Meme of 7 factoids

Wendy from “Life with Buck” tagged me for a meme. A meme is sort of like a chain letter but without the death threats. It’s when you write about a theme and tag people whom you hope will do the same.

In this meme, you’re supposed to do the following:

1) Link to the person that tagged you, and post the rules on your blog.
2) Share 7 facts about yourself.
3) Tag 7 random people at the end of your post, and include links to their blogs.
4) Let each person know that they have been tagged by leaving a comment on their blog.

#1 Meme is what I called my grandmother and what my children called my mother. 47b7d638b3127cce98548e5c097e00000027102lztmzhjo.jpgIt is French
slang for grandmother. So when I saw the meme thing I thought I was supposed to write about my mother and my grandmother. I guess not. But I had been shopping all day and my brain was addled. The photo is of my mother(Meme) and Gubby, my father. Speaking of my mother, she once washed out my mouth with soap when I was probably only four for swearing. I doubt that I even understood what I had said. But I got the soap anyway. My sister is six years older than me and my brother is 8 years older so I probably got the word from them. They also once, when I was a little older tried to get me to say all the swear words I knew. Thank goodness my mother didn’t find out about that. My mother is probably rolling over in her grave because I say motherfucker about 20 times a day.

2. I don’t condone driving drunk. Please remember that when you read this. When I was about 18 years old my best friend, Nancy, and I used to hang around Brown University looking for guys. We lived about a half hour away. Well, we went to a frat party and then got very, very, drunk and realized we had to drive home. We ended up driving the car together. I did the gas and the brakes and she did the steering, most of the time. I occasionally had to grab the wheel if we got too close to the trees. As we approached my house we saw a sawhorse in the road with flashing lights on it warning us of a pothole. We stopped and put it in the trunk of the car. When we got to my house we put it in my backyard near the woods where we thought my father wouldn’t see it. But of course the next day he saw the flashing lights and couldn’t imagine how it got there. It was always a mystery to him because I never told him the truth. The real mystery is how we managed to get home alive without cracking up the car and why we took the sawhorse in the first place.

3. I hate cartoons. I didn’t like them when I was a kid and I don’t like them now. I really don’t know why I don’t like them. When my kids were little I would leave the room whenever they had cartoons on. I also despised Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers made me nauseous. My daughter loved cartoons, My Little Pony,mylittleponyplate.jpg Rainbow Brite. Sometimes she would want me to watch them with her and being a good mother I did and hated every minute of it. I did like Howdy Doody when I was a kid. But he wasn’t a cartoon. I guess I could tolerate puppets. My favorite show as a kid was Miss Francis’ Schoolhouse. Now that was 54 years ago, give or take. That’s where I learned how to make paste out of flour and water. I also learned how to make something out of Ivory Snow laundry detergent and water but I can’t remember what it was. Barbara might remember.

4. I loved Algebra so much in high school, that at night I would go out on our front porch and do Algebra problems just for fun. Once in high school they gave a logarhythm problem to everyone in all the math classes. I was the only one to get it correct in the whole high school. Now I can’t even remember what a logarhythm is.

5. When I was twelve, my girlfriend and I were playing Barbie dolls on a blanket in her yard. It was a beautiful summer day. Her Barbie was in love with President Kennedy. I don’t think my Barbie loved anyone but herself. Anyway , we were both looking down at the blanket, trying to decide what our Barbies should be wearing for an evening out when I looked up at Nancy and there was a big black and white cowworld_cow.jpg standing about one foot behind her. I screamed, she screamed (not really knowing why ) and even the cow screamed in a mooish sort of way. We lived right down the street from Cumberland farms and I don’t mean the store. We lived in Cumberland, R.I. right down the street from the Cumberland farms cows and they had gotten loose. The rest of the herd was rampaging through the backyards of all the little ranch houses on our street. I remember slowly getting up and then it was one for all and all for one. I ran like hell not looking back to see what happened to Nancy. She could have been trampled for all I knew. This wasn’t my first run in with a cow. Down the road a piece was another cow, the only cow these people owned and one day after school he got loose and started chasing me down the road. I dropped my bookbag and made it home and had to send my brother back for my bag. So I never took any chances with cows. When I saw one I ran.

