him in three months which is a long time for me. It was the first Christmas in three years we have all been together. He even had presents for all of us. Last year he spent Christmas in a Psyche ward. I have a weight problem and he inspires me. If he can stay off heroin , I can stay off eating crap.

Wendy’s son , Sam and my son Damon have been friends since they were 7 or 8 years old. They have gone through so much together but this year they both look so healthy and good.

We had a wonderful Christmas. Now I look forward to the peace and calm of the next few months before the tourists show up again. I love this time of the year. A good fire in the fireplace, a good book, a cup of tea, what more could you want (except new episodes of Lost).

I’ll try to write more now that Christmas is over. If I didn’t have to cook a gourmet meal for the family every night I would have more time, but they would probably throw me out if I didn’t .

I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas

Today on Cape Cod, the weather people are calling for 1 to 11 inches of snow. Now if you ask me that’s a big spread. The cape is divided into three areas, upper, middle and lower Cape where Provincetown is. We live on the upper Cape, not too far from the bridge which gets you onto the Cape. They are calling for the 11 inches for us and the one inch for the lower Cape. Though in January, 2005 we got three feet of snow in one storm.

damon-blizzard.jpgMy son, Damon. He shoveled a lot that night. He stayed up all night and shoveled every couple of hours.

house-snowstorm-2.jpgThe next day. That’s the tree we just had cut down. I don’t remember ever getting that much snow here in the 33 years I’ve lived in this house.

I was going to go shopping today but it is noontime and it is already snowing. I like to go to town at least once a day. Usually I go to the post office to get the mail and then drive by the beach. I don’t think I’ll be going out today.

We don’t usually get a lot of snow on the Cape. It’s cooler in the summer and warmer in the winter but this is a coastal storm. My daughter commutes by boat to Martha’s Vineyard every day to work. I hope she makes it home tonight. We are supposed to be baking tonight. tools.jpg We give out homemade Christmas treats every year to friends as gifts, about 20 people. We don’t make the kind of cookies that people get and then throw away because their overcooked or just bad. We make chocolate covered peanut butter balls, chocolate covered saltines (sounds weird, but it’s one of the favorites), Tollhouse chocolate chip cookies that we don’t overcook (that’s the key to chocolate chip cookies. You take them out of the oven before they look done), and lastly, these white chocolate covered lo mein noodles (sounds weird but they are really good). The only ones that need baking are the chocolate chip cookies. It’s still a lot of work, but we play Christmas music and enjoy our time together.

All her friends have heard about her Christmas gift bags and try to get on her list of recipients. That’s why we are up to 20 people now.

I offered to do some baking during the day when I’m home but she wouldn’t have it. As she said it defeats the purpose. As always she has to do it herself, though she will accept my help if we are together. Just like when Sarah was a child, I’ve mentioned this in another blog, her old saying I guess still applies “Let Tawa do it”.

radar5.gifCurrent radar. I actually love snowstorms. Especially now that I don’t work and have to go anywhere. I’ve got a fire going in the fireplace, a cup of coffee, and a computer. What more could I want. I just lit the Christmas tree.

Christmas Pigs

My sister, Barbara, and I were talking today on the telephone. First, I have to mention, she lives one street over from me and I hardly ever see her, maybe twice a month. It’s not that we don’t love each other, because we do. She is my best friend, my free therapist, ( I also pay someone for therapy), more like a mother to me than my mother ever was, my confidant. She’s also my daughter’s free therapist and is able to talk to my daughter about me and talk to me about my daughter yet keep the confidentiality for both my daughter and I. She’s not even a real therapist but she’s good at it. It’s just we like to talk on the phone. We don’t need to see each other all the time because we talk on the phone at least 5-7 times a day. Some talks last an hour. You wouldn’t think we would have so much to talk about. There’s a lot of gossip involved. You all know by now I am the neighborhood spy and my sister’s a pretty good spy too. We also live in a smallish town so everyone knows everyone. So there is always someone to talk about. We also talk about our kids a lot.


