How Do You Know Whether You Are A Dumbass Or Not?

I’ve been thinking about this for a long time, actually years. I used to use the term idiot but have since changed to dumbass. It says more to me. I have more of a connection with the dumbass word rather than the idiot word. I don’t know why, but I have my fears over this.

I look at some people during my travels through town and they’ll make some dumbass move and I’ll immediately think “dumbass”. BUT, I ask you, maybe I am the dumbass and don’t know it. I’m sure the person I am calling a dumbass doesn’t know they are a dumbass which only leads me to conclude that I could be a dumbass and not know it.

That’s a scary thought. What if we are all dumbasses and don’t know it?

I’ve always thought of myself as fairly intelligent. I do well at Trivial Pursuit. I’m well read. I can figure out how to use my computer, most days. I listen to opera. But is that enough to keep me from being a dumbass?

I suppose I could just be a partial dumbass. I know I’m not perfect. My family will attest to that fact, over and over and over again. So maybe I can console myself by thinking I’m just an intelligent person who occasionally makes dumbass moves.

But what about the real dumbasses? You know the ones. You’ve seen them in your town too, swaggering down the road with their pants down around their knees. Am I the dumbass because I don’t wear my capris like this?

Do they know they are dumbasses? Do they look in the mirror and see a dumbass? No, they don’t. Do I look in the mirror and see a dumbass? No, I don’t. So which one of us is the dumbass. Will the real dumbass please stand up!

Wikipedia does not currently have an encyclopedia article for Dumbass. I find that interesting. They have articles about everything else in the world. There is a website http://www.dumbassdaily.com. There are actually quite a few websites with the word dumbass in them.

I ACTUALLY FEEL BAD FOR THIS POOR DUMBASS WHO IS NOW GOING TO STAY POOR. IT’S A SHORT VIDEO ONLY 85 SECONDS BUT SHOWS HOW WE CAN ALL BE DUMBASSES AT TIMES.

Speaking of dumbasses, I figured out why my video sucked. I didn’t have it on high quality probably because I never use it. So I will have to take it to the grocery store again to do a retake. Unfortunately I can only get 15 seconds out of it at high quality.

SARAH BOUGHT ME THIS T-SHIRT THIS PAST WEEKEND. SHE SAID IT REMINDED HER OF ME BECAUSE OF THE BIRKS.

I don’t know. I do wander around sometimes feeling a little lost wondering who the dumbass is.

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24 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. c
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 15:44:59

    i think we all have dumbass moments.
    The moments for some may last for a few minutes, or years, but we’ve all been there, i think.

    i often feel like a dumbass but i know i am not the only one, and that is a comfort and a horror.

    Also, i’ve always kind of shied away from the use of dumbass, but would engage it from time to time. Then one of my sisters introduced me to the phrase “box of rocks”. i love it, it’s funny and i don’t feel so guilty saying someone is a box of rocks.

    “Box of Rocks” is excellent. It pretty much says it all. Two of my cats my son named Luke and Lando after Star Wars characters to go along with our older cat Yoda. I kept getting them confused and called them by the color of their collars, Red and Blue. But for the past few years I’ve been calling them Fatass and Dumbass because they are. I think that’s why I use the word dumbass a lot.

    Reply

  2. threeboys1mommy
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 15:58:29

    I’m pretty sure everyones a dumbass but me.

    That’s really funny. I guess we all think of ourselves that way. We can’t think of ourselves as dumbasses but the rest of the world is up for grabs.

    Thanks for stopping by. I love getting comments from new people. Come visit again.

    Reply

  3. laura
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 16:01:10

    You’re not a dumbass, you’re a smartass (take that as a compliment).

    Well, thank you for the compliment. My Dad used to call me a smartass and it was a compliment from him too.

    Reply

  4. Little Miss
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 16:10:55

    Great post, Joan. Love it! Surge protector? Uh, that kid better stick to college and stay off the caffeine. I’ve done some real dumbass moves in my life, but I can’t recall them right now. I say, let’s create a meme with a list of different types of dumbass moves. Oh, I know. Biggest dumbass move I ever made was marrying my second husband. I should have known when I was going to be wife #4. In unison now: DUMBASS. LMAO.

    I agree we should start a meme about dumbass moves we’ve all made. I know I have a long list. You want to start it or do you want me to. Just let me know. We could limit it to the five most dumbass things we’ve done and maybe add the five most embarrassing things we’ve done.

    Reply

  5. betme
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 16:16:18

    Laura stole my reply… hehehe. As for the saggers; I say let them sag. It makes it harder for them to get away if they are also crooks running from the police.

    Good point about the saggers. I wouldn’t let my son wear his pants like that around me. He finally wears a belt. The pants are still a little baggy but his boxers don’t show anymore. When he was younger he was helping me bring in the groceries and I tuned around and his pants were around his ankles. I laughed so hard I cried. He actually laughed too.

    Reply

  6. birdpress
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 16:31:35

    What is the purpose of that guy’s belt, I wanna know.

    I like that shirt for you. :)

    It’s a nice t-shirt. Very soft and tagless. I hate tags. I wore it today with chocolate brown capris. I was stylin’ today. That guys belt has no purpose except to make him look like a bigger dumbass than most.