6. I don’t know how to swim. Imagine living 1 mile from the best beaches on Cape Cod and not knowing how to swim. I flunked swimming lessons when I was 12 years old.drowning.jpg That’s the same year the cows were always after us. Could there be a connection? Nah! I just think I have an unresonable fear of the water. Both my kids swim like fish. As a matter of fact, my son is a fisherman. He’s a first mate on charter boats when he can get the jobs. It’s amazing they ever learned how to swim. I couldn’t even go with them when they learned. A neighbor of mine taught them down at the pond where we live and their father also helped to teach them. I’m glad I didn’t lay that fear on them.

7. I am an internet junkie, a food junkie (though I’ve lost 50 lbs.) and the worst one–I am a reality TV show junkie. I will watch almost any reality TV show. Of course there are some I like more than others, but I will watch them all. I doubt that there are any I haven’t seen. I’ve watched some that are so bad the network took them off before they even finished. It ‘s probably the same reason I spy on my neighbors. I have been known to hide in the bushes in our front yard with binoculars so I could see what was going on across the street. It’s a welfare house and some very shady people have lived there. I can’t count the number of times the police have been there or at other houses on my street (including mine, more than once because of my son) . It makes life interesting though. I have a police scanner so I can keep track of what’s going on. I can’t stand it when I don’t know what’s going on. I am really the Fly on the Wall. Watch out for me, you never know where I’ll land.47926072flyonthewallwebsized.jpg

OK, there’s my seven . But I don’t know one other person with a blog except Wendy and I can’t send this back to her.At least she and my sister will read it.

10 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Barbara
    Nov 29, 2007 @ 14:08:32

    Not only does Joan hide in the shrubbery to spy on her neighbors, but she once bought a Big Ear, which was a wand you could aim at people so you could eavesdrop. She and I drove around for an entire evening with the Big Ear hanging out the car window. Unfortunately it was a cheap piece of junk and we didn’t get to overhear a damn thing.

    And then there was the time we were driving around one night and saw what we were certain was a flying saucer hovering along the coast. We were so sure of it, we discussed whether we should attempt to escape when it beamed us up or if we should go along for the ride….

    Reply

  2. joanharvest
    Nov 29, 2007 @ 19:54:51

    Oh, I so remember the flying saucer episode. I mean, we were really serious about whether we would go or not. I mean let’s face it, it would be a chance of a lifetime. Sort of like that guy in Close encounters of the Third Kind. What Barbara didn’t tell you was what the UFO actually turned out to be. It was a small airplane with a banner behind it. The banner was lit up in lites and it was nighttime. We followed it all over town until we finally realized what it was and what the banner said “Vote for Eric Turkington” or some other guy who was running for something. It was sort of a disappointment to me. I knew I’d miss the kids but as long as the aliens were nice to me and returned me home after a few months. What the hell.

    And yes, I do remember the Big Ear. That piece of crap. I wanted it to work so badly. I think at the time we both wanted to be private detectives but were to afraid of most everything to become one.

    Reply

  3. Life With Buck
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 01:26:06

    Okay, I have TON OF STUFF TO SAY about these facts but I can’t see very well (Barbara can tell you why) and my goddamned computer is overheating. It’s a laptop and I accidentally left it on all day without the fan running. I LOVE these facts … they are fucking hilarious. You made my night! I’ll be back here in the morning, commenting on each one. I love them.

    Reply

  4. CuriousC
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 10:33:52

    Yes! Very funny! I love how you give extensive background story to your “7 things”. #2 – ‘borrowing’ the lighted sawhorse!??! both driving?!?! wow. #5 – I once met a longhorn cow in the middle of a street (I was in my car) with woods close on both sides. NO WHERE to go. It was a stand off. I called 911. #7 – Do you enjoy Project Runway? I’m going to go read more of your posts!!