Anyway, we were talking on the phone. I was on my cell phone parked in front of the bookstore where she had been just a half hour before me and she was at home. We miss each other in town all the time. I call from my cell phone to tell her what I just bought and she will say “Oh, I was just there.”. We were talking about Christmas and how this year we were both trying to spend less. In the past we have both gotten way too carried away with buying presents for our families. That’s when we decided we were Christmas Pigs. We love getting lots of presents, not like just one or two bigger ones but lots of smaller ones too, so we have lots of stuff to open. We also decided when we were younger we liked surprises under the tree. And I’m not talking that much younger either, but now as we get older we just want what we want. Make a list, give it to who ever is in charge of buying all our presents and tell them to just get everything on it. That’s a Christmas Pig.


This year is going to be different. No more Christmas Pigs. A couple of gifts each and a Christmas stocking. I guess I won’t be getting the laptop or HDTV I wanted. Since I do all the cooking I envision cooking utensils. Maybe a nice set of wooden spoons and a can opener. But I don’t want to be a Christmas Pig this year anyway. I want to enjoy the season and my family and all that crap. Did I say crap? I meant stuff. No, seriously, maybe I’ll go Christmas caroling on my street. I would have to go in a wheel chair and it’s not motorized and most of my street is dirt. Could be a challenge. The challenge would be getting someone in my family to go with me. My sister, definitely not. She hardly ever leaves her house. We’re both a little agoraphobic. Actually we do fairly well if we don’t have to leave town and she wouldn’t want to push the wheel chair anyway (we know I go to weight watchers and I’m not a light weight). She’d never go. My daughter can’t carry a tune and she knows it and wouldn’t want to embarrass herself. My son-in-law, not on his life. Possibly, my ex-husband but I’d have to do something in return, like his laundry for a year.

I guess I’ll just listen to Christmas music on the radio. I need to get into the non materialistic mode, the unselfish mode, the give to the poor people mode. But it’s hard to stop being a Christmas Pig when you’ve been one for so long, though not having any money does make it a lot easier. A Christmas Pig doesn’t only want presents but loves buying them. My daughter and I can shop for 8 hours at a time easily. But financially we are not where we used to be, probably from spending too much on past Christmases.

So we decorated the tree tonight to put us all in the Christmas spirit. This is a photo of this year’s tree, not quite finished decorating. Notice the size. My daughter picked it out.


Now this is last year’s tree. I picked it out. Notice how much smaller it is.


Notice, my tree last year is even on a table. Years ago our trees reached the ceiling. We would buy 10 foot trees. This year’s looks about 8 feet. But I didn’t have to decorate it (I just watched), so I don’t care how big it is.

Once all the presents are wrapped and under the tree, we’ll see if we turn into Christmas pigs or control ourselves and not get into more debt.

How can you miss a tree?

We have two Swamp Maples in our front yard . They are the only two trees in the yard that turn pretty colors in the fall. I live on a street that is filled with White Pines. They are not pretty trees. They snap in half during the smallest wind storms. My sister who lives on the next street has lost 12 Pines during storms. One even had the nerve to land on her house.

About a year ago we had to have a new septic system put in and for some reason we were not allowed to put it in the backyard where it was. We were told it had to go in the front yard. I think it’s because we have a vernal pool in our back yard. Anyway, when they put in the system, they tore up the front yard with their digging and what not. They also tore up the roots to one of my Maple trees. This tree also leans toward the house and looks like it could land right on my bedroom if it fell during a Northeaster, which it probably would since it didn’t have a good root system.

yoda-looking-at-tree.jpg Yoda watching the tree come down. So far they had only removed the branches.

tree-is-cut.jpg That’s what’s left of my Maple tree that’s been with me for 33 years.

Now I have a complete view of the empty welfare house across the street. I won’t need to hide in the bushes to see what’s going on over there anymore. I can just turn off the lights in the house and watch from the window. If it’s daytime, maybe I can buy some cheap tab curtains for the window and hide behind them. I can poke little eye holes in the curtains just big enough for my binoculars to fit through.