    Reply

  7. thegirlfromtheghetto
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 17:00:31

    Hey, I’m in a position where I unfortunately deal w/dumbasses all day … and they do not know they are dumbasses … which is sad.

    I don’t know how you do it because you can’t go around work calling them dumbasses to get it out of your system. I’d be hard put not to let dumbass slip out of my mouth when dealing with some of those people.

    Reply

  8. theramblinghousewife
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 18:19:51

    The pants worn like that KILL me. I have a step-nephew that embraces the trend.

    Makes me nuts, but then who am I?

    (You’re right–maybe we’re all just dumbasses!) :)

    Funny post! :)

    We probably all are dumbasses at some point in time. I just try not to be one all the time. But that pant thing is a dumbass thing. My son is 27 and still wears baggy pants. At least he wears a belt now. He knows I think he’s a dumbass when it comes to baggy pants but it’s his boxers that show on occasion not mine.

    Reply

  9. kaylee
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 19:00:12

    I have no clue!

    Well, you might not have a clue but at least you’re not a dumbass. There’s a lot of stuff I have no clue about too.

    Reply

  10. shornsheep
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 19:13:03

    I nearly PMPL reading this. Am still laughing. Too gorgeous for words! You are not a dumbass, absolutely NO WAY!

    I’ve always loved the Irish words for this (which you are neither OK) eejit and gobshite. Although, a gobshite is more like someone who talks crap/doesn’t know what they are talking about.

    Thanks for the laugh. Made my day! :)

    OMG, I love the word gobshite. Oh, that’s my new word. I’ll have everyone in town saying it within a few months. I have to look up the pronunciation to make sure I’m saying it correctly. So is eejit a dumbass? I know that some Irish words are just not pronounced the way they look to us Americans ;-) like the name Siobhan. Would the language actually be Irish Gaelic?

    Reply

  11. Hannah
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 21:08:39

    This post was too funny!! I don’t think you are dumbass – not by a long shot! There are plenty of dumbasses out there who have NO IDEA they are dumbasses, but you’re NOT one of them. I probably am though …

    I don’t think either one of us is a dumbass but I’ll wager we both do a few dumbass things on occasion. Just ask my kids they will tell you ALL about the dumbass stuff I do.

    Reply

  12. sheng
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 21:27:19

    I love the shirt… very cool! Nice color too.

    It’s the first shirt I’ve ever had in that color. I was so surprised my daughter bought it for me for no reason. But she is a very generous daughter. I’m glad you like it.

    Reply

  13. thebeadden
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 21:56:08

    Joan, you are not a dumbass. I have had my moments. Too many of them, and I’m not going to tell you about them either.
    I’m blushing just thinking about some of the stupid things I have done and said.
    The saggy pants! My Brother-In-Law used to wear them, every few seconds he had to stop and pull them up. What a pain. He couldn’t carry groceries in because he needed his hands free to keep them from falling down.

    Neither are you. I saw that Christmas ornament. I need to figure out how to do that. Those would make wonderful Christmas presents. I just left a comment to some one about that actually happening to my son when he helped me bring in groceries. I turned around and his pants were by his ankles. I was in tears from laughing. He laughed too.

    Reply

  14. Hay
    Jul 09, 2008 @ 23:36:38

    Lol, love the tee.
    I don’t listen to Opera, so I probably am a dumbass :)

    My son thinks I’m a dumbass for listening to opera. But I also listen to Eminem so he forgives me for the opera. Yes, my daughter surprised me with the tee. I love the color. They used a natural dye.

    Reply

  15. mrsvierkant
    Jul 10, 2008 @ 01:16:45

    If the dumbass in the dumbass pants stood up, his pants would fall down. :D I love the term dumbass too, it is a fitting description for many people. Although I don’t say it much out loud, because of the kiddos. Idiot will slip out more often than it should. And then my kids say “Idiot, where’s the idiot?” LOL.

    As I was commenting to someone else my son’s pants did fall to his ankles once and I nearly choked from laughing so hard. I always taught my kids when they were young “If you can’t say something nice about someone, don’t say anything at all.” And then they grew up.

    Reply

  16. kaylee2
    Jul 10, 2008 @ 02:03:08

    I am not a dumbass? why thank you I would like to keep that label ;) How you been joan?????????? I miss you alot!

    I’ve been doing well Kaylee. Did I read on someone else’s blog you have bone cancer? That’s awful. I am so sorry you have to go through this.

    Reply

  17. boundandgags
    Jul 10, 2008 @ 09:52:00

    I’ve had this discussion and I think people who are true dumbasses, the type who pick their teeth with a revolver, have no clue they’re even blinking. But then there is the other level who know what they’re doing but they continue because they either don’t want to do something or like getting away with something.

    An example of the first is a guy (I swear I could hear crinkling come from his eyes when he blinked) yesterday who thought I was ripping him off because he gave me a hundred dollar bill for a sixty-nine dollar charge but could not fathom that $31 was, indeed, the correct change. I laid out the bills and everything but he still thought I owed him $10 (in his mind, I’m sure, he saw the sixty but missed the nine).

