I was reading my friend Wendy’s blog about What scares you and I left her a comment about the two scariest movies I’ve ever seen. Then I started thinking about what has scared me the most in real life, you know, things that have really happened. The first being the 44 packets of heroin I found in my son’s sock drawer. That scared the living hell out me. But that’s another story I’m not willing to think about today because I have centered my whole life around it for the past 5 years. After much therapy and Al Anon and my family nearly disowning me because they felt I enabled him so much (and they were right) I am finally on the road to recovery and fortunately so is he.
Another scary moment was when I drove my two children to the bus stop one morning. My daughter was the only one getting on the bus. She was about 7 years old and my son was about 4. So she is in the front seat and gets out of the car, gets on the bus and takes off. My son is in the back seat. What I didn’t know is that he had undone his seat belt and opened the door and not closed it tight. Well, I drove off. We were going very slowly because we were on the back streets behind my house where you really couldn’t go over 20mph. All of a sudden I hear a scream and I look in the back seat and he’s gone. I look in the rearview mirror and he’s about twenty yards behind the car getting up off the ground. I slammed on the brakes, didn’t even put the car in park and ran towards him. Thank God he’d gotten up off the ground and was running towards me but his little face was streaming with blood. I almost threw up I was so scared. In the end he actually only scraped his chin. I took him to the Doctor anyway just to be sure but he was fine.
There was a time when he was at the emergency room so often I got to thinking they might think I’m abusing him. Actually, he was abusing me by getting hurt so often. I don’t think I could list all the things that happened to him when he was young. He was the kind of kid who dove into any situation without even a thought of the outcome. He’s still that way at 26. He broke a leg, a bee sting that swelled up his hand to the size of a melon, a baseball bat hit him in the head, damn near knocked him out, sprained ankles (skateboarder), A sliver in his foot even the Doctor had a tough time getting out. The Doc said “Never seen one quite like that”. He and some little girl were trying to go down the slide at the same time and they cracked heads and he had to get stitches, and the list goes on.
The day he decided to learn how to drive a two wheel bike was great. We were at a cookout at a house at the top of a hill. He was about five. Climbs on this two wheel bike and just goes flying down the hill, not even knowing how to brake. He ended up at the bottom of the hill in a bush. He climbed out of the bush, walked up the hill and did it again.
He also did the same thing with drugs. Diving right in not thinking of the consequences.
Then there’s my daughter, the exact polar opposite. Never did drugs, barely drinks, responsible, has a great job, generous to a fault, thinks about everyone’s happiness before her own. I think her biggest problem is that she does so well at everything, I think she feels she has to live up to everyone’s expectations and be perfect. How could two children turn out so different? Yet, I love them both.