    Reply

  5. Emily
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 10:48:56

    I too, am a reality show junkie. I can’t get enough of them and it really doesn’t matter what they are, except the Real Housewives one on Bravo. I can’t tolerate those over done women.

    You’d love our neighborhood, too. The cops occassionally drag our next door neighbor away after he’s gotten wasted and starts screaming at the woman who lives behind him (with which he had an affair–he’s married). The last time he got all fired up at her, John and I were hiding on the living room floor next to the window so we could here what he was yelling.

    I love that picture of Meme and Gubby, by the way. I still can’t figure out why she wore that wig all those years, she had such beautiful hair.

    Reply

  6. joanharvest
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 13:01:12

    CuriousC:
    I watch Project Runway. I also love Top Chef on that station. My sister, Barbara, watches absolutely no TV except for Project Runway. Even her husband watches it. They have big discussions about it. I Tivo it so I can rewind it if I have to, just to be sure I haven’t missed anything. Thanks for reading my blog.

    Emily:
    I have to admit I have even watched the Housewives one. But not too many times. I think Meme was too lazy to bother with her hair, easier to slap a wig on.

    I can just picture the two of you hiding by the window. I’ve done it so many times I’ve lost count. The police were across the street twice in the past few weeks. Finally last week they just moved out and now it’s empty. God only knows who will move in next.

    Reply

  7. Life With Buck
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 15:03:14

    I have always wanted one of those Big Ear things, and I’m so glad I read Barbara’s review or I might have bought one.

    Buck and I watch reality shows, I’ve even gotten him into Project Runway the past couple seasons, but we loathe that Real Housewives show. What a waste that show is. We love Kitchen Nightmares, however. Fascinating.

    Joan! That photo of Soupy and your mom is excellent, and your mom has the same expression on her face that Barbara makes. She looks about the same height as my mother, which was like 5’1″.

    #2 You are so freaking funny. And horrifying. But we all did that awful drunk driving back in the day, didn’t we? God, it makes me shudder to remember it. When I was 18 I’d been at an all-night party at David’s frat house and for some reason they all thought I was the most qualified to drive us home. I had six guys in the car, and I drove with one hand over my left eye so I could focus. Ithaca, New York. Snow was about four feet deep. Someone told me the next day that I pulled up to the sidewalk in front of our house at about 5mph. A minute later the driver’s side door opened and I just fell out onto the snow. I left them all there in the car. It was like -2 degrees outside. I’m probably going to hell.

    #5 made me laugh out loud. I could picture the whole thing.

    #7 I am all of those things, too. Except I haven’t lost 50 pounds; I’ve gained 5 pounds in the past month or so. You really are my hero. And eavesdropping in your neighborhood really is fun. I loved the Phats.

    Reply

  8. Life With Buck
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 15:05:23

    I forgot to mention that all those frat guys I left in the car were passed out drunk. None of them died or froze to death, luckily.

    Reply

  9. Life With Buck
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 15:06:21

    I actually have a history of leaving drunks passed out in cars. I’ve done it three times in my life. I guess I have no sympathy for drunks.

    Reply

  10. joanharvest
    Nov 30, 2007 @ 15:30:25

    I love Kitchen Nightmares too. You can watch Gordon’s British version of it on BBC America. I like Hell’s kitchen too. Actually I like all the cooking ones, Top Chef and The Next New Iron Chef. Like I said I watch them all. I left my ex-husband passed out in the bathtub once. There was no water in it. I didn’t want to drown him.

    The cow thing is absolutely true. My friend, Nancy and I had other cow adventures too. We used to sit on this big rock where the cows grazed and screamed and yelled at them to try to get them stampeding. But they were lazy ass cows and mostly just stood there looking at us. We didn’t know about cowtipping at the time. I’m sure if we did we would have tried to tip a few.

    Reply

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