    An example of the second the my girlfriends daughter. She’ll stand there with that ‘Wha? Huh?’ expression until someone (her mother) takes over.

    As far as me personally, I put the ‘du’ in dumbass.

    “the type who pick their teeth with a revolver, have no clue they’re even blinking.”

    That’s too funny!! Now that’s a dumbass and I’m sure I’ve met him.

    It’s amazing how younger kids don’t know how to make change even when their cash register tells them what the change should be.

    Well if you put the du in dumbass I certainly put the ass, broken as it is.

    Reply

  18. writerchick
    Jul 10, 2008 @ 19:45:32

    Hey Joanie,
    Yeah, I guess we all have moments when we do dumbass things – but then there are others who are always doing dumbass things – i think that might be the deciding factor. How consistently dumbass is their behaviour? The kid on the game show really wasn’t thinking, was he? Yikes.
    Annie

    I felt bad for that poor boy on the game show. You know he was just having a dumbass moment the way I have my “senior” moments. He was tired and just not thinking straight, something we all do on occasion. At least now that I am older I can call them “senior” moments instead of “dumbass” moments. Sounds a little more dignified though they both mean the same thing. ;-)

    Reply

  19. java
    Jul 11, 2008 @ 03:51:39

    Joan, Joan, Joan…. I think we are all dumbass’s in our own special way!

    But some are just bigger dumbass’s than normal! WHOOT! I get such a kick out of you.

    You got that right!! I am a special dumbass!! ;-) But I’m not a plain old dumbass!!

    Reply

  20. Laura
    Jul 12, 2008 @ 21:46:45

    Adding some variety to Dumbass:

    Not pulling a full wagon.

    Not the brightest star in the sky.

    The light’s on but no one’s home.

    Not the brightest bulb in the box.

    A few screws short of a hardware store.

    Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.

    A few cards short of a full deck.

    A few fries short of a Happy Meal.

    About as sharp as a marble.

    Only has one oar in the water.

    Smart as a bag of rocks.

    A hamburger short of picnic.

    The elevator doesn’t go all the way to the top floor.

    A few peas short of a casserole.

    A few keys short of a piano.

    Not the brightest bulb on the Christmas tree.

    The gates are down and the lights are flashing, but the train isn’t coming.

    As smart as a stick.

    Fell out of the stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.

    An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.

    Has an IQ of room temperature.

    Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.

    Not the sharpest crayon in the box

    Not the the sharpest tool in the shed

    They are depriving some village of its idiot.

    A few threads short of a sweater.

    Driveway doesn’t quite reach the road.

    The battery is not fully charged.

    Dumber than a bag of hammers.

    A few bricks short of a full load.

    A few clowns short of a circus.

    A few beers short of a six-pack.

    Dumber than a box of hair.

    All foam no beer.

    As smart as bait.

    Forgot to pay his brain bill.

    The antenna doesn’t pick up all the channels.

    Missing a few buttons on his remote control.

    So If I ever do write the book I will give you credit. These are wicked cool ideas. Maybe we should co-write it. I don’t know if I can do this alone.
    :)

    Reply

  21. teeni
    Jul 13, 2008 @ 15:13:58

    LOL – This post cracked me up. To answer the question of your post title, I will just let you tell me when I’m being a dumbass and that is how I’ll know. LOL. Nice work from Laura on all those alternative dumbass terms. I have actually always gotten a kick out of the word “dumbass” since watching That 70′s Show.

    I used to love That 70′s Show. My kids got me to watching it. Yea, Laura did a great job on all those dumbass terms. If you are ever a dumbass I will let you know but I already know you never will be.

    Reply

  22. Peter Parkour
    Jul 14, 2008 @ 15:11:40

    We all have moments where we find ourselves walking the path of the dumbass, but then there are those that live on the path of the dumbass, which happens to be a one way dead end street. ;) Who wants to be a millionaire? That dumbass did. :P HA! Poor dumbass.

    Hopefully I don’t live on “Dumbass Way”. I just pass through on occasion. That poor dumbass kid is going to stay poor.

    Reply

  23. javajunkee
    Jul 16, 2008 @ 08:47:45

    our town is full of village dumbasses that are missing. I’ll be glad when they call them home.

    so if we make a film with dumbasses then the disclaimer should be…

    No dumbasses were harmed in the making of this film. YEAH RIGHT! Yes they were!

    Joan, once again you crack me up!

    “so if we make a film with dumbasses then the disclaimer should be…No dumbasses were harmed in the making of this film. YEAH RIGHT! Yes they were!” I love it. Once I can find some dumbasses to film I’ll have to use that disclaimer to protect myself.

    Reply

  24. Pure Evyl
    Jul 18, 2008 @ 13:50:53

    One of my favorite quotes of all time is, ‘Everyone has a right to be an idiot, some people just abuse the privalege.’

    It’s from Stalin. Yeah, I know he was an evil idiot but hey it’s a great quote.

    That is an excellent quote even coming from Stalin. Too bad he wasn’t smart enough to realize he was abusing the privilege.

    Reply

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