The new people, whoever they are, probably won’t notice anyway. The chances of them being on drugs is good. A number of tenants there have been druggies and they don’t notice anything. I can do all the spying I want. I still don’t have a good Big Ear. Well, Christmas is coming. I’m somewhat deaf from listening to loud music when I was a kid so it will have to be a good Big Ear. Something a private detective would use.

The thing is, I have no curtains in any of my windows in the house. I find them claustrophobic. Point being, if I can see them, they can see me. But I don’t do anything weird except talk to the cats when I am alone.

It’s very strange to look out the window and not see that tree. I already had some guy walking his dog yesterday and wave at me while I was on the computer which is directly in front of the window. I have no clue as to who he was. But I was polite and waved back. Actually , he might live next door. My kids were telling me they got a new dog . But no one there has ever even said hello to me, never mind wave. Who knows what this tree coming down has done. I don’t want to know my neighbors, I just want to spy on them.spying-book.jpgLooks like an interesting book.

Now don’t take me too seriously. I don’t do any illegal spying. I can’t see their bathroom or bedrooms. I can barely see them in the kitchen or living room. I do spy whenever the police show up or they are outside yelling at each other.

vintage-concealed-camera.jpgThought these vintage spy cameras were interesting too, compared to the technology that exists now for spying which I don’t own any of. Just to clarify that.

The Widows’ Adventures

My sister recommended this book to me.the-widows-adventures.jpg It is well worth reading. The basic premise — a blind woman driving while her sighted sister (who can’t drive) gives directions — doesn’t begin to scratch the surface of the book. Beautiful, scary and funny all at once. They feel they have to get from Chicago, where they live, to California. I suppose it reminds me of something my sister and I would do if we could drive over the bridge.749px-cape_cod_bourne_bridge_and_railroad_bridge.jpg We both have driving issues. We live on Cape Cod and the only way to get off the Cape is to drive over one of two bridges. Neither one of us can do it. Once I get over the bridge I get panic attacks, bad ones. The road starts moving and I start shaking and my heart starts pounding. It’s just an accident waiting to happen. I can drive over the bridge if my daughter or son is driving the car, though I only do it if I have to. I can’t remember the last time my sister went over the bridge.

About twelve or thirteen years ago, Barbara and I decided to go visit our mother who had dementia and had been temporarily put in a hospital about 30 miles over the bridge. I was going to drive and we would go the back way on back roads and not use the highway. That’s the last time the two of us together tried to go over the bridge. We made it to the hospital but came very close to calling someone to come and get us. But I became determined to get us home. With my sister’s encouragement we made it. Triumphant!!! Notice she wouldn’t take the wheel though. But we would never do it again.

But then I think, if our daughters were a thousand miles away and needed us (I can’t even imagine why they would), could my sister and I make the drive? We certainly couldn’t fly, at least not without drugs and alcohol which you really can’t do if you drive. There’s always a bus, but I don’t trust very many people’s driving. I will drive with my sister at the wheel but only in town. I will drive over the bridge but only with my son, daughter, or ex-husband at the wheel (and not too far). I certainly won’t drive with some strange bus driver, who probably spent the last half hour at a bar.bus.jpg

Fortunately, the Cape has everything I need. My whole family lives here, except my son who can drive here anytime he wants to. He likes to drive. Right now he does valet parking at a children’s hospital in Buffalo. If he wants to see me, he knows where I live. Actually, the poor thing really can’t drive here anytime he wants. His minivan hardly runs. But he’s learning a life lesson right now and that is you have to work for what you want, not just expect your parents to hand it over to you. Anyway I digress. If I can’t find what I want on the Cape, there’s the internet, which is where I buy most of my stuff anyway. So I really don’t need to go over the bridge. So why worry about it. I’ve got lots of other things I can worry about.